


Comment, Like, Subscribe My Heart

by thesoulsailor



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: BeautyGuru!Luke, Genderqueer Character, Jealousy, Luke wears make up, M/M, Musician!Ashton, Mutual Pining, Pining, Twitter, YouTube, Youtube!Au, and ashton is lovely sunshine, and nailpolish, calum will beat up anyone who has to say something against that, cis!Michael, fratboy!calum, michael is very intrigued, musician!michael, non-binary!Luke, tw cissexism, tw transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-03-29 11:23:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 54,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3894529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoulsailor/pseuds/thesoulsailor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>It didn’t take more than the first three videos and Michael was hopelessly endeared. Luke was funny in an unintentional way and his words and stories were simply intriguing. The vlogs were a lot barer, broadcasted Luke’s life right into Michael’s bedroom. It felt weird, almost as if he and the blonde boy were friends, the way Michael learned Luke’s quirks and character, little things like the fact that Luke preferred soda over coffee. And Luke was not wearing make-up in some of them.<i></i></i><br/>or Youtube!AU in which Luke is a non-binary beauty guru, Michael is the lead singer of Ashton's cover band and Calum thinks gender roles are overrated anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Foundation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, lovelies!  
> It has been some time but I am finally done with my A-levels, yay! In front of me are five months of free time and a lot of fic that demands to be written. So let's start this fest of with an AU that has been not more than a six minute voice memo for a couple of months now. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. 
> 
> **James made this baby an amazing playlist[[listen on 8tracks]](http://8tracks.com/jammiees/comment-like-subscribe-my-heart)**
> 
> Now enjoy! xx

**Three Years Earlier**

Luke bit his lip. He could hear the rest of his family trudging around downstairs, Jack screaming for his cleats, Liz yelling at Ben to put water alongside soda into their tucker bag. He sucked in a shaky breath, closed his eyes from the brightness of his laptop screen. Luke’s blinds were closed, making the white screen the only source of light in the otherwise darkened room. He had stared at it for the past half an hour, eyes fixed on the inconspicuous grey button that said Upload. The cursor was placed like a crown on the p, ready to activate the option.

Luke’s heart was pounding against his rib cage, thumb hovering over the touchpad. He couldn’t do it. Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes, making him blink rapidly. He flinched when suddenly, his door flew open, his room being bathed in light.

“Hey, Lukey, you ready to - woah are you alright?”

Hastily, Luke began wiping his eyes. He wasn’t able to look at his older brother, couldn't meet the concerned gaze Jack had fixed him with. A slight shiver of horror shot up his spine as he realised he was making the whole situation worse. Black smudges were streaking his fingertips. He hadn’t used waterproof mascara. There was no way Jack wouldn’t notice the make-up now. The thought felt like a punch to the gut. A single, strangled sob escaped Luke’s mouth, and then he was full on crying.

“Oh my god, Lukey.” Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulled him against the rough, open-pored fabric of Jack’s soccer jersey. The familiar scent of polyester and body spray clogged up Luke’s nose, made him gasp for air.

“I’m sorry.” He squeezed out eventually, too ashamed to look his older brother in the eye. Luke startled when he felt Jack’s fingertips press against his cheeks. Jack examined the black colour on his fingertips, eyebrows scrunching up momentarily. Then his expression smoothed out, became stern. Luke tried hard not to whimper.

"What's wrong, Luke?" Jack asked, lifting his chin upwards.

“I…” He couldn’t say it.

Jack waited a few seconds, then let his gaze wander further. It got caught by the laptop laying on the sheets next to them, the upload window still open. “What is this?”

When Luke didn’t answer, Jack picked up the laptop. The sound of his index finger hammering against the up button reverberated like a jackhammer against Luke’s skull. He wanted to scream, take the laptop away, hide his secret, but then, it wouldn’t have made much sense. This was the internet. It would have been only a matter of time for his family to find out anyway.

Jack surveyed the screen a couple of times before eventually pressing the play button. He watched the video in silence, his eyebrows only raising once when on screen Luke began applying mascara. Luke closed his eyes, then, unable to take it any longer. He wouldn’t be able to deal with the disappointed looks of his brother, the possible disgust.

“So.” Jack said eventually, long after the mumbled, “Bye, guys!” Luke had closed the video with had echoed through the room, through the space between them. “You wanna upload this?”

I’m sorry, Luke wanted to say. Instead, he nodded.

“Yeah, I…” Talking hurt, his throat all raspy from the waterworks earlier. “Yeah. I thought if I, if I do it and people will see it, people like me, they…” He broke off.

Jack nodded, an infinitesimal tilt of his head, eyes fixed on the screen.

“People at school will kill me though. Once they find out, I mean, I’m a dead man.” The laugh that bubbled out of Luke’s throat sounded way too terrified to fool Jack into thinking Luke was anything else but scared to death. The older boy looked at him, same blue eyes piercing Luke with such intensity that it made the younger boy swallow.

“Is this what you want to do?” Jack asked. “Do youtube videos and stuff?” The older boy lifted his fingers to Luke’s cheek again, rubbing over the dried remnants of make up. “Wear this?”

Luke inhaled, closing his eyes. “Yes.” It was the truth. He was not ashamed of himself. He wasn’t. This was about courage not shame, however.

“Okay.”

Luke pried his eyes open. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Jack nodded, shrugged. The familiar lopsided smile made his expression light up. “You are who you are, Lukey. I’d rather have you happy expressing that than you trying to be like me or Ben or Dad and be heart-broken inside.” Jack frowned. “I don’t want you to be heart-broken.”

Luke wanted to laugh. It was so absurd, the whole situation. Normally, their conversations hardly got deeper than who was responsible for doing the dishes.

“So if this is what you want to be, then so be it. Let me and Ben deal with the jerks at school. If this is who you are, you should never be ashamed.” The determination in Jack’s eyes made Luke’s stomach flutter.

“Yeah.” Luke wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “Yeah okay.”

“Great!” Jack grinned. “Hug between brothers?”

Smiling, Luke leant into Jack’s open arms.

“Oi, kids, hurry! Dad’s already stressing over getting a parking spot and- what’s going on?”

Luke very nearly screamed as he spotted Ben’s bulky figure in the door to his room. Panicking, he tried to wipe the rest of make-up off his face but to no avail. In lack of a better idea, he buried his face in Jack’s chest.

“You having a bro cuddle without me? I’m gravelly hurt, guys.” Heavy footsteps resonated off the floor as Ben advanced further into the room.

“No.” Jack’s voice sounded from above Luke’s ear. His tone was, much to Luke’s confusion, amused. “Lukey and I were just having a chat.”

“Oh, did he finally tell you about his girl persona now?”

Luke’s blood froze. Startled, he looked up.

“Not quite, but we’re allowed to know now.” Jack grinned and Luke gasped. “You knew?”

Ben and Jack blinked at him, both decisively unimpressed. Without further ado, Ben flopped down on Luke’s other side.

“Of course we knew.” Jack said, easily.

“You’ve been using mum’s stuff for ages, Lewi.” Ben examined the laptop screen with interest. “That shit is expensive as hell, she was quite mad until she figured out it was you.”

Luke could feel his cheeks heating up. “Oh.”

“Yep. You’ve always been a special bean, Lukey. I’m quite hurt you thought we wouldn’t love you anymore or something like that.” Jack frowned before grinning, tackling Luke into a headlock. “You’ll always be our annoying little brother.”

Luke struggled only for a short moment. Then he was smothered in muscular limbs and blonde hair.

“I have a question though.” Ben said after they had let go. Luke motioned him to go on. He felt more at ease than he had in a long time, sandwiched between his brothers, fuzzy warmth swirling in his stomach.  “Are we supposed to call you Louise now?”

The way his brother asked it, so genuinly concerned, made Luke giggle. “No, I’m still Luke, just… I’m just not just a boy.”

“So you are a girl now?”

“No, I- I don’t know. I’m not sure. I’m both maybe? Something in between? I haven’t-” Thinking about it made Luke’s heart speed up, like thinking about the beginnings of the world did, or why he happened to be on this earth. It was a vast, dark void that his brain just couldn’t fathom. How could he tell his brothers about the days he felt like clawing open his skin because his body didn't seem to fit him. About the times he wanted to burn every single blue shirt his mum had ever bought. Or how sometimes he just wanted to be beautiful. 

“Hey, no, it’s alright, Lukey.” Jack punched him lightly in the shoulder. “You’re our brother and you like make-up, that’s what I know.”

“Me too.” Ben chimed in.

Jack nodded. “That’s what we know. The rest you can tell us when you’ve figured it out yourself, alright?”

Luke felt something inside him melt, pour down his intestines. It felt like molten gold, the knowledge that his brothers loved him, still loved him. “Yeah, alright.”

“Great! Now wipe this stuff off your face.”

Ben winced when Jack hit him on the arm. “And reapply it of course, I mean!”

“As stupid as he is, Sitka here is right. I have a football game to win, and you two suckers are bound by blood to cheer me on, so.” Jack rolled off the bed and made his way towards the door. "Hurry!" 

“Oi, Denahi, wait up!” Ben cried out dramatically, patting Luke’s shoulder before making a beeline for the door.

Luke smiled after his brothers. He waited until Ben and Jack were gone before he allowed his face to fall. Focussing on his breathing, he laid a hand on his heart. Miraculously, it was still beating. After another few seconds, he hurried to get to his dresser. Luke pulled open the bottom drawer. He had to rummage past underwear and socks to find the small, lilac toiletries bag. As soon as he got it, he hurried back to his bed, retrieved the small hand mirror from under his pillow. A few strokes with the make-up remover pads and his face was clean again. Luke tried not to look at himself to long. Today was one of the days he wanted to be pretty. His normal face simply didn’t suffice. He was nervous, though. He had never worn make-up outside of his room before.

 _If this is who you are, you should never be ashamed._ Clinging to the warm, fuzzy feeling spreading through his body at the memory of Jack’s words, Luke pulled everything he needed out of the toiletries bag. A little bit of foundation, mascara and nude lipstick later, Luke felt indefinitely better. Just as he was about to shove the toiletries bag into his dresser, he thought otherwise of it, placing it in the middle of this desktop instead. From what Ben had said, his whole family knew anyways.

That moment, his phone rang in his pocket. Luke struggled momentarily to fiddle it out of the pocket of his skinnies, but eventually he had managed.

“Hey, Cal.”

“Hey. You done it yet?” Luke smiled. He liked how straightforward his best friend was.

Humming, he bit his lip. “No.”

“Are you going to?”

“I don’t know.” With a sigh, Luke sat down on his bed, pulled his laptop onto his lap. The tab was still open, his video processed and waiting to be uploaded.

Now it was Calum's turn to hum. “You know I will beat up anyone who will say something.”

“I know.” Luke couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jack told me the exact same thing.”

A gasp came from the other end of the line. “You told him?”

“Not really. He kinda already knew? I don’t know, it was weird. Apparently my whole family knows, they were just waiting for me to tell them.” Luke shrugged, helplessly, for no one to see.

“Bless the Hemmings.” Calum sounded content. “Wait, does that mean Liz will go make-up shopping with you now? Because I’m pretty sure Mali will beat me into the ground if I steal something from her again. She let it slide last time because she thought I had done it for my girlfriend. But as you know I’m single and I don’t really want to pull a girl just to keep cover.”

“No, it’s fine. I mean, I still have to talk to my mum, but you won’t have to steal for me again.” Luke took in a deep breath. “Thank you, by the way.”

“Of course.” Calum replied, thoroughly unbothered, and Luke really, really loved his best friend.

“Okay, I gotta go now. Jack’s game starts in a few.”

“Alright, talk to you later. Upload the video Luke! You’ve been nagging my ear off for weeks now. We both know you want it.”

Before Luke could protest, Calum had, knowing him far too well, hung up. Shaking his head fondly at his phone, Luke turned his attention back to his laptop.

“Oi, Kenai, hurry up!” Ben’s voice called him from downstairs.

“On my way.” Luke bellowed back. Then he double-tapped the mouse pad, tiny green arrow telling him that his order had been registred. The video was uploading. Without sparing the screen another glance, Luke made his way downstairs.


	2. Hairspray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The underrated youtube cover artist for this chapter is [this lovely Brit](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILY3JIidzTuMo7YZRdaJJQ/videos) whose covers are out of this world!

**Present Time**

Frantic drums followed by Mark Hoppus's voice screaming about not wanting his dad to kick his ass was what catapulted Michael straight into consciousness. Cursing, he fumbled for the source of the noise, snatched his phone from the bedside table, with the charger and all.

"What the hell, Ashton! It's three am!" Clasping a hand over his eyes, he took the call.

"Michael!" The boy at the other end of the line yelled back, his voice several octaves higher than usual. It was that rare tone that prohibited Michael from throwing his phone at the wall, made him sit up in bed instead.

"What's up?"

"That's an excellent fucking question."

Now Michael knew it was serious. Ashton rarely cursed, actually made the effort to scold Michael whenever he did it. Right now, his best friend seemed too hyped up to care. Well, Ashton was a hyper, giggly mess most of the time. One of the main reasons he was their drummer, all that excess energy had to go somewhere afterall. But this was unusual.

"Our views are up, Mikey. Big time."

"What?"

"The Taylor Swift punk mash-up just broke one million views.”

That statement made Michael kick off his duvet. “What?! How?”

“I don’t know.” Ashton giggled. “I fell asleep and it was at our usual seventy thousand and now it’s at one million, one million and another ten fucking thousand to be precise.”

“Holy shit.” Michael felt like hyperventilating. “Holy shit.”

“I know.”

“Fuck!”

“Hey, don’t swear!”

Michael was too busy scrambling for his laptop to pay Ashton any attention. Absentmindedly clenching and unclenching his fist, he waited for the screen to light up. As soon as it had, he opened his browser, youtube opening as the default page. The first thing he noticed was the number of subscribers. The number had doubled over night, making Michael’s head spin. Hastily, he clicked on their latest video, the seven digit number displaying the hits not helping his nausea. Over a million people had heard him sing, watched him shredding. The thought made a pit open at the bottom of Michael’s stomach.

He blamed Ashton. The whole cover had been the curly-haired boy’s idea. “If I have to listen to the album every time I enter your car anyways, we might as well mash it up.” Michael had thought it was a great idea, then. Of course, they had made it punk. They were a punk cover band after all. The first tunes of the mashup started playing, whilst Michael scrolled down to the comment section. Apart from the usual trolls and remarks about his hair - Michael fondly patted the pink strands at them - most comments had two things in common. A statement in various states of capitalisation and appended exclamation points about how much they loved the cover, which made Michael feel overwhelmed and warm at the same time, and and mentions of the same name over and over again. Luke. After several pages of scrolling, Michael had gathered that apparently it was this Luke who was responsible for the mash-up taking off like this. A short round of google brought him to Luke’s twitter profile. His profile picture was a penguin and Michael couldn’t help but snort. “What a nerd.”  Michael’s eyebrows raised as he saw that the profile was not only verified, but Luke also had close to three million followers.

“Wow, good for you, dude.” Michael mumbled at the screen whilst scrolling through the tweets. Most of them were gibberish, pointless talk about cereal, Disney movies and retweets from girls who had declared their love for Luke, mingled with the occasional penguin fact. Michael tried hard not to roll his eyes. He owed the guy, after all. It didn’t take him more than half a minute to find the tweet.

**Luke Hemmo (@LukeDoesThings)**   
_just found the sickest mash-up of 1989, check it out gois .youtube.com/watch?v=rp2LkM…_

Michael’s heart speed up. He clicked the link and de facto, there was his and Ashton’s video. Suppressing a scream, he closed the tab and returned to Luke’s twitter profile. Michael clicked the follow button, then he scrolled back to the video tweet and clicked on reply.

**Michael Clifford (@Michael5sos)**   
_@LukeDoesThings thanks for the shoutout dude! appreciate it a lot! x_

Out of some weird reason, Michael’s heart was pounding. Before it could get any worse, he continued to stalk Luke’s twitter. A little further down, he found another video linked. This time there was a thumbnail displayed and Michael’s breath caught in his throat. He could have blamed it on the fact that the boy was wearing make-up. The sight was strange enough to him. But as much as he wanted to blame it on the winged eye-liner and dark purple lipstick, he couldn’t. Because the make-up was merely an enhancement, an amplification of the boy’s beauty. Fact was that the boy was gorgeous.

Not taking his eyes off the screen, Michael picked up his phone from his lap.

“Ashton?”

“Finally, I was about to hang up.”

“Yeah, I’m going to call you back tomorrow, alright? Sorry, I called you an idiot.”

Ashton laughed. “I love you too, man. Sleep well.”

Michael didn’t give more than a hum, then the line went dead. Biting his lip, he clicked on the source button of the video. It took him to a youtube channel, took him to Luke’s youtube channel, the very same Luke that had recommended his music to almost three million people.

The beauty videos were what he clicked first. Once Michael had made it past the initial weird feeling of seeing a guy apply make-up, he could admit that Luke was good at what he was doing. Michael was fascinated by the way Luke would use different colours and brushes (brushes seemed to be some kind of big deal) to make himself look pretty. And he was pretty, god, was the boy was pretty. Michael couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. He studied every aspect of Luke’s face religiously while he clicked through video after video, make-up tutorials to a thing called hauls which basically meant Luke would present toiletries and other beauty stuff he had shopped. Michael didn’t really care, he was just grateful there was always a new video waiting for him once he had finished one.

Michael studied the way Luke’s lips moved as he spoke, and the tiny crate his smile created on the right side of his face. Michael hadn’t known it was possible to be obsessed with a dimple, but here he was. His heart jumped whenever Luke’s nose would scrunch up, and his eyes would crinkle as he laughed. God, Luke’s eyes. Such mesmerising, sharp blue. Enough to cut diamonds in half, pierce through everything that dared to get in their line of sight. Luke was beautiful and Michael was obsessed with the way his lips moved when he talked, and the tiny wiggles of his head whenever he got excited. Luke was captivating, and that had nothing to do with the make-up, or the flower crown he wore in every video. Those were always provided by a different viewer of his that would receive a special shoutout, right after Luke’s trademark introduction “Hoi, gois”, accompanied by a small wave.

After binge-watching the entirety of content on Luke's main channel, Michael took to Luke’s second, vlogs and little snippets of his life. Michael was in stalker heaven. It didn’t take more than the first three videos and Michael was hopelessly endeared. Luke was funny in an unintentional way and his words and stories were simply intriguing. The vlogs were a lot barer, broadcasted Luke’s life right into Michael’s bedroom. It felt weird, almost as if he and the blonde boy were friends, the way Michael learned Luke’s quirks and character, little things like the fact that Luke preferred soda over coffee. And Luke was not wearing make-up in some of them. It were mostly the ones where he had just woken up, telling the audience about what he had planned for the day in a sleep raspy voice that would haunt Michael for weeks, or the ones filmed by Luke when he was just chilling at home, hanging out with friends.

It gave Michael a weird feeling of satisfaction, knowing Luke existed like this as well. Not a second later Michael felt bad about it. His comfort came from seeing Luke in a “normal” look that was clearly not the version of himself Luke preferred. Michael wondered how many people in his life had been like Michael, shameful upon being more comfortable with a make-up-less Luke. There were different people with Luke at times, in his videos, but one boy was always part of the constellation. At first Michael had wondered how it had come to be that a flowercrown wearing butterfly like Luke was friends with someone who lived up so glaringly obvious to the fratboy stereotype like Calum, or Cali as Luke called him. Calum was sporting the eversame combination of basketball shorts, shirt with cut-off sleeves and snapback in ever single shot Luke took of him and he reminded Michael strangely of a puppy, with his huge brown eyes and happily excited demeanor. But there was also adoration in his eyes, whenever he would look at Luke, such old pride and friendship that Michael wasn’t surprised when Luke explained in a question and answer video that Calum and him were friends since the womb.

"Cali!" Luke exclaimed, off camera as he was filming a shy but fondly amused looking Calum, pushing the lense all up in the other boy's face. “It’s unpacking day today, yay!”

“Yay!” Calum gave back just as enthusiastically, albeit his voice was laced with sarcasm. What followed were twenty minutes of the two boys rummaging through package after letter after moving cartons wrapped in wrapping paper. At the end of the video, both Luke and Calum were showered in sweets and glitter and Michael’s cheeks hurt from grinning so much.

It was after that video, that Michael caught sight of the time and his stomach plummeted. It was almost seven am. He had spent the past four hours watching Luke’s videos. Swiftly, Michael shut his laptop. He was supposed to meet Ashton at their studio in four hours. “Shit.” He muttered into the darkness of his room. Determined to get at least another few hours of sleep, Michael curled himself back under his blankets. He could still hear the way Luke laughed when he drifted off.

*

“What the hell happened to you, mate?” Ashton greeted him upon opening the front door of the studio. Michael didn’t bother detaching his mouth from his coffee cup. He didn’t even like coffee, but desperate times called for desperate measures, such as two hours of sleep. So Michael simply flipped the curly-haired boy off as he walked past, effectively adding more caffeine to his system in the mean time.

“Wow, LA has changed you.” Ashton shouted after him, thoroughly unbothered. It was an old inside joke between them. Since they had taken the risk and spent all their savings on a plane ticket to the States a month after Michael had turned eighteen, it was a running gag between them. LA was supposed to be full of flamboyant, crazy people. And Michael couldn’t say that wasn’t true. There had been some weird situations during the first weeks after the two Aussie boys had hit the city. Some of them had been quite discouraging, but not enough to make them give up. Music was their dream and LA was the city to be in to make it. And eventually, they had adapted. Ashton, the social butterfly he was, had organised them the right contacts and Michael had convinced the people with his talent. They were still a small act, but they were working hard, gathering fans one by one. It was enough to live off of, and Michael couldn’t ask for more in his life. Determinedly, he blinked away the image of a certain blond that popped into his mind at the thought.

“So, I was thinking Maroon 5.” He said as he flopped down in the beanbag chair opposite Ashton’s drumkit placed in the middle of the living room turned jamming area.

“I like it.” Ashton dimpled, sitting down on the stool. “Any song in particular?”

Michael smiled, setting the empty cup down next to him. “More like another mash-up.”


	3. Eye Shadow

Luke was waiting at the bus stop in front of the uni library. There were some kids on the waiting seats, snickering, shooting him quite unsubtle glances from time to time. Luke knew too ignore it. Snide remarks and displeased looks from strangers had stopped bothering him a long time ago. High schoolers, especially, couldn't hurt him anymore. Not letting the kids ruin his mood, he popped in his earphones and turned the volume up as far as it would go.

The bus arrived not a minute later and Luke managed to snatch himself a seat in close proximity to the door. The ride to his stop wasn’t that long, not even twenty minutes. Luke spend the time mindlessly scrolling through his twitter feed. He was already squeezing his way to the door when he saw it.

 

**Mic hael Clifford (@Michael5sos)  
** _@LukeDoesThings thanks for the shoutout dude! appreciate it a lot! x_

 

It took the last out of Luke to contain his shriek until he had left the bus. The moment his thongs touched the pavement, he clasped a hand over his mouth, uncaring that he rubbed off a good portion of the rosé lipstick he was wearing in the process. With shaking fingers, he switched apps to his contacts.

" 'lo?"

"Michael tweeted me!" Luke shrieked into the receiver.

"Who?" Calum's voice sounded muffled. His best friend was eating, Luke realised after a second.

He tried not to roll his eyes. "Michael! Michael Clifford!"

"Oh." There was a short period of silence before Calum continued to chew. "That's that cover dude you're obsessed with, right?"

"He's not 'that cover dude', Cal." Luke huffed. "He's amazing and talented and so cool." Luke knew he sounded like a teenage girl sobbing about her pop sensation crush, but he couldn't help it. The first time he had seen a video of Michael had been a month ago. A viewer of his had recommended it to him when she had recognised him on the street. Intrigued by her enthusiasm, Luke had googled the name she had scribbled on his arm. 5 Seconds of Summer, a two piece cover band on youtube as it had turned out. Luke had opened yaBeat the moment Michael had rasped the first verse of into his ear. It had been an original song called Wrapped Around Your Finger. After two days of constant repeat, Calum had threatened to throw his laptop out of the window should he have to listen to it one more time.  Luke had just smiled. There was an EP and more than fifty youtube covers to get obsessed over.

"Cooler than me?" Calum asked, effectively pulling Luke back into reality.

The blonde boy grinned, pushing the strap of his backpack up his shoulder. "Absolutely."

Calum growled and Luke giggled at the mental image he had of his best friend. An angry Calum, with his eyebrows knitted together, nose scrunched up and teeth bared, with this hint of danger in his deep brown eyes, tended to resemble an irritated puppy in the most striking way.

"I see.” Calum sniffled. “I'm gonna ditch you for my cheeseburger, then. At least he appreciates me."

"Love you." Luke lilted before hanging up. Still giggling, Luke clicked on Michael's profile. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Michael had followed him, the tiny blue direct message icon having appeared next to Michael’s profile pic. Sucking his lip ring into his mouth, he clicked the button.

\-- hi :)

Luke’s eyes widened in horror. This was awkward. He was being awkward. He sounded like he was a friend Michael talked to daily. They hadn’t even met in the first place. Hastily he sent a second message.

\-- just wanted to say you’re welcome for the s/o. it was my pleasure, i’m a huge fan!

After a second of contemplation, Luke added an x. Michael had done it first after all. It was when Luke tasted blood in his mouth that he let go of his lip and closed the app. Of course Michael wouldn’t answer immediately. Sydney was seventeen hours ahead of LA regarding time zones. (Not that Luke had googled that.) This meant it was a little after midnight for Michael and he was probably asleep. Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Luke rounded the corner that led him into the street that his apartment complex was located in. He liked the red brick building. It was filled with students which all were either too stoned or too educated to care about Luke’s gender nonconformity.

As soon as Luke had wrestled the metal door to their flat open, it was to find Calum sprawled out on the living room floor, clad in nothing but a union jack onesie and empty burger wrappers.

"Cali?" Luke asked, setting his backpack down on the dinner table. It was heavier than usual as he had had to borrow some books from the library for his ecotrophology paper.

Calum didn't give more than a groan in response. Giggling, Luke pulled out his flipcam.

"Looks like Cali here has a severe case of food coma." Luke told his viewers, inching closer to his friend.

Calum moaned, making a half-hearted pawing motion at him. "Fuck off."

Luke clicked his tongue in displease. "Some of my viewers are children, Cali, behave yourself. And apologise."

Calum gargled. Short-handedly Luke slumped down on his best friend's stomach, causing him to groan even louder.

"Apologise, Cal." Luke repeated, pushing the camera into Calum's face.

"Fine, fine." Content with having won, Luke let himself be pushed off, keeping the lens on Calum's face.

"Dear all underage followers of Luke." Calum smiled, default sarcasm dripping from his voice. "I sincerely apologise for having cussed and thereby endangered all y'all's precious curse word virgin-"

"Okay, that's enough!" Hastily, Luke shut off the camera. He frowned at Calum as the dark-haired boy cackled. Uttering a fake sniffle, Luke hoisted himself onto the sofa, folding his arms in front of his chest.

The laughter died in Calum’s throat. “Hey, no Luke, don’t be mad.”

Exhaling through his nose, Luke tilted his chin up and away. He fought hard to keep the smile off his face, successfully, as Calum sat up to slap a hand down on his knee.

“Luke.” He whined.

“Mh.”

With a sigh, Calum scrambled to his feet and picked the flip cam off the couch, pointing the lens at Luke. “So someone,” Calum began as soon as he had pressed the recording button, “is a little bit mad at me.”

Luke huffed, but Calum could see Luke’s lip piercing twitch.

Feeling a smirk forming on his own lips, Calum walked around the couch and made a beeline for the hallway. “Which is quite sad, because a mad Luke hardly will enjoy his surprise. Hence I can not give it to him, can I?”

Calum could see Luke’s head whip around on the small screen of the camera.

“Surprise?”

The next moment, Luke had hoisted himself over the backrest of couch and was coming up behind him. Calum shrieked and fled into the hallway. He had barely made it to his room when he was tackled onto the ground. It were times like these Calum was thankful for the carpet flooring.

"Cal!" Luke howled, planting himself on the other boy's lower back, effectively immobilising him. Though, Calum could have thrown him off, if he had really wanted to. Luke may have been taller, built more broadly, but his muscle mass was prominent due to the absence of fat, didn't come from hard work like Calum's.

"Okay, okay, I surrender. Go to your room and close your eyes."

A second later, the weight on top of Calum's back was gone, followed by the soft thundering of Luke's naked feet over the floor. Calum fondly rolled his eyes into the camera. "Just for reference, Luke is an idiot."

Then Calum pushed himself off the ground, held the camera in front of his chest as he walked over to his bedside table. He pulled the top drawer open and retrieved the small green package he had hid there. Waggling his eyebrows at the lens, he sauntered over into Luke's room. The blonde boy was sitting cross-legged on his bed, hands clasped over his eyes.

Calum made sure the lens was adjusted before he threw the package onto Luke's lap. “Congrats, mate, it’s socks!”

*

Michael was awoken by a faint buzzing sound next to his ear. Groaning, he pried his eyes open, picking his phone up half-asleep.

"Holy fuck." Kicking the duvet off himself, Michael bolted out of bed, nearly stepping on Ashton who was passed out on the floor.

“Dude.” The curly-haired boy groaned, lifting his head. “What the fuck.”

Michael ignored his best friend’s protest as he ripped open the blinds, searched frantically for his laptop. Ashton watched him with bleary eyes. “What is wrong with you?”

“Yes!” Michael cheered as he found the laptop underneath a pile of flannels. Starting it up, he sprinted back to the bed. Ashton missed him by merely an inch as he flopped himself down next to him, cracking open a can of beer.

“Counter beer?”

“No, thanks.”

“That’s your hangover.” Ashton shrugged, taking the first sip while Michael opened the internet browser.

“Oh my god.” The pink-dyed boy breathed out as he found the video. He had set it up so that his phone notified him whenever Luke uploaded something. The thumbnail was a picture of Luke in bed, angled from above and far enough away that a good portion of Luke’s naked torso was in the shot. Michael fought against a serious case of heart palpitations as he clicked play.  

“Who’s that?” Ashton asked as on screen Luke began to talk.

“Hoi, gois.” He dimpled into the camera, signature wave following. Michael failed to contain his smile at that. Luke’s wave, much like the whole boy himself, was something else. It wasn’t more than the blonde boy spreading his fingers apart and holding his hand in front of his face. “You might’ve noticed the angle is new. Well, guess what! Calum gifted me a selfie stick yesterday, yay!”

Luke’s excitement was accompanied by the other boy’s voice off camera. “You’re welcome!”

Luke giggled into the camera. He started to ramble on about what he had planned for the day and Michael let his eyes wander. Luke was wearing minimal make-up, just a bit of smudged eyeliner that might as well have been from the day before. His hair was sleep mussed, voice all raspy and deep from sleeping.

“Mikey, are you gonna start wanking?” Michael was startled by a bony finger poking him in the cheek. “Because if yes please let me flee into the living room first.”

“Shut up, Ash.” Michael grumbled. He had to resist the urge to shield the screen from Ashton’s eyes.

“Oh my god, you’re actually offended. Who is that dude?”

“No one.”

“You don’t act like he’s no one.”

Michael wanted to sigh, so he did. “Fine, he’s the one that made the Taylor Swift mash-up blow up.”

“Oh.” Ashton’s eyes widened as he roamed Luke’s form with new interest. “That’s him?”

“Yup.” Michael wanted to growl, but he knew it was ridiculous to get possessive over a boy neither of them had ever met and yet he couldn’t help it. Luke was his, his happy place.

Michael was surprised to find Ashton grinning as he looked up. “What? What is it?”

“Sorry, I would tell you, but I can’t see anything besides your major case of heart eyes.” Ashton giggled and Michael wanted to smack him up the head.

“I do not-.”

“Mhm.” Ashton rolled himself off the mattress. “Sure, go ahead and tell yourself that. I’m gonna make breakfast in the mean time. Come as soon as you can.”

Michael could feel his cheeks heat up. Stubbornly, he yelled after his best friend. “You suck!”

“Wash your hands after!” With that, Ashton slammed the door shut behind him.

Michael rolled his eyes. He was above getting off on some guy on the internet. Even if that guy happened to be neither a guy or girl for sure. _Non-binary_. It had taken Michael some time but by now, the term rolled easily off his tongue. He had talked with Ashton’s little sister Lauren about it on the phone. Lauren, as a real tumblr girl and teenage feminist, had educated him on the topic in under half an hour.

After Michael had watched the video a second time, he picked up his phone from the pillow next to him. His original plan had been to tweet Luke again, congratulate him on the video. His heart stopped as he saw that Luke, the very same Luke, had messaged him. Holding his breath, he clicked on the conversation.

\-- hi :)  
\-- just wanted to say you’re welcome for the s/o. it was my pleasure, i’m a huge fan! x

Michael swallowed. Luke was a huge fan. This was his chance. He couldn’t fuck this up.

\-- no problem, huge fan of yours as well! really admire your work. if you have an idea for our next cover feel free to hit me x

Michael’s eyes widened as the three dots appeared next to his keyboard, indicating that Luke was typing, replying to him.

\-- OH MY GOD R U SERIOUS??   
\-- FUCK I MEAN  
\-- yeah i’ma see what i can do ;)

Michael snorted. It was nice to know that however close Michael got to him, Luke remained a nerd.

\-- i’m excited to see what you come up with. better text me

Before he could think different of it, Michael added his number. He started to get worried when Luke didn’t reply. But then his phone buzzed, the iMessage icon this time.

_Hi, it’s Luke_

Michael grinned to himself as he rolled out of bed and made his way to the kitchen.


	4. Eyeliner

Michael grunted when he was hit in the head with a drumstick. "Dude, what the hell?"

"Dude, what the hell?" Ashton repeated, tone laced with annoyance. It was what made Michael look up from his phone. Ashton rarely got upset, especially with him. But when he was, Michael couldn't endure it. It was wrong to see Ashton anything but happy.

“What’s wrong?”

Ashton hissed, his normally twinkling eyes narrowing. He looked like he was about to kick the beanbag chair Michael was sitting in. “You’ve been ignoring me for the past twenty minutes that’s what’s wrong. Also you’ve been glued to your phone for basically the last week. Who the fuck are you texting?”

“Uhm.” Michael blushed. “No one.”

Michael was pretty sure Ashton’s eye twitched. He screamed when the curly-haired boy launched himself at him, obscenely long fingers slapping on his face, reaching for his phone. Now it was Michael’s turn to yell. “No, get off me!”

“Show me who you’re texting!”

“Fuck off!” Michael whined. Ashton huffed and finally managed to wrench the phone out of Michael’s fingers. Ignoring Michael’s protesting cries, Ashton skimmed the screen.

“So who’s Luke?”

“No one.” Michael lied, too fast. He knew Ashton could tell. The curly-haired boy raised an eyebrow at him, picking his drumstick off the ground and spinning it in his hand while he continued to read Michael’s texts. “No one, huh? Lots of kissy emojis for him to be no one.”

“He started it!” Michael defended himself. “He likes emojis.”

“Mhm.” Ashton grinned. The next moment, his jaw dropped. “Hold on a second! Isn’t that the guy you stan on youtube?”

Ashton turned the phone. The screen was taken up by a selfie Luke had sent Michael, showing him with crossed eyes, cheeks hollowed out because he was sucking Frappuchino through a straw. “Nice face he got. You save them in your private folder, I assume?”

Ashton smirked at him and Michael was torn between groaning and jumping Ashton in a - vain as he knew - attempt to get his phone back. Ashton unfortunately still had the drummer muscles on him, and a trained body in general. “Maybe, and if it’s none of your business. My phone now, please.”

Ashton shook his curls. “Sorry, dude, ain’t happening.”

“What why?”

“Because,” Ashton stood up, letting Michael’s phone disappear in his back pocket, “we have a gig in two weeks if I may remind you. And we are still missing a song. So get it together.”

Michael suppressed the urge to argue. It were times like these where he was reminded why the two of them owed Ashton a huge part of their success. Whenever Michael’s lazy side took over, Ashton was right there to push him back to work. It was probably one of the best qualities his best friend owned.

“Okay, okay.” Michael lifted his hands in surrender, taking the guitar Ashton handed to him. “Let’s get to work.”

*

“Luke, I swear to god if you are in there any longer I will pee in your bed!”

Luke released his bottom lip from between his teeth, hasting to the bathroom door before Calum banged it in. “Relax, Cal!”

The dark-haired boy merely grunted and shoved Luke out of the way to get to the toilet.

“Are you gonna stay there and watch me pack it out or do you wanna leave?” Calum asked, already pulling down the zipper of his jeans. Luke shrieked, fleeing to the living room. It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other naked before. They used to bath together until they were eight or so, and Calum was a chronic streaker. Luke just really had no desire to have his arduously styled quiff wilting because he had to deal with the image of Calum full-frontal. Resorting to the small mirror in the entrance hallway, he made sure his eyeliner wasn’t smudged one last time.

Luke had kept it low today, wore nothing except the black around his eyes and fluorescent blue nail polish on his fingers that matched his eyes. Luke was aware that the restraint was technically pointless. He knew from their texting that Michael had seen videos of him, knew fully well how Luke looked most days. Nonetheless, Luke planned on keeping his make-up on the low for the start. Right now, he could still pass as some washed-up emo kid if he wanted to. And considering the amount of MCR Michael listened to, according to his spotify which Luke did not stalk, Michael was into that.

Calum was standing in the door frame to the bathroom when Luke walked back to his room. Luke sighed when he saw the frown on his best friend’s face.

“Cal, please, don’t even start.”

“I haven’t even said anything.”

Luke raised an eyebrow and Calum looked away, the mumbled “yet” not going unnoticed by Luke. With a sigh, the blond boy gave up and pushed open the door to his room. He had already set his laptop up on his desktop. All that was missing was the text from Michael saying that he was online.

“What do you think you are doing, Cali?”

“Nothing.” Calum smiled innocently, continued to lower himself on Luke’s bed. Frowning, Luke watched him adjust his snapback so he could lie comfortably on Luke’s pillow. “Just hanging out with you.”

Luke huffed. “Shut it, you know I’m supposed to videochat with Michael in a few.”

Calum just hummed. The raven-haired boy pretended to be busy with his phone. Short-handedly, Luke threw the pillow of his chair at him. Calum didn’t even seem fazed when he had peeled the purple fabric of his face. “Listen, Luke.”

“I’m not a child, Calum. I’m twenty, I don’t need a parent to keep an eye on me.”

“I know that, but.”

“But what?” Luke didn’t bother keeping the annoyance out of his voice.

“But you don’t even know him.” Calum’s voice was irritatingly calm as he spoke.

Luke scoffed. “He’s literally half as internet famous as me. There is quite some proof he’s not some sixty year-old creep.”

“It’s not his age, I’m worried about.”

“Oh?” Luke crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What is it then?”

“Please, Lukey.” A part of Luke hated the other boy for bringing on the puppy eyes. “Just let me stay for the first ten minutes or so. As soon as I’m sure he’s not doing this to make fun of you or something gross like that, I’ll leave you to it, I swear.”

Luke tried hard not to let his face fall. Stubbornly, he ignored the way his heart clenched at Calum’s words.

“Michael would never do that.” The blond boy hated how insecure he sounded.

Calum smiled at him, deepest warmth in his ebony eyes, and an old sympathy Luke ignored. “I believe that too. From what you’ve told me he seems like a nice guy.”

“He’s amazing.” Luke could feel his heart pound for an entirely different reason.

“Still, it would really calm my mind if I got to see that for myself. Please?”

Luke could feel himself crumble and Calum seemed to know too. “Great!” I’ll just lie here. You won’t even remember I’m here.”

Luke wanted to tell his best friend how it was basically impossible to not hear or smell his presence. He was cut off by his phone before he had the chance to, however.

i’m online x, mikey

Luke definitely did not splutter. He was cool as a cucumber. After having checked the impeccability of his quiff in the mirroring surface of his screen, he pressed the power button. The screen lit up, the skype symbol turning as his wifi connected. Michael hadn’t lied, his symbol was green already. Sucking the lip ring into his mouth, Luke clicked on the small picture of the pink-haired boy, showing him with a slice of pizza on his head. He didn’t come much farther as the next moment, the familiar tone sounded from his speakers and a call request popped up on screen. Hastily, Luke scrambled to accept it.

All air rushed out of his lungs the moment call connected and the image of Michael popped up on his screen. The other boy was in bed which was not really a surprise. It was midnight for him after all. Hungrily, Luke’s eyes roamed over ivory collarbones revealed by the stretched out white sweater Luke had have the desire to snuggle into every time he had seen Michael wearing it in one of his videos. His gaze wandered over Michael’s plump lips and soft yet defined features, up to his screaming pink hair. Luke couldn’t help but smile, even though there was still no oxygen reaching his lungs. It wasn’t Michael’s beauty that made Luke’s breath catch in his throat. Though Michael was consummate enough that he easily would have been able to coax such a reaction out of Luke. It was the fact that Michael was definitely and unmistakenably wearing guyliner.

“Hey!” Michael rasped into his webcam that very moment and Luke’s attention got diverted by the way his lips moved when he spoke. “Can you hear me?”

Eventually, it dawned on Luke that he was supposed to respond.

“Hi!” He wheezed out and Michael smiled, seemingly content that the connection was working.

“I like your eyes.”

The pink-haired boy laughed upon that. “Thanks.” His green eyes flashed as he looked down. “I like yours too. I mean, it’s kinda like the reason uh - I wanted you to feel comfortable so I thought it, it’d be cool if we match.”

The webcam quality was not shitty enough to hide the blush creeping on Michael’s cheeks. Luke’s mouth dropped open the moment he realised what Michael was trying to tell him.

“Thank you, that’s- thank you.” Not even the aborted barfing noise Calum gave from behind him could bring Luke down from his cloud of _Michael applied eyeliner for me, Michael Clifford applied eyeliner for me._

“No problem. I must say, now that I am wearing it, I kind of see the appeal. It’s punk rock.” Michael winked and Luke beamed.

Conversation was easy from then on. Michael told him about his day, the song he had worked on with Ashton and how he was excited for this gig they had been booked for in a few days.

“Fans went nuts when we posted the link online. The venue was sold out in a matter of minutes, it’s crazy.” Luke could tell by the way Michael spoke about it how much he loved what he did, how in awe he was of his own success.

“That’s so cool. You’re gonna be famous, like All Time Low or Green Day. Soon you’ll be too famous to talk to me anymore, just you wait.”

“Yeah.” Michael rolled his eyes, but not in a mean way. “Sorry, Lucas, I can’t hear you over your millions of adoring subscribers.” Luke tried not to smile too hard at the nickname. “Which reminds me! I have to thank you again by the way, for the shout out.”

Luke blushed. “You’re welcome. I like your music.”

*

 _“I like you.”_ Michael bit his tongue in the last moment, let different words tumble out of his mouth, a story of something Ashton had done today, steered their conversation into a new direction. He wasn’t allowed to say stuff like that. It was too early, too much too fast. Michael couldn’t fuck this up. Not when Luke, his Luke, was actually skyping with him, on screen only for Michael to see.

Luke laughed at the story Michael had told, his nose scrunching up in that way Michael loved.

“You should come to one of our shows some time.”

Luke caught himself, simmered down into a smile. “I’d love to. Do you plan on playing one in Oz any time soon?”

Michael felt himself deflate. “No, we’re not that big yet. You’d have to come to LA, I think.”

“Mhm.” Luke pondered with his gaze averted to the side. Michael was about to change topics, rid them both of the pressing feeling of the ocean between them, when suddenly Luke’s whole face lit up. “Oh, but I will be there soon!”

Michael was nearly embarrassed how rapidly he sat up. “What?”

“Vidcon!” Luke said triumphantly.

“Shitballs, are you for real?”

“Yeah, I totally forgot, because I have to survive my exams first, but we can meet up? If you want? I’ll be there in any case, gonna host a panel with a few other beauty gurus.”

Michael felt his whole skin tingle. Meet Luke, meet Luke in person. Hug and _touch_ Luke.

“I’m buying my ticket right now.”


	5. Bronzer

“And here we have Calum riding his suitcase into battle.” Luke announced while pointing the camera at his friend. The dark-haired boy was currently perched on his suitcase, swinging an imaginary sword while the luggage belt carried him in curves through the airport hall.

“A tragedy.” Plastering a serious expression on his face, Luke spun the flipcam around. “That’s what you get when you lock up an aussie boy in a plane for fourteen hours.” He cracked into a grin. “But that Cali lost his sanity isn’t that bad because we’re in LA, baby!”

Two suit-clad black men behind him cheered, sending Luke in a laughing fit. He knew it was partially due to the excess energy pent up inside him. By the time Luke had gained his composure back, Calum had returned to him, humped his leg while wedging himself into the shot and belted out. "Hopped off the plane at LAX!"

Luke turned his head to dimple at his friend. “Enjoyed your ride?”

Calum grinned. “Very much, but not as much as you will yours, I think.” The next moment, he had wrenched the camera out of Luke’s hand. “Our Lukey here is very excited for his ride, you must know.”

“Cali!” Luke roared, too late. Calum had already taken off in a mad dash.

"Fact is, we are getting picked up by someone really special!"

"Calum Hood!"

Cackling, Calum dodged a mother wiggling her toddler in her arms. Luke's thong-clad feet slapped loudly against the linoleum as he ran after Calum. "Not gonna lie, the last time I have seen Luke that excited was when I took him to the Beyoncé concert for his birth-" The raven-haired boy screamed when he was tackled from behind. They went down in a heap of limbs and giggles, effectively gathering the attention of the majority of people around them. Several seconds they kept lying on the ground, both of them twitching in shock and laughter.

"Fuck you." Calum groaned eventually, rubbing his elbow. There was no real heat behind his words. Purposely elbowing Calum in the stomach, Luke picked himself up, snatching the camera up in the process. He hadn't opened his mouth, however, when he felt a heavy hand clamp down on his shoulder. Hastily, Luke turned off the camera as the heavy scent of cheap cologne filled his nose and he looked up to be met with a pair of bushy, furrowed eyebrows. The last thing he recorded was Calum's muttered. "Fuck."

*

"No need to cry, Lukey." Calum's voice was soft. “I’m sure they will let us go soon.”

“‘m not crying.” Luke said. He wasn’t crying. He was sniffling, maybe, but certainly not more than that. No real tears involved.

But like always, the slightest sign of distress on Luke’s part sent Calum into full protector mode. Not that Luke didn’t enjoy it. It was nice to be comforted and pampered from time to time. Especially when one had been locked into what Luke could only describe as an interrogation room, located in the back of the airport security centre, for over half an hour now. They had been taken into custody for “disturbing the public tranquility”. Luke wasn’t sure what exactly that meant, he just knew that it was bad, bad enough to get them locked into this room with uncomfortable plastic chairs and terrible air conditioning in any case.

Calum hummed, gently ruffled through his hair. On a normal day Luke would’ve yelled and slapped his hand away, but today it didn’t really matter. The plane ride had made any attempt at looking decent pointless. So Luke had only put on his day creme and decided that the world would just have to deal with him in his natural state. Not that a majority of it didn’t prefer him like was right now anyways. Luke abandoned that train of thought before he could make himself frown. The next moment, the door opened and the same security guard that had brought them here entered.

“Congrats boys, you’ve been vouched for. You're free to go. We advise you to leave the airport right away and behave decent the next time you want to take a flight. You will receive your luggage outside the door.”

Luke didn’t really get the chance to cheer like Calum did. Because then the security man was taking a step to the side to reveal a slimmer, but equally as tall frame behind him. Luke’s breath caught in his throat as his eyes washed over ruffled, pitch black hair that clashed with porcelain white skin and deep pink lips pressed into a serious line. The boy’s eyes were hidden by a pair of aviators but Luke knew he was looking at him. Suppressing the urge to squirm, Luke let his eyes wander further down, found a washed up jeans jacket, the sleeves rolled up far enough to reveal lines of ink stark against the white skin. The light blue jacket formed the only blotch of colour in an otherwise all black array of shirt, skinny jeans and converse. As soon as Luke’s eyes had reached the ground, he flicked them back up. He couldn’t help but search the dark glasses, felt his lips tug up into a tentative smile. It was then that a jolt of motion ran through the boy’s body. Pink lips stretched into a grin, skinnies-clad legs moved towards him, followed by a flash of white skin and then strong arms wrapped around Luke’s waist and he was lifted into the air. Luke laughed, slightly taken by surprise, but slung his arms around Michael just as eagerly.

Michael smelled like aftershave and denim and Luke never wanted to let him go.

Even the loud giggle that came from behind Michael wasn’t enough to make Luke separate himself from Michael. He did pry his eyes open, however. Luke smiled as he recognised the curly-haired boy leaned against the door frame. Ashton was holding his phone in his hands, the camera lens focussed on Luke and Michael. “Man, I’m so glad I have this on camera. This is wedding video gold.”

In a vain attempt to hide his blush (and utter cuddle bliss) Luke buried his face deeper in Michael’s shoulder. Soon, the security man uttered a slightly irritated cough and Luke began detaching himself from the other boy. Luckily, that didn’t mean that Michael let him go. He kept Luke close, one hand on Luke’s waist and the other on his cheek. Michael’s thumb pressed against his dimple for only a moment before he took a step back, separated himself from the blond boy.

Luke wanted to whine at the loss of contact, but then Michael was talking and he couldn’t miss that. "Not a minute in the states and you managed to get yourself arrested. I gotta say I'm impressed."

Calum answered before Luke could. His nose twitched as he spoke. "Hey, we were just 'taken into custody', okay?"

Ashton giggled. "You should be glad they didn't put you onto the watchlist."

Calum pulled a face into the camera Ashton had pointed at him. The curly-haired boy shook his head, laughing, then shut his phone off and pocketed it.

"Nice to meet you, man." Calum and Ashton slapped the palms of their hands against each other, the more legére version of a handshake.

"It's funny because I feel like I know you." Ashton said. "Have watched Michael glare at your face quite a-"

He was loudly cut off by Michael "We should leave, don’t you think? Can we go now?"

The security guard didn't answer, but smoothed his default glower into a more neutral expression. Then he pushed open the door for them.

*

Calum called shotgun the moment they reached Ashton’s hatchback. Luke tried not to roll his eyes as his dark-haired friend dove onto the passenger seat, fingers already snatching up the aux cord.

“I’m so sorry.” He told Ashton who just shrugged and laughed. “It’s fine. He’s cute.”

With a wink, the curly-haired boy swaggered around the car to get in the driver’s seat, leaving a slightly flabbergasted Luke behind. Before Luke could think too hard about what had just happened, a gentle hand landed on his back and Luke looked up to find Michael smiling at him. "You ready?"

"Yeah.” Luke leaned into Michael a little. For some reason it was easy, like body space wasn’t an issue for them. Luke couldn’t describe how thankful he was for that. He had always been a tactile person. He craved to touch the people around him, always, and that Michael allowed him to meant the world to Luke. “Thanks again for, for picking us up and stuff."

Michael pushed his tongue against his teeth as he laughed. "No problem. Now c'mon let's get in the car before Ashton gets a parking ticket."

The LA traffic turned out to be crazy and so was Ashton's driving style. For the curly-haired boy there seemed to be either the kick down or the brake, with nothing inbetween. After a good five minutes Luke's nails were buried in Michael's arm, the black-dyed boy patting his thigh thoroughly unbothered. His calming words got swallowed by the deafening Rise Against Calum was blasting. In the end, the ride to Michael’s flat took over half an hour. Ashton steered the car onto the back yard parking lot of a two-story apartment complex. Luke got out of the hatchback with wobbly knees. His heart was still beating rapidly. He had already seen himself as a sad puddle in between two car wrecks.

"That,"  Calum exclaimed as he threw the passenger door close behind him. Luke breathed out deeply, "was awesome." Calum beamed at Ashton. "Seriously, dude. Your driving is amazing! Adrenaline pure!"

Luke couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips. He masked it as being strained by the effort of hoisting his luggage out of the trunk. The next second Michael was next to him, taking the suitcase off of him.

“Oh, you don’t-”

“I got you.” Michael put the suitcase on the ground and pulled out the handle. “Service of the house.”

Before Luke could protest, Michael was already taking his luggage up the flight of stairs leading to Michael’s flat. Luke shook his head, then he followed him.

Michael’s flat was small, but clean with an interior that Luke could only describe as man cave. Large couch and TV, minimalistic decor, emphasis on the technical devices, rather than something as simple as hand soap as Luke noticed when he excused himself to the bathroom. Luke was glad he had brought his freesia soap. To his amusement, a short glance behind the shower curtain showed Luke that the missing hand soap was countered by an impressive armoury of high-end shampoo and conditioner.

Calum and Ashton were alone in the living room when Luke returned. The clambering of dishes told Luke where Michael had went. Calum would stay with the curly-haired boy, Michael had told Luke that much. They had skyped nearly every night of the past month and Michael had begun to plan their stay a week ago, admitting quickly that his flat was by all means too small for two guests but that his best friend was willing to take Luke's friend in.

"It'll be no biggie." Michael had assured him. "Ashton will gladly do it. And he only lives two streets away so."

Calum hugged Luke fiercely for goodbye. "Call me if anything goes wrong." He whispered into Luke's ear as he pulled away, the worry and earnestness in his coffee-coloured eyes making Luke smile and frown at the same time. "It won't."

"Lukey-"

"I know, I know. If anything happens I'll call, I promise. You can go. I'm a big person."

"My sibling." Calum bumped his shoulder, then made his way to the door where Ashton was already waiting for him. The moment the door closed behind Calum and Ashton, Luke felt a ball of excitement and nervousness settle in his stomach. He looked up to find Michael standing in the doorway of his kitchen, already looking at him. His eyes were gleaming in the sunlight, greyish green in the afternoon. Luke smiled, coaxing Michael's mouth to tilt up at the corners.  

This time it was Luke who went in first. Michael caught him with ease, laughing as Luke buried his face in the crook of his shoulder.

"This is so beyond cool." Luke told the denim fabric.

"I can't believe you are actually here." Michael's expression resembled that of a kid on christmas and Luke's stomach flipped.

"Yeah, me neither."

For a moment, they just beamed at each other. Then Michael let him go.

He snuck a glance at his phone. “Okay, we’re meeting the other two in an hour. Your first night in the states demands to be celebrated.”

“Sounds great.” Luke felt bubbly excitement inside that had nothing to do with the other boy. He was abroad with his best friend and two other boys who were on their way to become two great friends as well.

“I mean you’re not 21 yet which sucks but Ashton knows the bouncers of the club so it will be no problem.” Michael grinned. “Also I bought you energy drink, to counter the jet lag. It’s in the fridge. You can drink it after you showered?”

Luke sighed. “A shower sounds brilliant, actually.”

“Shower it is, I put some towels in the cabinet for you. They’re yellow.”

“Amazing. This- thank you.”

“No problem.” Michael smiled warmly. “Feel just like you’re at home. Your stuff is in my bedroom. It’s yours for now.”

Luke nodded, then made a beeline for the tiny hallway.

“Oh, and Luke?”

The blond boy turned around. Michael glanced at him only for a moment, then his eyes flickered to the TV Ashton had turned on. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

Luke felt his bones thrum. “I’m glad I’m here too.”


	6. Lipstick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Mell, happy bday babe!!

Luke was busy cramming his blow dryer back into his toiletries bag when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

“One minute!” He called out, hurrying to jump into his jeans. No easy task, considering their tightness and his still shower damp skin. Cursing, he pulled the zipper up. “Okay, come in!”

Not a second later, Michael popped his head in. His eyes flickered over Luke’s still bare torso for only a moment before he met the blond boy’s eyes. “Hey, sorry.”

“No problem.” Luke waved him inside.

Michael's expression turned concerned as he slipped inside the room and closed the door behind him. “I just wanted to ask if the lighting is okay for you to do your make-up? Because if it’s not you can use the mirror in my room. It has a lot of daylight and the sun hasn't set yet."

Luke felt something inside his stomach tingle at Michael's consideration.

"No, it's- it's fine." Feeling the colour in his cheeks rising, Luke beamed at his feet. "Thank you." He flicked his gaze up for only a second. To Luke's surprise, Michael's eyes weren't on him, but rather on the admittedly huge toiletries bag Luke had placed on the counter.

"Do you wanna watch?"

Michael's eyes widened, a guilty smile making its way onto his face. "If you'd let me?"

"Yeah, sure." Luke shrugged, determinedly ignoring the suddenly heavy pounding of his heart.

Michael nodded and sat down on the rim of the bathtub while Luke turned towards the mirror. Gulping, Luke reached for his remover wipes. It was ridiculous that he was nervous and he knew it. He had done this a zillion times before. Yet somehow this was different, different than talking to a camera. Here he got an immediate reaction. A reaction from Michael. The dark-haired boy whose eyes met Luke’s in the mirror, pink lips stretching into an easy smile. Inhaling deeply, Luke shot one back, then ripped the bag of wipes open. As soon as he had cleared his face, he turned to the section of his bag that held foundations and concealer. He chose a tinted bb cream as his skin was mostly in the clear at the moment. Luke’s heart sank when he heard Michael giggle behind him.

“What?” He asked, worriedly prying his eyes from his reflection to meet Michael's eyes in the mirror.

"Nothing. That's just the same cream Lauren uses and I'm wondering if she's a fan."

Luke laughed, relieved. "Well, if yes you have to let me meet her."

"Not gonna lie, she'll probably scream. She's fourteen."

"I'm looking forward to that."

Michael began telling a story about a day trip he had done with Ashton and his sister once while Luke finished spreading the tinted cream on his face. Next he reached for his lip section. Luke froze for a moment.

It took Michael half a minute to realise something was up. The moment he did, Michael stopped talking, shooting Luke a worried look. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure.” Luke frowned. He sighed, letting his hand fall to his side.

“Luke.” Within the blink of an eye, Michael was behind him, turning him around by the shoulders. “Talk to me.”

The blond boy bit his lip, let his gaze fall to the side, back to his toiletries bag. “It’s just-”

“Yes?”

“I don’t know.” With a sigh, Luke retrieved the lipstick he had planned on going for. “The club’s gonna be quite public, yeah? And you and Ashton are gonna be out and be seen with… me.”

Michael’s eyes widened before his brows furrowed, his lips pressing into a thin line. Luke hefted his eyes to the other boy’s chest, watched the necklace dangling around Michael’s neck jiggle with every breath the dark-haired boy heaved in.

“What lipstick were you going for?” Michael’s question came out hard and sharp, like a whip.

Luke tried hard not to flinch as he picked the black Shiseido from his bag. Michael snatched it out of his palm. For an absurd, confused second Luke thought Michael would attack him with it. His vision flashed over black turning into bronze, green into grey and then Luke’s heart was pounding and tears were collecting in his eyes. Luckily, Michael didn’t see. He was turned towards the mirror now, giving Luke enough time to calm down. It was easy as he was astounded by what Michael did next. Brows still furrowed, Michael flicked the cap off the lipstick and pressed it to his lips. Black smeared over his full pink lips. Michael’s hands were clumsy, the lipstick smudging onto his skin on several occasions but Luke couldn’t mind because holy shit this was happening.

“So.” Michael handed the lipstick back to a gaping Luke, smoothing his lips against each other, covering the last of them in black. “Now you have to be seen with me as well. Anything else?”

Still speechless, Luke shook his head.

“Great.” Michael beamed at him and patted his upper arm. “I’ll go change, then. Call if you need anything.”

And with that the dark-haired boy disappeared through the door. He looked like some kind of punk vampire now, the black lipstick making him look like he was the only black and white thing in a world of colour. Luke smiled, lifting the lipstick to his own mouth.

*

The club was crammed, dark and everything else one would expect from a club in the middle of Downtown LA. There was a lot of crazy, glitter and naked skin everywhere. It wasn’t Michael’s kind of party. He preferred small get togethers in cellars and bars, with punk music playing from the speakers instead of deafening House. This was Ashton’s kind of party. The curly-haired boy beside him was buzzing, hazel eyes sparkling with excitement, his curls already loosening from the satin green headband he was wearing. Fondly shaking his head, Michael made himself comfortable on one of the bar chairs while his best friend began bouncing up and down.

“You guys wanna dance?”

“Sure!” Calum seemed nearly as hyped as Ashton. Luke next to him nodded his head. Michael wanted to laugh at the amazed, slightly dazed expression on the blonde boy’s face. If Luke would fit in anywhere in the world, it was LA. Michael had planned on telling him as much, back in the bathroom, but showing him instead had definitely been the right choice.

Calum and Ashton bound off to the middle of the dance floor, Luke right behind them when he realised Michael wasn’t following them.

“You coming?”

Michael shook his head. “I don’t dance.” He laughed.

Luke’s smile dimmed, his bottom lip jutting out. The next moment, Ashton had one of his massive hands wrapped around the blonde boy’s upper arm. “C’mon, Luke.” It took him a moment to assess the situation. “Oh, forget it, mate, Michael doesn’t do clubs usually. You won’t get him to dance.”

Michael grinned, confirming Ashton’s words with a nod. Before Luke could say reply, Ashton had pulled him onto the dance floor. Calum greeted his friend by slinging an arm around his shoulder and pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek, effectively gathering all of Luke’s attention.

Michael spun around on his chair. Trying to ignore the couple violently making out next to him, he waved the gold-eyed - contact lenses, not her real eyes - bartender towards him.

*

“Michuuul.” Michael sniffled when the cloud of sweat, alcohol and axe bodyspray hit his olfactory nerves. The next moment, he had a good 170 pounds of drunken boy in his lap, tanned arms wrapping around his neck. Calum’s long legs reduced the miniscule space in the booth Michael had secured himself to nothing.

Michael tried to not look too confused. From what he had gathered so far, Calum was not his biggest fan. Yet, he was now clinging to him like they were old friends. Probably the alcohol, Michael thought. “Uhm, hi.”

Calum smiled at him. His eyes were reddened, happy drunk smile widening as Calum slapped two fingers down on Michael’s chin.

“I like the lipstick.” The raven-haired boy told him seriously. “Looks nice on you.”

“Thank you.” Michael patted his shoulder appreciatively.

“Mhm.” Calum closed his eyes, one of his hands curling around the base of Michael’s neck. “Not that you don’t look nice without it too. Nice.” Eyes following the movement of his own hand, Calum seized his bicep.

“Uh, Cal?”

The other boy merely giggled in response. His eyes were hooded when he looked up. The change made Michael’s stomach drop.

“You’re pretty damn hot.” Calum’s breath was heavy against his lips. “Like some rockstar.”

And then Calum was leaning forward, intention so blatantly clear as he pulled on Michael’s hair to tilt his head up. Michael jolted, sending Calum off his lap and sailing to the ground. The dark-haired boy let out a groan as he rubbed his elbow, pulled himself to his feet.

“Fuck man, that hurt.”

Michael’s heart skipped a beat as he realised that Calum’s vowels were clear, not the slightest hint of drunken slur. “Wait, what?”

Sober, Calum’s smile was far too sober as he smiled down at Michael. The only sound was the rapid pounding of Michael’s heart against his ribcage as he watched Calum lean down.

The other boy’s lips coming to a halt mere centimetres away from his ear. “Congratulations, Michael. You passed for now.”

“W-what?” The grip Calum had on his shoulder became painful. Out of the corner of his eye, Michael could see the muscles in Calum’s arms bulge.

“Stop pretending we’re both stupid. I see the way you look at him. This is your warning. You passed my little test which means I will allow you to stay in his life for now.” The smile Calum gave him was mirthless. “But if you fuck this up, if you fuck him up, I will find you and I will break every single bone that supports your body. I did it once before, I have no problem doing it again. Are we clear?”

Dumb-founded, Michael nodded.

“Great.” Calum grinned at him, patting his cheek once, twice, three times as he pulled himself into an upright position. “There’s a party waiting for me.”

With that, Michael was alone in his booth again. Not a minute later Calum's spot was taken by a very sweaty, exhilarated looking Luke. 

"Hey!" He bellowed over the music. "What were you two talking about?" 

Michael smiled, catching Luke's arm and steadying the other boy when it seemed Luke would lose his balance. Gently, he stood them both up. "Nothing. Wanna dance?"

*

Luke couldn’t help the small whine that escaped his mouth as the couch vibrated along with the thunder outside. They had gotten home about an hour ago. Calum and Ashton both hyped up messes around him up until the moment they had left the cab. As soon as Michael and him had been alone, they had engaged in sweet silence, savoured it. Luke’s head had been pounding and he had been grateful for the comfort he shared with Michael in not speaking, just letting the night wash by the windows of the car. They hadn’t talked much more when Michael had unlocked the front door for them. Not more than a quiet good night and Michael had stumbled off into his own bedroom. Luke couldn’t blame him. It was almost four in the morning now and the rest alcohol had faded from his system during the past twenty minutes.

Gritting his teeth, Luke buried his head under the pillow. It didn’t help. He could still hear the thunder, knew that there was a storm going on outside. Cursing under his breath, Luke retrieved his phone out of the jeans he had pushed to the end of the couch. He had been way too lazy to take them off properly. His thumb was already hovering over Calum’s contact when he decided otherwise. This was ridiculous. He was twenty years old. He could do this without having to call his best friend. His resolution crumbled the next moment when lightning struck what looked to be the parking lot the living room windows were facing. Within half a second, Luke was off the couch and down the hallway.

“Yeah?” Came the muffled answer to his knocking.

Suddenly feeling guilty, Luke opened the door to Michael’s bathroom. The feeling intensified when he saw the rumpled state of Michael’s hair, the bleariness of his eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No.” Rubbing his face, Michael sat up. The duvet fell down to his hips and Luke saw Michael was sleeping shirtless. The blond boy determinedly kept his eyes on Michael’s face. He would not stare at the pale expanse of skin glowing in the moonlight, these soft edges, the slim trail of hair down to Michael’s- “It’s alright. Something wrong?”

“Uh.” Luke snapped himself out of it. He felt his cheeks heat up. How was he supposed to explain this without sounding like an eight year-old? “I-”

Michael’s gaze cleared, his brows furrowing with worry. “Luke, tell me.”

“I’m scared.” He ground his toe into the plush carpet of Michael’s bedroom floor.

“You’re scared?”

“Of thunderstorms.” As if to emphasise his words, another lightning struck that moment, thunder following only seconds later. Luke flinched. “I’m scared of thunderstorms.” Like a band-aid, Luke figured.

“Oh.” Michael’s features smoothed out. “Oh.” The corners of his lips tilted up. He was still wearing the lipstick. Then, so was Luke. “Of course, of course. No problem. Come here.You can sleep with me. I’m gonna keep you safe.”

Chuckling, Michael lifted the duvet. Luke thanked all the gods that Michael was wearing pyjama bottoms. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to deal with it if Michael would have been a nude sleeper. Luke inhaled. He wanted to join Michael so bad. But then this was his first night with the other boy and technically they were still strangers. Then again this was Michael. The same Michael whom he had talked to every day of the past month. Their bodies might be strangers, sure. but their minds weren't. And for Luke it was mind over matter, always had been. Not able to hide the shivers jolting through his bones, he clambered over and into Michael's bed.

“Better?” Michael asked once they were bundled up, Luke’s back pressed to his chest. Michael’s fingers were in his hair, nothing but the duvet separating their bodies. Luke didn’t know how the older boy knew there was nothing that calmed him more than people stroking his hair. He was simply grateful.

“Much better. Thank you. Seriously, I- thank you.”

“It’s no problem. I am glad we can cuddle like this.” Michael’s breath was warm against the shell of his ear. “Night, Luke.”

“Night, Michael.”

Luke waited until the movement in his hair ceased before he allowed his own eyes to fall shut.


	7. Mascara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all my readers who participate in Ramadan (Ramadan Mubarak!) it should be noted that there is mild cussing in this chapter. 
> 
> The underrated cover artist for this chapter is a great friend of mine, [Dani](irwah.tumblr.com/), my platonic english love affair. Check out her covers [here!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gijUyvJdHuo)

Michael awoke to the overwhelming smell of apples in his nose and a soft snoring sound in his ear. Groaning silently, he pried his eyes open. A relieved little smile formed on his lips as he saw that he was indeed looking at his own ceiling. Always a good sign.

Yawning, he wanted to turn around and get another snatch of sleep, but was prohibited from moving by the weight on his chest. Confused, Michael looked down. He was rewarded by a mouthful of sweat-damp blond hair and the taste of artificial apple. Luke stirred in his sleep, shifted slightly where he was sprawled over Michael’s chest. Michael froze until Luke’s breathing had deepened again.  

And he knew it was creepy, but he couldn’t help but use the opportunity to look at the other boy, really look at him. Luke’s nose was scrunched up in his sleep, smudges of black all around his mouth. Michael suppressed the urge to laugh when he found the remnants of Luke’s lipstick smeared all over his chest. It was then that he remembered that he probably looked the same, judging by the sticky feeling to his lower face and extraordinarily dry state of his lips. Shivering at the feeling, he wiped his mouth. This time, the commotion Michael created woke Luke up.

“Hey.” The blond boy rasped out, voice rough from sleep. His baby blue eyes glew in the morning light.

Involuntarily, Michael smiled back. “Hey to you too.”

“What time is it?”

Michael craned his neck to snatch his phone from the bedside table. “Uh, about noon.”

“Ugh.” Luke dumped his head back on Michael’s chest. Michael wondered if the other boy could hear his heart beat. “Vidcon doesn’t start for another three hours. We should go back to sleep.”

“Or we could get breakfast.” Michael suggested. As if on cue, Luke’s stomach rumbled, making them both laugh.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Still giggling, Michael slid out of bed. The moment he was gone, Luke collapsed back onto the sheets.

“Will you carry me?” The blond boy whined.

“Mhm.” Michael pondered for a moment. “What do I get in return, though?”

Luke’s smile faltered before his expression turned solemn. “I’ll pay for your Starbucks.”

The blond boy flinched when Michael gasped and clutched the door frame.

“What?!”

“Luke!” Dramatically, Michael clutched his chest. “I’m a white boy in LA, you can’t just say shit like this to me.”

“I’m not shitting you though.” Luke grinned and made grabby hands at him. “My laziness for your coffee fix.”

Michael was back at the bed in half a second. Luke let out a shriek when Michael scooped him up, including the duvet he was rolled into. Michael carried him out of the bedroom and into the living room, dropped him on the couch. “Breakfast in front of the TV okay?”

“Perfect.” Luke smiled up, already busy snuggling back into his blanket nest.

*

Calum and Ashton came around the moment Michael had dumped the first plate of pancakes in front of Luke. While Ashton sauntered off into the kitchen to help Michael make smoothies, Calum slumped down next to Luke. The blond boy knew it was coming, even before Calum had opened his mouth.

So Luke tried hard not to roll his eyes when Calum asked. “Are you okay?”

"Yeah, I'm fine."

“Anything happen last night? Did Michael do anything anything that made you uncomfortable? He didn’t touch you, did he?”

This time, Luke did roll his eyes. “No.” He took a bite off his pancake.

“Are you sure?” Calum placed a hand on his shoulder. “I will kick his ass.”

Luke sighed around the food in his mouth. Once he had swallowed, he said. “Yes, I am sure.”

“Okay.” Calum’s eyes softened and Luke couldn’t help but smile. Holding his plate up with one hand, he lifted his duvet up with the other. Dutifully, Calum cuddled up to him.

“Uh, we kinda slept together, though.”

“YOU WHAT?” Calum jolted, sent Luke’s empty plate flying to the ground. Luke was thankful Michael’s living room floor was carpeted.

Lifting both hands, he pressed Calum back into the couch. “Calm down, Cal. It wasn’t like- like that-” Luke couldn’t help the blush creeping onto his cheeks upon the thought of that. “Just, um I was scared of the thunderstorm and Michael let me cuddle him. No biggie.”

Calum sized him up, examining every inch of Luke’s face. Eventually, he tilted his head to the side, crossed his arms in front of his chest. “So no dicks involved?”

Hastily, Luke shook his head. “Nope. It was a dickless night.”

“Who had a dickless night?” Michael asked upon entering the room.

“Friend back home.” Luke answered quickly. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Oh.” Michael shrugged. “Sucks for them.” Smiling, he handed Calum a smoothie before flopping down on the ground in front of the couch table. Luke nodded thankfully at Ashton who had brought him his smoothie.

“Yeah.” Calum said. “Was probably better though.”

They spent the few hours they had left, lounging in Michael’s living room, watching youtube videos like the true youtubers they all were. It was comfortable and Luke loved every second of it, even when Ashton insisted on watching one of Luke’s videos as he was the only one who hadn’t yet. It still made Luke squirmy, watching his own face on a screen.

The live rendition of Simple Plan’s Astronaut Ashton and Michael delivered in return was worth it, though. Luke managed to catch the greater part of his reaction on his phone, already planning how he could incorporate it into the vlog he planned on uploading tonight. He hadn’t panned the camera onto neither Ashton nor Michael as he wasn’t sure if the two of them were okay with him sharing their friendship online yet.

Eventually, they got up and ready. Luke decided to go easy for the day, used nothing but golden eyeliner and nail polish to compliment his dark purple shirt and black jeans. Today, he would just be a visitor. Their first afternoon in the city was supposed to be relaxed, simply for them to enjoy. They had the whole afternoon for exploring the convention as Michael and Ashton’s gig wasn’t until later that night. Something the blond boy was already excited for. Luke knew his two new friends were good. He had seen the youtube covers and the Simple Plan song had proved that only further. But Luke also knew it would be a whole new level of exciting to see Michael on a big stage, playing an actual concert at one of the bigger halls.

The dark-dyed boy had been humble when he had told Luke during their third skype conversation. Michael liked to pretend Luke was the big star and he was a mere viewer, had even joked there would probably only turn up twelve people to his show, just because his number of subscribers had a zero less behind the three. Of course, Luke knew better. He had done his research. Smiling, he remerged from the bathroom.

“There he is.” Calum told the camera he had pointed at Luke. “You ready to go, Lukey? Excited for vidcon?”

Luke pulled a funny face at his viewers, jiggling his shoulders. “First day of vidcon here we come!”

Grinning, Calum turned the camera towards him. “Vidcon, baby!”

They both cracked up when they heard Ashton shout a just as enthusiastic “Vidcon, baby!” back from the depths of Michael’s flat.

“Alright, alright. Let’s go.”

*

They got mobbed within the first ten minutes. Michael was walking around the outside court, trying to find a free picnic table for them to use. The others were following right behind him, carrying multiple trays of food. Calum hadn’t been able to decide on one of the food stands so he had ended up buying something from all of them. Finally, Michael spotted a free place rushed to a table being cleared by a family of four. Ashton and Luke let their the trays drop on the tabletop with relieved sighs, Calum following suit. He hadn't taken the first bite of his hot dog when a muffled scream reached their ears, followed by hectic whispers coming from somewhere to their right. A second later, they were surrounded by people.

Michael was almost relieved when he classified the throng of people as definitely not here for him. They were too clean, too pretty and too many of them had written Luke’s name on their arms. Michael’s relief vanished when he saw Luke’s face. The girls and few boys had pulled him into their middle, shoving phones and love declarations in the blond boy’s face. Luke’s expression turned into flashing smiles and excitement. He smiled for every picture, reciprocated every hug, but Michael could see the terror beneath. Luke was terrified.

The sight made something inside Michael snap, and then he was pushing forward, elbowed his way into the mob. “Make some space! Oi, get out of the way! Yes, thanks. Hey, you! Move!”

In lack of a better idea, Michael slung his arms around Luke’s middle the moment he had reached him, and began pulling backwards. Like in some crazy nightmare, the crowd immediately began filling the space Luke had left.

Luke and Michael had made it halfway out when one of the girls screamed his name. “Michael! Oh my god, you are Michael Clifford. Guys, that’s Michael Clifford!”

There were some gasps in the crowd and Michael felt something that could only be described as _oh shit_. Luckily, right in that moment, he got support in the form in a very pissed off looking Calum. The tan-skinned boy grabbed Luke’s other arm, mercilessly pushing everyone standing in their way out of it.

“This is not cool! Mobbing is not cool!” He followed it up by a row of expletives that were drowned out by the crowd’s chanting of “Calum!” and “oh my god, Cake!”. Michael hadn’t got time to wonder whatever that one was supposed to mean.

Eventually, they had made it out of the crowd. Ashton was already waiting for them, looking partially intimidated and partially flabbergasted. Michael related. They had seen crowds before, crowds _for them_ even, but never a mob that… fierce. Or perfectly manicured. Michael was pretty sure he spotted the spring nails tutorial there.

“Go take him to the next bathroom. I’ll tell them off.” Calum instructed. Michael didn’t have to be told twice. Luke was shaking in his arms, the distressed set to his smile becoming more prominent by the second.

“Guys!” Calum gained the crowd’s attention with a wave of his hands. “Sorry, but you’re all too much right now. Luke can’t deal with this kind of mobbing. Remember his twitlonger?”

Instantly, the mob’s clamor became worried. Michael couldn’t help but stare at Calum in awe. The raven-haired boy was good at what he was doing. “Luke’s sorry he isn’t able to talk and take a picture with all of you right now, but you can come to his panel tomorrow and we’ll see what we can do, alright?”

The rest of Calum’s speech was cut off as Michael lead Luke around a corner, accompanied by countless sorrys and “we love you, Luke!”s thrown after them. The moment he was sure none of Luke’s fans had followed them, Michael took a sharp turn left and steered them towards the nearest toilets. Once the door had swung close behind Ashton, Luke collapsed against the nearest wall. He placed his hands on his knees, breathing in heavily.

“Wait, I think I got some water.” After a short period of rummaging through his backpack, Ashton offered Luke the bottle. The blond boy took it with a strained but grateful smile before gulping half of it down in one go.

“Fuck, dude, that was crazy.” Ashton shook his head, untamed curls bouncing. “The last time I was that scared of a group of teenage girls was when my sister had her sweet sixteenth.”

Luke let out a shaky laugh and Michael seriously wanted to kiss his best friend. Ashton was gold in situations like this, with his ability to make everyone feel better around him just by rambling waterfall-like about nonsense and cracking stupid jokes.

A moment later, the bathroom door flew open.

"Luke!"

Calum sprinted the short distance between door and wall. He crouched down, wrapping one hand around Luke's bicep and the other around his chin. Luke’s eyes fluttered close as Calum examined his face.

“M fine, Cal.” He mumbled. “I could have handled it.”

“No you couldn’t.” Calum snapped. “We talked about this. Do you want to get panic attacks again?”

Luke shrinked in on himself and Michael felt himself getting angry. “Hey! It was not like he asked them to mob him!”

Calum’s snapped his head up. He shot Michael a glare that made Michael want to run into the opposite direction. “And who the fuck asked you?”

“Guys.” Luke pleaded. “Please, stop arguing.” Still shaken up, but determinedly putting on a brave face, Luke pulled himself to his feet. “I said I’m fine. It’s fine.” He locked eyes with Calum. “It’s fine.”

Calum seemed to want to protest for a moment, but then the need to not further Luke’s distress won. It astounded Michael, really, how fast the dark-haired boy could go from class A high school jock to sorrowful puppy. As soon as Calum was off his throat, Michael deflated. He couldn’t help but gulp in relief. Though he was pretty sure he would be able to stand against Calum in a fight, maybe even win once Ashton would involve himself, brawling the best friend of the boy he maybe kind of liked wasn’t exactly top spot on the list of things he wanted to do.

“Do you want to go home?” Ashton piped up, directing the question at Luke.

The blond boy shook his head. “No, we’ve been barely here for half an hour. I want to check out at least some of the halls. Also Ingrid Nilsen does a panel today and I am not going to miss that.” Defiantly, Luke tilted his chin up, crossed his arms in front of his chest. He looked adorable like that, like a proud penguin. And Michael desperately needed to get his cool back.

“I’m in.” Ashton said, countering Michael’s raised eyebrow with an unbothered _so what_ look.

“Yeah, sounds great.” Michael chimed in.

Luke smiled at him, then turned towards Calum. The two of them seemed to have some kind of micro conversation. Luke won and Calum deflated. “Okay, fine. But we have to stop at some kind of food stand. I want greasy American food and that mob deprived me.”

Beaming, Luke threw an arm around his shoulder. “You shall have it. Let's go.”


	8. Nail Polish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, hello muffins! 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> for any of you who still struggle to imagine what Luke usually looks like in this fic, I want to share this amazing edit [Mell](http://wonderhaz.tumblr.com) made, it's en pointe

The venue Ashton and Michael were supposed to play that evening was huge, one of the main halls. Luke could see the nervous glint in Michael's eyes, but the other boy didn't let on anything so Luke didn’t mention it either. Ashton and Michael were the middle part of a three band setup, all up and coming youtube artists, all incredibly talented. Luke smiled when the female lead of the first band complimented him on his eyeliner backstage.

“Not gonna lie, I am kinda jealous of the wing. I can never do that one probably.” She sighed into her water bottle before taking a sip. “And the gold looks so good with your blue eyes as well.”

Above her right shoulder, Luke could see Michael talk shop with the guitarist of her band, while Calum and Ashton fought about who could stuff the most grapes into their mouths at the buffet. They were idly cheered on by the third band, a three male combo from Sarasota.

“I have a tutorial up on my channel, you can watch it if you want. It’s LukeDoesThings. I am Luke, by the way.”

“Oh! I am Chrissy.” Excitedly, Chrissy wiped out her phone. “I’ll remember myself to do that. Also, I need your number.”

“Uh.” Luke felt his cheeks heat up in flattery. “Sure.”

He began reciting the digits when halfway through Michael appeared next to him, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “Hey, what’s up here?”

“Hi.” Chrissy chimed up, her brown eyes twinkling. “You’re Michael, right? I’ve seen some of your stuff, I love your Maroon 5 medley.”

“Thanks.” Michael said, but to Luke’s surprise the other boy’s smile was close-mouthed, his tone almost bored.

Chrissy didn’t seem to be put off. “It was really good. I talked to your band mate, the one with the curls, and he said it was you who came up with bringing Leaving California right after Lost Stars. That was genius.”

Michael’s mouth twitched, as if he wanted to crack into a real smile, but refrained. Luke frowned. He turned back towards the girl, making sure his smile was twice as bright as usual. “Give me your number, I’ll text you and you have to send me your music.”

Chrissy beamed at him and took his phone while babbling on. Luke could feel Michael’s grip on his shoulder tighten, but he pretended like he didn’t feel it. It was then that one of the stage assistant’s appeared, bending the microphone off her headset away from her mouth before calling out the name of the first band.

“Oh, shit. That’s my band. They’re calling us. We’re up.” Chrissy handed Luke the phone back. “I’ll hear from you, Luke!”

With a nervous grin and a wave, Chrissy was gone. The moment she had lead her band out of the room, Luke turned towards Michael, shaking his arm off his shoulder. The dark-dyed boy answered his raised eyebrow with a pretend confused blinking of his eyes. Then Michael plastered an innocent smile on his face, pressing his thumb into Luke’s dimple before sauntering off again. Luke huffed and rolled his eyes. Determinedly ignoring Michael for the rest of their time backstage, he joined Calum and Ashton in their food fight.

The screams that erupted when Ashton walked on stage were ear-splitting. Luke wanted to cover his ears, but that would have been embarrassing, with all the roadies and stage managers passing by the rack of tech boxes him and Calum were perched on.

“At least we can enjoy the show from the side here and don’t have to be in there.” Calum yelled into his ear, desperately trying to overtone Ashton’s drum intro.

“Mhm.” Luke was too busy watching Michael jiggle his limbs at the ramp that lead onto the stage to answer in actual words. A stage manager walked up to the dark-dyed boy and began talking to him. Michael replied to whatever the stage assistant was telling him with a thumbs up. Then he turned around, shot Luke a wink and an excited smile and off he was. The sound level doubled once again, effectively drowning out Calum’s “Hopeless, the both of you.”

Ashton was amazing on stage. Despite being the drummer, he kept in constant conversation with the crowd, his face (and bulging arm muscles) displayed on the high screens next to the stage. Luke’s vision was constricted due to speakers in front of them, but what he saw was still amazing.

It didn’t compete with Michael’s stage presence, though. And maybe Luke was biased, but he knew he wasn’t the only one. He could see it on the faces of the girls front row and behind. They were all captured, much like him. Michael had this intangible sweaty grunge true rockstar vibe to him. He would make it far. This would go so much farther than youtube covers. Luke’s chest filled with joy as he realised that this was the start and he was here to witness it. Smiling, he cupped his hands over his mouth in joined into the chorus of whoops and screams.

"That was amazing!" Luke exclaimed the moment Michael came jogging off stage. Michael waited until the next band had squeezed past them before he scooped Luke up yelled in his ear.

"Fuck, this was the best show I've ever played." Michael's eyes were glazed over. In front of the stage, the fans were still cheering for an encore.

"Really good show." Calum chimed up. Luke could see the wheeze of air leave his lungs when he was tackled into a hug by a very sweaty, very exhilarated looking Ashton.

"Thanks, dude!" The curly-haired boy giggled. He clapped Calum on the butt and then sauntered off in the direction of the changing room. Luke tried hard not to laugh at the flustered state Calum was left in.

Michael covered his laughter up with a cough. "Alright, I really need a shower. See you in a few."

He squeezed Luke's shoulder and then followed Ashton.

"Don't." Calum raised a finger and closed his eyes when Luke took a step closer. "Not a word."

"Hopeless." Luke sang teasingly, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “The both of you."

*

The morning air was dry and pleasantly cool when Michael stepped onto the streets the next morning. It was still early, not more than a few people walking their dogs on the streets and the occasional group of truants. Michael smiled every time he saw them, remembered when he had been one of them, too in love with music, too much of a reject to attend school regularly. Silently, he thanked fate for making this music thing work out. Michael was pretty sure he would have gone crazy at a 9 to 5 job.

Yawning, he pulled a beanie over his bed head and began walking down the street. As he lived in LA, naturally it wasn’t very far from his apartment to the next starbucks. Half a mile down the street and two street crossings later, he slipped into the glass-walled store. Michael was lucky. The morning inrush seemed to be just over and the coffee shop was relatively empty. Pulling out his phone, he joined the queue. He had just revined an edit of Ashton on stage, murdering his drums, when the whispering reached his non-earphone-occupied ear.

“Oh my god, you are right, that’s him!”

“I am so tweeting this! Quick, move a bit to the side, so I can take a picture. #coffeefortwo”

“Oh, you have to tag Luke! The Cake shippers will be so bitter.”

“Guys, do you think he’s here as well?”

A dreamy sigh. “A coffee date, how romantic would that be?”

Michael hadn’t been sure they were talking about him at first. Upon hearing Luke’s name, that changed. Keeping his expression as blank as possible, Michael closed the app and listened with both ears.

“Do you think we should approach him?”

“You go first!”

“Cowards, you two. Watch me.”

Not two seconds later, Michael was tapped on the shoulder. Ripping his remaining earphone out of his ear, he turned around. In front of him stood a girl. She couldn’t be much older than sixteen. Behind her, what Michael supposed to be her friends were clinging to each other, looking up at him out of wide eyes. One of them was a boy with screaming pink hair - Michael smiled “me too, buddy, just two months ago” - and the other a girl, her blonde hair opposing the raven hair of the hispanic girl in front of him.

“Yes?”

“Are you Michael Clifford?” The hispanic girl asked him, her eyes narrowed.

Michael nodded and the blonde girl let out a squeak, turning bright red when Michael raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

The hispanic girl was beaming when he turned back towards her.

“Wow, hi! I love you.” She clasped a hand over her mouth while the pink-haired boy gave her a mortified slap on the arm. “I am sorry.” She rambled out. “It’s just - you’re part of my OTP and I’m still not sure this is really happening.”

Michael had only understood half of that sentence, so he tried for a friendly smile. “Can I help you?”

“Can we take a picture? I’m a fan.”

Michael was relieved he could help her. The bright red colour of her head did start to worry him.

“Sure!” He grinned and opened his arms. “A hug as well?”

Ten minutes later, Michael had taken pictures with all three of the teenagers, had recorded seven video messages to friends and the blonde girl had been sobbing into his shirt for the past three minutes.

“I am so sorry for her.” The pink-haired boy kept apologising. His name was Tristan, apparently.

“Ah.” Michael waved him off. “It’s fine. She’s cute.”

That send the blonde girl into another sobbing fit. The hispanic girl was intently watching him, gnawing on her lip.

“Can I ask you something?” She burst out, eventually.

Michael nodded.

“Is Lichael real?”

“Lucía!” Tristan hissed.

“I’m sorry.” Michael frowned. The way she asked the question made it seem like her whole future happiness depended on the answer. “I don’t know what that means. What is Lichael?”

To his surprise, that caused not only Lucía, but also her two other friends to blush.

“Uhm.” Georgia, the blonde girl in his arms, twitched.

“You don’t know?” The boy asked.

Michael shook his head.

“Oh.” Lucía rubbed the back of her head. “Now, this is awkward.”

“What’s up?” Michael asked.

After another few moments of uncomfortable silence and look exchanging between the teenagers later, and eventually, Lucía sighed and pulled out her phone. “Okay, I’m gonna do it.” She looked at Michael. “It’s best if we show you.”

And with that she turned the phone screen towards him. Michael took the mobile phone from her. Lichael turned out to be a twitter hashtag. Michael felt dumb the moment he saw it. Of course. Lichael, the contracted version of his and Luke’s name. Michael he kind of liked the idea. What he saw, however, he did not.

The worst were the photos. There were screenshots of Luke’s and his twitter interactions, pictures of Michael pulling Luke out of the crowd on their first day at vidcon and even a few, blurry zoomed in shots of Michael leaning Luke against the wall. Then shots of Calum and Luke at the side of the stage at Michael’s gig, his and Luke’s hug after. Every single public moment they had had so far, uploaded for the public to see. The whole ordeal made Michael’s head spin, and anger boil in his blood. He felt like these moments had been stolen from him, from them. These girls and boy had no right to see them.

But then Michael knew better than that. Luke and him were both persona that had become popular through social media. They had put themselves out there in the first place. He couldn’t blame a couple of kids for seeing a connection and liking it, “shipping them” as Tristan explained to him, when Michael himself wished for nothing more than it to be true. And if it ever were to become true, Michael figured, having the support of fans would be very fortunate.

“Wow.” He said as he handed the phone back. “Didn’t expect that one.”

“But you’re cool with it?” Lucía asked. “You don’t seem too put off.”

“I am cool with it.” Michael smiled. “I have a question, though?”

“Ask away.” Georgia piped up. By now, she had extracted herself from his arms.

“Anything.” Tristan reassured him. Lucía seemed to overwhelmed to speak.

Michael felt the corners of his mouth tilt upwards. “There was another word that I read over and over in the tag. What is Cake?”

*

As soon as Michael had jumbled his front door open - no easy task considering the two iced lattes occupying his right hand, he was greeted by loud music and a pyjama-clad Luke, standing on his couch table, passionately singing into the remote. Luke’s eyes were closed as he sang and Michael couldn’t help but take advantage of that. Stifling his laughter with his free hand, he leaned against the door frame.

“Since I've come on home, well my body's been a mess. And I've missed your ginger hair.” Luke stretched out a hand, dramatically. “And the way you like to dress. Won't you come on over?” He fell to his knees. “Stop making a fool out of me!”

Seconds from bursting, Michael placed the coffee on the ground and jumped the few metres over. Belting off the top of his lungs, he chimed in. “Why don't you come on over, Valerie?”

The possible VCD was worth the mortified look on Luke’s face as his eyes flew open. “Oh my god.” He mouthed, burying his face in the next moment. Laughing, Michael took the remote that had clattered to the ground and shut off the TV.

“Hey, Luke, no reason to be ashamed. You have a great voice.” Michael told him, earnestly.

Luke merely groaned. “Let me just die here.”

“That’d be a pity. I brought you coffee.”

That was enough to make Luke perk up. He looked at Michael through the spaces between his fingers, sniffing hopefully. “Coffee?”

“Coffee.” Michael confirmed, holding the iced latté out for him.

All pretend embarrassment forgotten, Luke took the cup from him, his eyes fluttering close as he took the first sip. “Heaven, thank you!”

“Mhm.” Michael pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Come here for a moment, would ya?”

Pliantly, Luke came up behind him. “Okay, be excited. Now pretend you’re cool.”

“I am cool.” Luke told him once Michael had taken a couple selfies.

“Yeah.” Michael smiled at him. “You are.”

Luke’s cheeks tinted pink and Michael looked back down on this phone. “In any case I am instagramming this.”

“Oh.” The concerned undertone to the noise Luke had uttered made Michael look up. “What? What’s wrong?”

For a horrible second, Michael thought Luke might not want to be seen on a photo with him. It turned out to be the other way around.

“Nothing, it’s just uhm are you sure?”

Michael furrowed his brows. “Huh?”

Luke looked down, his fingers curling around the straw of his drink, squeezing. “That you want to be on a photo with me.” The blonde boy mumbled out. “Because I’m you know…” Luke started tugging on a chipped piece of golden nail polish.

“Luke.” Michael said. “Luke, look at me.”

Luke gargled a few incoherent syllables, his eyes staying glued to the ground.

Michael frowned. With a huff, he opened his instagram app. Purposely choosing the photo where him and Luke were closest, he uploaded it.

“OMG!” He read the caption out loud as he typed it. “LICHAEL AF!”

Instantly, Luke looked up. “L-Lichael?” He asked. “You know about that?”

“I met a few fans. They enlightened me.”

“I’m sorry.” Luke said. “They shouldn’t- I shouldn’t-”

“Don’t be sorry.” Michael said, determinedly, pocketing his phone. Grinning, he wrapped a hand around Luke’s chin, forced the other boy to look up. “I have a war to win. No way is Cake realer than Lichael.”

Luke laughed surprised and a whole lot embarrassed, still. “You know about that one too?”

“Mhm, yes.” Michael nodded. Slowly, he leaned forward, let his voice drop low as he pressed his lips against the spot beneath Luke’s ear lobe. “Personally, I like Lichael a whole lot better, though.”

And with that, he took a step back and sucked the straw of his coffee back into his mouth. “Now, c’mon. I promised Ashton we would be at his around ten.”


	9. Blush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning! The t-slur appears in the end of this chapter. 
> 
> Stay safe xx

The second day of vidcon was nearly as hectic as the first. They met fans in the morning whilst walking around the grounds. It never reached the expanse of a mob again, but they did spend significant amounts of time staying at one place until everyone got a hug and a picture. Luke looked guilty for it, but Michael calmed him. A good portion of people approaching them belonged to Michael and Ashton’s fans after all.

After Michael’s instagram photo and their general appearance at the convention together, the Lichael trend seemed to be spreading. Michael realised so when a girl asked for a picture of him and Luke together before she wedged herself between them. Michael promised her to follow her back on twitter later.

After lunch Luke was supposed to hold a panel together with some of his beauty guru friends. They were picked up by staff members of the venue in golf carts.

“Don’t even think about it, Calum.” The blond boy said as he climbed into his cart.

The raven-haired boy pouted.

“I didn’t even do anything yet.” Calum mumbled, flopping down next to him.

Luke sighed. “Emphasis is on the yet, isn’t it?”

Calum grinned. “Maybe.”

"Calum." Luke whined.

"Aw, c'mon Lukey! I haven't done anything since we landed. I have to keep up my street rep."

"You don't have a street rep."

"Wow." Calum breathed out. "Rude."

They were interrupted by a giggling Ashton, wedging his face in between theirs from the outside seats. “Just so that is clear. I received my quota of make-up talk at my sister’s tenth to fourteenth birthdays. So whatever you’ve got planned.” Ashton turned to Calum, their faces close enough for his curls to tickle Calum’s temple. “I’m game.”

Calum beamed, the devilish glint appearing in his eyes that reminded Luke of high school, skipped lessons and a frog in Parker Chase's locker. “Very good.”

Luke turned away then, before he could get sucked into their shenanigans.

“You nervous?” Michael asked him once they had reached the venue.

“A little.” Luke admitted, biting his lip, uncaring that he bit off a good portion of his red lipstick.

“You’re gonna do great.” Michael squeezed his arm, his eyes twinkling. They seemed almost grey in the sun light.

Luke relaxed, leaning into Michael for only a moment. The older boy rubbed his shoulder.

“You’re right.” Luke said, eventually, disentangling himself from Michael’s embrace. “Let’s do this.”

*

They were lead into the backstage area by a member of the convention staff. The room was big, filled with more than two dozen people. Half a dozen of them wore the same yellow lanyard Luke was wearing, the rest shared Michael, Calum and Ashton’s blue ones.

Their entry was followed by a lot of hugging, exchanging of compliments and beauty talk on a level Michael simply couldn’t follow. Soon, he left Luke to be with his friends and colleagues and retreated to a corner of the room. Michael was grateful none of the people here, gurus or friends, were too cool to wear their lanyards around their necks. Michael had forgotten almost all of their names upon hearing them, hence had to glimpse at their name tags every single time someone tried to struck up a conversation with him.

At least there was free food in the VIP area. Calum, smart as he was, had secured himself a bean bag chair next to the buffet. Ashton had positioned himself a few feet away, attempted to throw grapes into Calum’s mouth from the distance. Michael watched them for a couple of minutes.

“Luke Hemmings?”

The question came from a stubby dude in his mid-thirties, the headset around his neck disclosing in what function he was here.

Luke looked up from where he was talking to a gorgeous black girl with rainbow strands in her afro. “Yes?”

Ashton’s last grape missed Calum for a good metre as the raven-haired boy stood up.

“You’re up for the Buzzfeed interview. Follow me.”

Michael was moving before he had made the conscious decision. For a moment his eyes met Calum’s. The other boy held his gaze, coffee-coloured irides burning. Then Calum inclined his head, fell back onto his bean bag and motioned Ashton to go on.

Michael smiled as he threw an arm around Luke’s shoulder. “Need back-up?”

The blonde boy smiled at him. Though he was visibly excited, Michael could see the nervousness underneath. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

They were lead into the hallway. Michael swallowed when he saw the camera team.

"Luke Hemmings, aka LukeDoesThings, it's so nice to meet you!" The interviewer greeted them, grabbing Luke's hand and shaking it enthusiastically. She was tiny, merely half as tall as Luke, but Michael saw a spark of fierceness behind her bubbly demeanor.

Luke beamed back. "Hi."

"I'm Jodie. Are you excited for your panel?"

Luke nodded and began explaining what topics they had planned and who he did it with. Michael smiled at himself as he watched the blonde boy talk. Luke tackled every question with convincing ease. There was barely any hint of nervousness in his voice left. Michael was glad he had an excuse to watch Luke speak, the way his darkened lashes fluttered against his cheeks when he blinked, his nose scrunched up and light pink lips smeared their colour against each other. Michael fell in a daze, all sound tuning into a single static. It was only interrupted once when a whooping Ashton zoomed past them, Calum screaming as he struggled to not run any of the camera people over with the golf cart they were hanging off.

"Amazing, amazing!" Jodie replied after Luke had given her a quick history of his youtube career. "Now, for the last part we have a challenge for you."

Luke paled, swallowed and Michael wanted to growl at the lady. If she would force him to remove his make-up, he-

"We dare you to do the dirty dancing lift with the person to your left!"

Michael deflated. Oh. That wasn't as bad. He was tempted to reconsider quickly, when suddenly there was a camera shoved in his face and Jodie dragged him by the arm. Helplessly, Michael stumbled towards Luke. Damn, this woman had a death grip. Michael was about to complain, tell her off and everyone that there was no way in hell he would do this. But then he saw Luke's face. The blond boy looked mortified, waves of sorry radiating from his look.

Michael plastered a grin onto his face and began rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. "You ready, Baby?"

It worked. Within the blink of an eye, Luke visibly relaxed, cracked into a grin. "You can bet on it, Johnny."

"Awesome!" Jodie cheered in her American accent. "Luke you might want to take a few steps back to get a running start. Hold on a few while the camera gets adjusted, yeah?"

Luke did as he was told, while Michael broadened his stance, bent his knees a little.

"You ready to go?" Jodie asked him, niftily swerving around the fact that she obviously had no clue who he or his name was. Michael nodded.

"Okay, Luke, go!"

Luke did take a running start, his long legs carrying him swiftly towards Michael. He jumped and Michael caught him. The impact was more forceful than Michael had expected, however. Before he even had a chance to lift Luke in the air, they were ungracefully tumbling to the ground. The back of Michael's head hit the ground with a hard thud.

"Ouch." Michael groaned as Luke broke into a fit of giggles on top of him. Luke could laugh. He had landed on top Michael afterall. Michael winced when the other boy's elbow digged into the soft flesh of his tummy as Luke scrambled into a straddling position. Michael used the opportunity to sit up. The moment his upper body was upright, long arms slung around his middle. Immediately, Michael reciprocated the hug, wrapped his arms tightly around Luke's neck.

"Hi." Luke sighed into his ear.

"Hey." Michael whispered back.

"That was very embarrassing."

Michael laughed softly. "True. Do you care?"

"Mhm." Luke hummed, snuggling further into Michael. "Not at all."

"Good, me neither."

The blond boy buried his face in Michael's neck and Michael couldn't help but think that this wasn't so bad afterall.

They stayed like this, ignoring any of Jodie's attempts to get their attention. Eventually, she gave up and Michael could hear her make an uneasy joke about how Luke obviously got busy. Then one of the production managers yelled cut.

Michael waited until they had packed away the cameras and lighting equipment before he began disentangling himself from Luke.

"That was fun. Thanks, Jodie!" Michael exclaimed once he and Luke had scrambled to their feet. Before she could answer, he was already pulling Luke down the hallway, smiling and waving excitedly.

"Idiot." Luke muttered under his breath, politely embarrassed. He didn't let go of Michael's hand.

*

They decided to go to the movies that night. Originally, it had been all four of them. That plan had dissolved, though, when they had found Calum and Ashton after Luke’s panel near a fountain outside, golf cart discarded a couple of metres away, an empty sixpack of beer between them.

Michael couldn’t complain. It was nice, having Luke to himself for once. The burst of cold AC air made his cheeks tint such a pretty shade of pink when they entered the cinema. Or that could have been the powder blush. Michael wasn’t really sure. Luke had gone all out tonight, and Michael liked to imagine it was for him, the smoky eyes and nude lipstick. That and the combination of oversized flannel and skinny jeans made Luke look like some kind of ethereal pop punk being, reigning outside the realms of gender.

“Michael?” Luke snapped his fingers in front of his face.

Michael tried to blink his Luke-induced daze away. “Mhm, sorry. What?”

The blonde boy’s expression turned solemn. “I have an important question.”

“Okay.” Michael wished his heart wouldn’t pound as hard at that.

Luke cracked into a smile. “Salty or sweet popcorn?”

Michael exhaled. “I prefer butter actually.”

Luke beamed. “Buttery popcorn it is. I’ll go get it while you get the tickets.”

With that, the blonde boy took off. Shaking his head, Michael joined the queue for the ticket stand. A good five minutes later, Luke returned. Smiling triumphantly, Michael waved their tickets at him. That was until he saw the expression on the other boy’s face. Luke looked destroyed, all joy in his eyes shattered. They were shining suspiciously, his hands trembling.

Hastily, Michael bridged the remaining metre between them. “Oh my god, Lukey. What happened?”

Confused and slightly panicky, Michael searched the area Luke was returning from. Michael knew as soon as he caught sight of a group of teenagers, forming a circle close to the popcorn stand. They couldn’t be older than sixteen, all of them. Michael didn’t need more than half a minute to classify them, with their backwards snapbacks, basketball shorts and Jordans. He could also see the sneers on their faces.

“Was it those guys? Did they say something to you?”

“‘s nothing” Luke mumbled, not following the direction Michael was looking in. He didn’t need to. .

Michael frowned. “Luke...”

The blond boy looked down, tried to inconspicuously wipe his eyes.

“What did they do?” Michael could feel his blood boil hotter by the second, but he knew that rage wasn’t the way to get Luke to talk. As gentle as he could, he began rubbing Luke’s arm. “Tell me. It will be okay. Just tell me, Luke.”

The soft approach seemed to work.

“They, uhm.” Luke looked up, blinking rapidly. “They called me a-” Luke’s breathing became ragged, his throat closing up around the slur. “A tranny. They called me a t-tranny.”

There was a moment where Michael felt nothing but pure disbelief, his eyes flying to the group of boys. Then his rage returned, sparked from every one of his muscles, setting his whole body under electricity.

“I will kill them.”

“No, Michael!”

Michael went to walk over, ready to rip every single one of the boys a new one, but Luke held him back.

“Don’t, please. It’s not worth the hassle.”

Michael glared at the boys. One of them saw it, alerted the others. Taking a stance, Michael bared his teeth.

“I don’t think so. What they did is not okay. ”

"It's, it is okay, Mikey. We should go." The blond boy tugged on his hand, tried to move him towards the exit. Michael didn't yield. His mind was reeling, the slur the guys had thrown at Luke replaying over and over. Eventually, Michael turned his head, caught Luke's gaze with his. Beautiful, the other boy was so unearthly beautiful. Luke was a god among peasants. It was blasphemic, the way those boys thought they had the right to question that, try to tear the blonde boy apart.

"Hey, Luke?"

"Yeah?"

Michael challenged him with a wide smile. "I fucking love you."

And with that, he pulled Luke against him and smashed their lips together.


	10. Powder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The [underrated youtube cover band](http://www.youtube.com/user/Room94Online) of this chapter is one of my personal favourites. They turn pop songs punk and it is _amazing._

Luke’s eyes were closed when Michael pulled away. And Luke knew he probably looked like an idiot with his mouth ajar and stunned expression, but he couldn’t help it because  _holy shit_ Michael had just kissed him.

“Oh my god.”

Luke’s eyes fluttered open. Michael was looking at him, his expression mortified.

“Well.” Luke felt his lips tug into a grin. “Normally Luke is enough, but if you insist.”

It worked. Michael’s horrified demeanor melted, was replaced by a fond shake of his head and a muttered “Idiot”.

“An idiot you just kissed.” Luke dimpled.

“Yeah, well.” Michael placed a hand akimbo. “If that makes me an idiot as well, I better get used to it. ‘Cause I plan on doing it again.”

Luke smiled, took a step closer. “Nothing greater than a fool in love.”

Instead of an answer, Michael closed the distance between them. After a short moment of the two of them just inhaling each other’s breath, Michael slotted their mouths back together.

Kissing Michael, Luke figured, definitely belonged to the nicer things in life. The older boy’s lips were soft against his, Michael’s mouth tasting like mint and boy and addiction. It was captivating, made goosebumps erupt on Luke’s skin. A low moan escaped him when Michael nudged his mouth open with his tongue. The fingers he had wrapped around Luke’s neck were burning marks into his skin. Luke wanted to drown in this, sink deeper and deeper into Michael until he was too far gone to ever be pulled back to the surface. Eventually, he needed air though.

They were both breathing heavily when Luke pulled away.

His eyes were still closed as he asked. “What-” He could still taste it. Luke didn’t know if he wanted to savour it or wipe it off when Luke swiped his tongue over his lips. “What does this mean?”

He was scared to ask, he was. But he had to before this could go any farther, before Michael did something the older boy would regret later. Luke wasn’t sure he would be able to cope should Michael ever feel that way.

When he looked up, Luke found nothing but gentle determination and adoration in Michael’s eyes.

“It can mean whatever you want it to mean, to be. As far as I’m concerned I can just tell you that I meant it when I said that I love you. I love you. I love you more than is appropriate, probably. Have since I saw your face on my screen for the first time. Also I want to kiss you again. Lots of times, if you’d allow.”

Luke bit his lip. It was a weak attempt at holding in the massive grin that was about to spread over his face. “I’d love that.”

Michael beamed. Then he pulled Luke into a bone-crushing hug.

“And I want to kiss you again, too.” Luke told the fabric covering Michael’s shoulder. He tilted his head upwards, grinning. Michael obliged with a smile.

“C’mon now.” Michael said once they had broken for air. He intertwined their fingers. “We still have a movie to watch.”

*

It took about ten minutes into the movie for reality to catch up to them. In hindsight, Luke should have known it, should have known that life simply wasn’t as kind to him as that it would let him have this one great thing.

“Oh shit.” Hastily, Luke shook Michael’s arm off his shoulder, scrambled to snatch up his phone before the ringtone could disturb the people around them any further.

“Hello?”

“What the fuck, Luke?!”

“Calum?”

“Yes, it’s me, you godforsaken dumbass.”

Luke’s stomach sank. Calum’s tone was gruff, sharp. It had been felt years since Calum had last spoken to him like that. “What’s wrong?”

“What is- have you checked twitter lately?

“Uh, no.” Luke shifted in his seat. “Why?” Luke did have a suspicion why. Nonetheless, he clung to that last sliver of hope inside him.

“You, my friend, and Michael are all over the internet. Kissing.”

Luke let his eyes fall shut. Inhale, exhale. Don’t panic. He could feel Michael stir beside him. The concerned hand Michael placed on his arm burned its way right down to Luke’s bone. “No.”

“Yes. Oh yes.” Luke didn’t have to see his best friend to know his nose was twitching right in this moment. “I’m not going to even talk about the fact that I had to see this for the first time on the internet. This is bad, Luke, okay? Not only for you, but also for him. Whether you ever wanted whatever it is you two have going on to be public or not, it is now. I suggest you come home, so we can figure out how to fix this.”

“Cal.”

“Hurry, Luke.”

The line went dead and Luke fell back into his seat.

Not a second later, Michael was on him. “What’s wrong, Luke?”

Luke looked at him. So much happiness in Michael’s green irides. He was so fucking happy and unbothered and Luke had to ruin it.

“I’m sorry.” He choked out and bolted.

“Luke!” Michael called after him.

It didn’t stop him. Luke knew Michael would follow. The older boy caught up to him the moment Luke had reached the doors leading out of the cinema building.

“Luke!” Michael called again, wrapping his hand around Luke’s wrist, holding him back.

“I’m sorry.” And because he needed it, and he was selfish like that, Luke let Michael wrap him up into a hug, clung to him. “Somebody must have taken a picture, I don’t- I am so sorry.”

“Luke, what the hell are you talking about?”

“They know. They all know. About us, I mean.”

“Hold on.” Michael pulled away, but kept a hand on Luke’s underarm. “What?”

“Our kiss is all over the internet. Twitter, tumblr, fucking Pinterest if Calum’s yelling is anything to go by.”

“Oh.” And then Michael realised. “ _Oh._ ”

“I am sorry.”

Michael rubbed a hand over his face. “Oh man.”

“Sorry. I’m so sorry.” Luke felt like someone was seizing his throat. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.”

Luke looked up, sniffed. “W-what?”

“I’m not.” Michael smiled. Luke could see the emotion beneath, fear and anger and something Luke couldn’t decipher. “I’m not sorry. I really like you, Luke. And as far as I’m concerned everyone can know. Fuck, they can print it in the papers for all I care. I care about you.”

It was too good to be true. Luke had to ask. “Are you sure?”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Don’t be stupid.”

It was so familiar, so Michael that Luke couldn’t help but smile up at him. "Thank you."

“You’re welcome.”

“I love you. Is that weird?”

Michael shrugged. He sang, to the tune one of Luke’s favourite Fall Out Boy song. “Let’s be weird together. We can stay young forever.”

*

Michael's eyes were trained on the hand holding the brush, his irides following Luke's every movement. Fascinated, Michael watched the blond boy as he framed his eyes in black, the contrast making his pale eyes gleam.

"You always do either your eyes or your lips. Doing both makes it look overdone." Luke explained to him, completely engulfed in his beauty guru persona.

"Mhm."

"I like doing my eyes more for normal days. Lipstick makes you fierce and I gotta save that for special occasions."

"Mhm."

"Michael?"

"Mhm."

"Are you even listening?"

Michael perked up the moment Luke stopped moving, raised an eyebrow at him. "Mh- what yes sorry, I was listening. Either eyes or lips, never both."

Luke sighed, but they both were aware of the fond tone to it. Michael smiled in return. He let himself drop forward from where he was sitting Indian style on the ground, caught himself with his hands. One he splayed out on the ground for balance, the other he used to cup Luke's cheek.

"Sorry." He breathed against the other boy's cheek. "You're such a pretty distraction, I lost my focus."

Michael loved the way it didn't take more than such few, carefully chosen words to turn Luke into a spluttering mess. Luke's cheek turned warm beneath Michael's fingertips as he rambled his opposition.

"Don't even try to fight me on this, babe."

Luke bit his lip, flicking his gaze up at Michael, then back down. "We should go, like before the sun disappears and the lighting goes bad."

"Sure." Michael grinned. "Whatever you want."

He stole a kiss before, though. Luke didn't seem to mind.

Calum was lounging on the couch when they emerged from the bathroom. “Finally, I thought you two were doing stuff in there or something.”

“Calm down.” Michael said, no real heat behind his words, while Luke tried to not so subtly hide his blush by setting up the last of camera equipment. Once he was done, he lowered himself on the couch cushion he had stolen from Michael’s sofa solely for that purpose.

It didn’t take long to film the introduction. Luke was a professional when it came to his videos and years of experience cleansed any nervousness from his face. Michael was glad it was that way. Like this he could try and channel some of Luke’s calm.

“Hoi gois!” Luke did his signature wave. “Today it’s time for a challenge video and because those would be pretty boring alone, I invited some rad people to join me.”

On cue, Calum dove into the frame. They wrestled for a couple of seconds before eventually Luke had scrubbed his hair back into place and Calum had folded himself next to him, chewing his gum at the camera, grinning. He too, Michael had to admit, was excellent at what he was doing. A lot less rambunctious, Michael flopped down on Luke’s other side. He waved tentatively into the camera. Vlogs and lifestyle videos were foreign ground to him. He was used to being filmed. But usually he was making music when that happened. And whenever he was making music, there wasn’t anything else he registred.

“For those of you who don’t know him yet, this is Michael.”

Michael gave the camera a thumbs up. “Whaddup.”

“Everybody knows me.” Calum preened from the other side.

“Michael,” Luke continued, “was so nice as to granting me and Cali asylum while we are in the states for vidcon.”

“So nice.” Calum sighed dreamily. Michael snorted.

“In any case you should check out his youtube covers. Link’s in the description.”

Michael beamed.

“Now let’s get started.” Luke rubbed his hands.

The challenge consisted of twenty questions regarding Luke fans had submitted that Calum and Michael had to answer. Unsurprisingly, Calum managed to save himself the lead quickly. Michael knew Luke well, but he simply couldn’t compete with twenty years of friendship.

“Okay, last question." Luke pulled a serious face. Michael could already hear the dramatic background music Luke would edit in later. "What is my favourite brand of make-up?”

“Shiseido!” Calum yelled.

Michael cleared his throat. “Maybe it’s Maybelline?”

Luke dimpled at him, but mouthed sorry before turning back to the camera, turning around the card he had prewritten the answer on. “It’s Shiseido.”

“Annihilated.” Calum cheered while Michael groaned. He prayed people wouldn’t notice the tense set to his shoulders. Almost.

“Aw, babe.” Luke cooed and let the cards drop to the ground in favour of slinging an arm around Michael’s shoulder.

“I won.” Calum cheered.

“You’re a winner, too.” Luke told Michael.

Now. He grinned. “True. Calum might be a better best friend, but I’m a better boyfriend.”

“The best.” Luke confirmed before slotting their mouths together, long enough to erase any doubt what it meant, short enough to not make it obscene. It was taking back control.

“Okay, guys, I think we can make the cut here.”

Michael grinned into Luke’s mouth, flipped Calum off over the blond boy’s shoulder. Giggling, he let himself fall back, pulling Luke with him. If he was to tell the world who he’d given the best guarded part of him, he might as well enjoy it.


	11. Concealer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to steal my brother's laptop to write this chapter, [help with my bail?](http://mikeykink.tumblr.com/post/124667407441/mikeymylove-mikeykink-i-make-this-post-with-a)
> 
> Disclaimer: Boys touching other boys.

They watched the fans’ reaction to the video like they would have watched a movie, all of them sprawled on Michael’s sofa, Luke sprawled on top of Michael for lack of space reasons. At least Luke claimed it to be that way.

Michael savoured it. Happily, he wrapped his arms around Luke and buried his nose in the mop of blond hair. The scent of lavender and sandalwood shampoo was oddly calming.

“I can’t believe this.” Ashton kept muttering from the other end of the couch. Michael understood. He himself felt nauseous every time Calum pressed the refresh button of the TV remote and the digits on his TV screen rose by another couple of hundred, thousand. Twitter, Youtube, even his Instagram follower count exploded.

The feedback was massive. It was like a repeat of what had happened with their cover once Luke had shouted it out. Only this time, it was Michael’s persona that gained the attention, and Ashton and their band along with it.

“I think your public DTR just paid both of our rents for the next month.” Ashton said as soon as Calum and Luke had disappeared into the kitchen to get another round of beer.

Michael nodded. “It’s crazy.”

“It is.” Ashton rubbed his chin. “I mean I’m not complaining, though.”

“Yeah.” Michael smiled as Luke reemerged from the kitchen. “I’m not complaining either.”

They put on a movie after that and soon Ashton called it a night. Calum was already half asleep as he followed the curly-haired boy to Michael’s front door. As soon as he had closed the door behind them, Michael turned towards Luke.

Michael barely had a second of time before Luke was kissing him, downright attacking him, their mouths crashing. Michael laughed and pulled away as their teeth clashed. “You planning on pummeling me or something?”

Luke just grunted and reconnected their lips. “Less than half a week left. Need to make the most of it.” He mumbled.

Michael felt a peng of dread in his gut. Luke was right. Luke and Calum would fly back home soon. And then it would be months of long distance before the next time one of them could visit the other. Michael decided to push the thoughts away before the looming feeling of anguish could pull him under.

Instead he adopted Luke’s tactic, shifted his focus to the now, to the feeling of Luke’s tongue in his mouth and hands in his hair. Groaning, Michael sucked down on Luke’s bottom lip and pushed his hands under the other boy’s shirt. Luke’s skin was smooth beneath his fingertips, most probably smelled like the citrus shower gel Luke had brought.

Michael didn’t know how long they stood in the middle of his hallway like this, pressing against each other, roaming each other’s bodies. As soon as Luke let his mouth travel to Michael’s neck, the older boy began steering them towards his bedroom door. There were too many clothes for Michael’s taste.

He kicked the bedroom door shut behind them with his foot and pushed his hands all the way up. Luke eagerly lifted his arms and Michael discarded his shirt, then moved to do the same with his own. They managed the rest of the way to the bed. A small laugh escaped the blond boy as they fell onto the mattress.Luke looked ethereal like this, with his hair fanned out on the sheets and happy lines etched into the corners of his mouth. It still blew Michael’s mind that he could have this now, have Luke now. Yet, at the same time, it felt like he had known Luke for years, _loved_ him for years instead of having become official yesterday. Fuck, they had only become official yesterday.

Groaning, Michael dipped back down, peppered the side of Luke’s face in kisses. Whatever creme Luke used on his face left a stale, chemical taste on Michael's tongue, but Michael couldn’t be bothered. He bit down on the indent above Luke's collarbone and the other boy whimpered. Eagerly, Michael let his mouth travel further down Luke's heaving chest, making sure to leave some nice marks before he scrambled further up the bed again.

Luke was already waiting for him, pulling Michael in the moment he was close enough for their mouths to reconnect. It was then that he felt something dig into his hip. _Oh_.

Tentatively, Michael placed a hand on the other boy's bulge and squeezed. Luke's reaction was immediate. With a low gasp, his mouth slid off Michael's as his head fell back. The veins of Luke's neck became more prominent as his muscles strained, his eyes screwed shut as he bucked into Michael's hand.

"This okay?" Michael asked, pushing a few astray strands out of Luke's eyes with his left hand while he kept palming Luke through his jeans with the other.

Luke nodded, a silent moan falling from his lips as Michael pressed his thumb down on the outline of his head. Smiling, Michael cupped the side of his boyfriend's face and kissed him again. Michael could stay forever like this, he decided, Luke’s body beneath him and Michael on a mission to taste every inch of it. Feeling a bit mischievous, Michael bit down on the blond boy’s bottom lip.

Luke whined and suddenly went rigid. Michael was about to ask what was wrong when he felt it. With wide eyes, he sat up into a straddling position on top of Luke’s thighs, lifting his hand from the now damp fabric. “Did you just-”

Luke threw his hands over his face, effectively muffling the embarrassed yelp he uttered.

Michael couldn’t help but laugh at the adorableness of it all.

“Stop laughing at me.” Luke wailed, spread his fingers to peek through the spaces between them.

Giggling, Michael leaned down. “You are adorable.”

Luke shook his head, his cheeks reddening even further. “I just came after like five minutes of making out. I feel like a fifteen year-old watching porn for the first time. ”

“Mhm, no.” Michael hummed. “If this was a porn I’d have you on all fours now, screaming my name.”

Luke gasped, the blush spreading down to his neck and Michael laughed. He stopped the moment he noticed the shiny state of Luke’s eyes.

“Hey, hey, babe, no, look at me.” Michael encircled Luke’s wrists and pulled his hands off his face, forced the younger boy to look at him. “It’s fine, yeah? It happens. I take it as a compliment, really.”

Luke bit his lip. “Really?"

“Yes, really.” Michael smiled, pecked his boyfriend on the lips reassuringly. “Please, don’t ever feel pressured to be sexual with me, okay? That thing about having you on all fours was a joke. We can take this as slow as you need it to be.”

Luke looked at him for a long time before the corners of his mouth curled upwards. “You’re way too good for me.” He whispered.

Funny, Michael thought as he lowered himself down and rolled them on the side, their legs intertwined, noses almost bumping, I could say the very same thing.

“Sleep?” Michael suggested.

Luke nodded, yawning and kicking off his ruined jeans. “Sounds perfect.”

Humming, Michael did the same. He knew Luke was fine when the blond boy snuggled against his chest. Happily, Michael pulled the duvet over them.

*

Michael woke up to Ashton throwing dirty socks at him.

“What the-” Prying the horribly smelling fabric off his face, Michael squinted his eyes open.

“Psst.” Ashton waved from where he was hovering in Michael’s door frame. "Can we talk?"

Michael glared at him, mouthing a more than disgruntled. “What?!”

“Living room.” Ashton mouthed back, then turned on his heels and disappeared.

Michael couldn’t believe this was his life. Careful to not wake up the sleeping boy next to him, Michael crawled out of his bed. After a short moment of contemplation, he decided that yes he had the decency to put on some pants. As soon as he had retrieved a pair of sweatpants from the pile of clothes on his floor, he made a beeline for the door. Quietly, he pulled it shut behind him before he stumbled into the living room.

“What the hell, Ash! It’s like arse o’clock in the morning.”

“Eight thirty.” Ashton dimpled from his place on Michael’s couch.

“As I said.” Michael grunted, slumping down next to his best friend. “Arse o’clock.”

“You’ll survive.” Shooting him a sympathetic smile, Ashton patted his arm.

Michael merely grunted. "What's up anyways?"

As if on cue Ashton's giggly behaviour fell and he became serious. "We need to talk about your newfound relationship."

"Okay." Michael sat up a little straighter. He could tell by Ashton's tone this wasn't going to be fun.

"First of all I wanna say that I am happy for you, I am. You really seem to love the kid and that's great."

Michael tilted his head. "Thank you."

"Apart from that the attention he generates us is also pretty cool. He gets us the attention of the public. But I am not sure you are aware of how much and how far that goes."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that your relationship is public, Mikey. The twitter hashtag thing? All the comments on our videos asking for Luke? I'm just- I'm worried, man. I am not sure that is healthy."

"Luke's famous." Michael hated how irritated his voice sounded. This wasn't Ashton's fault. His best friend was just the one to burst his bubble. "That doesn't mean our love is not real."

"Wo, hey hey!" Ashton raised his hands in defense. "That's not at all what I'm trying to say."

Michael deflated, motioned Ashton to continue on.

Ashton smiled, but there was no mirth in his eyes. "I am just saying that everyone knows, and everyone is going to judge."

"I don't care about other people." Michael crossed his arms in front of his chest, pressing his lips into a determined line. "I care about Luke."

Ashton looked at him for a long time. Michael didn't yield and eventually, Ashton nodded, rubbing a hand over his face. "The reason why I'm here this early is because I got a call. On the other end was a guy, said he was Bob Becker's assitant."

"Wait, you mean-"

"Yes. Fearless's Becker."

"Oh my god!" Michael clasped a hand over his mouth. "Oh my god, holy shit fuck, oh my god!"

"Hey, don't swear." Ashton grinned at him. "They said they want to meet us. Get to know us and see if we connect."

"Ashton." Michael was pretty sure he was runninng low on oxygen. "Ashton Fletcher Irwin, are you telling me that Fearless fucking Records are interested in us?"

"Uhm." Ashton's hazel eyes sparkled. "Pretty much?"

"Oh my god!" Laughing like a maniac, Michael tackled his best friend into a hug. "This is not real! Fuck, Ashy! This is our dream!"

Ashton cuddled him back for about half a minute before he shoved Michael off, giggling. Eventually, his laughter died, though and suddenly, Michael knew. The bits of information fell into place like puzzle pieces in his mind.

He felt a cold hand seize his heart, clutching it. Michael knew what Ashton was going to say next. He prayed his best friend wouldn't. Michael's prayer was left unanswered.

"They want to meet us tomorrow. This is our chance to get signed." Ashton frowned at his hands. "There will be no deal as long as you're with someone like Luke, though, you're aware of that, right?"

Michael couldn't breathe.

"You should break it off now, while you still can. Minimise the damage."

This time, there was air in Michael's lungs, a current making his muscles strain, made him sit up. Anger, so much anger. "What?"

"Minimise the damage." Ashton repeated. "Right now, you're both not as invested yet." The older boy flicked his gaze up, sighed. "Don't give me that look, Michael. You know I wish it would be else. I'm in the same boat as you if I may remind you."

"So you tell me to," the thought alone made Michael's throat close up, "break up with Luke?"

Ashton looked at his hands and Michael wanted to scream, kick, cry. But that wouldn’t have been fair towards Ashton. It wasn’t Ashton's fault that the world was ignorant. Ashton was just the realistic one of the two of them, the one who carried the killjoy burden in order to make them succeed, secure them a record deal with the label Michael had dreamt of getting signed by since he had been thirteen.

"It’s either your relationship with Luke or this record deal, I fear." Ashton said. His voice was toneless.

Michael was about to answer when he heard a low bang from the other end of the room, followed by an even lower gasp. Alarmed, Michael turned around, but it was already too late.

Luke was standing in the door frame no ten feet away, Michael's duvet wrapped around him like a toga. Judging by the crestfallen look on his face, he had heard everything.

"Luke." Michael tried. The blond boy turned on his heels and ran.


	12. Kajal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in jail again for stealing the brother's laptop 
> 
> #noragrets #sendicecreamplease
> 
> TW transphobia, queerphobic behaviour

Cursing, Michael jumped up. He scrambled to get to the door. Panic settled in his chest as he found the hallway empty, relief taking over the moment he heard muffled sniffling sounds coming from his right. Luke had fled to Michael’s bedroom.

Ignoring the painful hammering of his heart, Michael made a beeline for the ajar door. Luke was sitting on the side edge of Michael’s bed. The duvet had slipped off of his body. It was now only covering his lower body, granting Michael an even better view of Luke’s heaving back. The pain inside Michael intensified as he thought about what happened last night in his bed. He and Luke had been so close, mentally and physically, and not even twenty-four hours later, Michael had managed to fuck it up, royally at that.

Michael closed the door behind him gently. Luke curled even farther into himself at the barely audible sound. Michael suppressed a sigh. Anxiously fingering the barbell of his eyebrow piercing, he sat down on the foot end of his bed, left a good half metre between himself and Luke. Michael turned his head so he could look at Luke’s back.

He didn’t knew how long they stayed like this. The silence between them was heavy, weighing heavier on Michael’s shoulders by the minute. Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Luke.”

The blond boy whimpered.

Michael crawled over the mattress.

“Lukey.” He pressed his forehead against the point where Luke’s neck met his shoulders. Michael could feel the muscles tense beneath him, so he tilted his chin up. His lips connected with the Luke’s skin and the other boy went rigid, his head flying up.

Nonetheless his words were quiet, barely audible as he spoke. “Michael.”

Luke didn’t voice the “stop”, but Michael got the message. With a sigh, he pulled back, granted Luke more space again. This time, Michael kept his eyes on the plaid pattern of his sheets.

He said the most important thing first. “I love you.”

Luke’s arm muscles twitched as if he was squeezing his fists.

“And I don’t want to break up with you.”

It was like pulling the pin of a hand grenade. Suddenly, Luke was standing and turning and glaring at him. “Oh hell no! Don’t you dare, Michael! Don’t give me this bullshit.” As fast as Luke had exploded, he deflated. Luke’s head fell, tears prickling in the corner of his eyes. “We both know what Ashton said.” Luke’s voice was so small. “This is not worth it.”

Michael felt his throat close up. Despair flooded his veins with cold anger, and he could feel his own eyes burn. “Yes it is.”

Luke shook his head. “This is your dream, Michael. I’m not going to make you give this up. I know how you feel about your music. It is your dream.”

It was like his blood was boiling and his head was spinning. Michael couldn’t lose this. He couldn’t lose Luke. And Michael knew how stupid that was. Music had been his life since he was eleven and his dad had pushed a guitar into his hand for the first time. This record deal was his chance to live off of doing what he loved. But he also loved Luke. God, he loved Luke so much.

Helplessly, he scrambled over the mattress and off it, fell to a halt in front of Luke. It was too much, then, and the tears began rolling his cheeks. Blindly, Michael groped for Luke’s face,  covered the blond boy’s cheeks with his hands. He blinked the tears away as best as possible, determined to meet Luke’s gaze. Luke was crying, too, droplets of saltwater creating puddles in the curves of Michael’s hands.

“You are my dream.”

Luke’s eyes fluttered close. “Michael.”

“No. It’s you. You are my dream.” To emphasise his words, Michael pressed their lips together. After a short moment of nothing, Luke was kissing back. Almost violently, the younger boy buried his fingers in Michael’s hair, tugged harshly. It elicted a moan from Michael.

They were both panting by the time they broke for air. Luke kept them close, didn’t loosen his grip on Michael.

“Please, don’t-” Luke’s face scrunched up as he frowned. “Please, don’t regret it. I wouldn’t know how to- if you would regret it.”

“Never.” Michael knew then that it was true. “I believe in this. I believe in us. And if life grants you something as invaluable as someone you love and that loves you, then I think you shouldn’t give it up. I won’t give you up.”

“I love you.” Luke said.

Michael smiled. “I know. I love you, too. Now stop crying, yeah babe, can’t have your eye-liner going all over the place.”

It worked. Luke giggled, used the back of his hand to wipe his nose. “No, wouldn’t want that. I bet I look like a raccoon.”

Grinning, Michael kissed him. “A very sexy raccoon.”

“Oh my god.” Luke exhaled and Michael savoured every single blotch of pink appearing on Luke’s cheek he got to see before Luke buried his face in Michael’s neck. Michael felt a warm sensation inside his stomach when Luke’s arms wrapped around his waist. He savoured the feeling for a little bit. Eventually, he pressed a kiss on the top of Luke’s head and let go.

“You wanna go take a shower?

Luke nodded and Michael did too. “I’ll wait in the living room. Tell Ashton what’s up”

Luke’s face fell. “Do you think he will hate me now? Because it’s his career as well.”

“No.” Michael took the younger boy’s hand. “He won’t.”

Luke didn’t seem convinced, but Michael couldn’t do anything about it at the moment, so he shooed Luke off into the bathroom instead.

Ashton seemed to know the moment Michael reemerged. His hazel eyes dimmed, lips pressing into a thin line.

“Ash.” Michael tried, but the other boy cut him off.

“It’s the decision you have made, Michael.” Ashton smiled, close-mouthed. “We’ll see how it goes.”

*

Michael felt at home and out of place at the same time, the moment they entered the asymmetric metal building.

“Hi!” They were greeted by a turquoise-haired girl in a Breathe Carolina shirt once they had reached the reception. “Welcome at Fearless Records. What can I do for you?”

“Hello!” Ashton greeted back just as enthusiastically, giving her his brightest sunshine smile. And that without a warning. Michael had to blink, hoped the poor girl didn’t go blind. “We have an appointment with uh Chris?”

“Sure!” The girl popped her bubblegum. “Take a seat for a moment, I’ll call him up.”

She guided them towards the waiting area which was furnished with strategically mismatching armchairs. They didn’t have to wait long. Soon, a slender guy with Latino complexion and a friendly smile walked up to them.

“Hi, Ash and Mikey? I’m Chris.” He introduced himself. “Welcome to Fearless’s HQ! Follow me, Bob’s already waiting.”

While Chris lead them through the maze of hallways and vitrous-walled offices, he told them with great enthusiasm how happy they were that Ashton and Michael had made it here and how much he was looking forward to work with them.

Michael smiled and nodded whenever Chris looked at him. Judging by Ashton’s content face, he was doing okay so far. At some point, they reached a set of black double swing door. The words “Big Boss” were spray-painted on them. And then Michael was standing in Bob fucking Becker’s bureau, shaking the hand of the man himself.

“Nice to meet you, guys! You can call me, Bob.” Bob said, motioning them to sit down while stroking his bleached goatee. “This is Heather.” He introduced the woman standing behind him. She couldn’t be much older than twenty-five, with dyed black hair and a fake tan too perfect to not be artificial. Her dark blue eyes scanned them methodically before she gave each of them a nod. “She’s PR and all that stuff. Chris is Vice Pres and also our head scout. He discovered you two.”

Ashton perked up. “We appreciate that, a lot.”

Chris waved them off. Michael could practically hear him say “No problem, bro!”

What followed was a half an hour of business talk. Bob and Chris told them what they envisioned, Heather chiming in only from time to time, when Bob’s ideas got too wild.

By the time Chris ended with “Under the cut, we’d love to sign you”, Michael’s head was spinning. They actually wanted them. Fearless records wanted to sign them. And not a single thing they had told him he hadn’t liked. Except maybe the fact that they would get a personal trainer to ensure their on stage fitness.

“We would love to work with you.” Ashton said. “The perspective you’re giving us sounds just like the right thing for our band.”

“Awesome.” Bob grinned. “That’s it, then. Maya at the reception will give you another appointment for the contract signing and all that. Also give her the contact of your lawyer, so ours can send him the contract for approval.”

“Will do.”

Michael followed suit as Ashton rose to his feet.

“I am looking forward to working with you.” Bob stood up as well and offered them a hand, Chris following a second later.

“The pleasure is all ours.” Ashton beamed, taking the offered hands and shaking them. Michael hurried to do the same. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Ashton turned towards the door, Michael closely behind him.

“Oh, one thing.” Heather piped up, effectively calling them back. “Michael.” Her dark eyes landed on him. Suddenly, they didn’t seem warm at all anymore. Michael gulped. “We forgot to mention it, but you obviously have to break up with that drag queen you’re dating. Something like _that_ ,” Michael’s blood reached its boiling point as he realised the that she was talking about was his boyfriend, “does not fit into our vision.”

There were a few seconds of silence while the words settled in.

Ashton’s handed landed on Michael’s back, the same moment he hissed. “Motherfucker.”

“Michael!” Ashton tried but to no avail. Within half a second Michael was on his feet. His chair clattered to the ground with a low bang. “What did you just call him?”

Heather kept her professional face, giving him a belittling smile. “Of course we support his decision to live out the girl in him or whatever.” Heather waved her hand. “It just makes him unfit to be associated with an upcoming alternative band.” She shrugged. “He has to go.”

“Fuck you!” Michael spit.

“Michael!” Ashton tried again.

“No! Fuck you and your bullshit outdated ‘vision’! You don’t even know him!”

Heather’s smile faltered almost unnoticeably. But Michael saw the flash of something dangerous going over her eyes. It only riled him up even more. “And fuck you and your ignorant queerphobia! Who do you think you are to call him that?”

Later, Michael would be thankful for having Ashton with him. Right now, however, he wasn’t. Not when Ashton’s arms wrapped around him, just before Michael was about to lunge over Bob’s desk and throttle Heather.

“Ashton, no, let me go!”

Instead, the older boy began pulling him back. Michael fought hard but couldn’t win against Ashton’s drummer biceps. Against his will, he was manhandled out of the room. Determined to use his remaining few second in the room to the fullest, Michael began hurling every insult he could think of. “I bet you’re just jealous! You’re just a pathetic tan mom copy! His make-up looks better than yours!”

They had made it to the hallway now.

“Oh and one more thing,” Michael shouted. The door was closing automatically behind them. “The correct term is non-binary, you ignorant-.”

The _wench_ Michael appended was cut off by the door falling shut.

*

Ashton didn’t let go of him until they had left the building. It was just enough time for the anger to leave Michael’s body and make room for the bad conscious he had to have towards his best friend.

“Ashton.” He tried as they walked towards the car, but the curly-haired boy shut him up with the raise of his hand. Hanging his head low, Michael climbed into the passenger seat. The moment they were alone in the car, Ashton dropped his face into his hands.

Michael took it as a cue to try to apologise again. “Ashton, listen, I’m sorry, I-”

He panicked when he could hear muffled noises coming from Ashton’s hands. “I know I shouldn’t have gone off like that but when she called Luke that… that word, I just lost it. I swear, I’m never-”

Michael was interrupted by Ashton lifting his face off of his hands. And then Ashton’s laughter was filling the car. Stunned, Michael fell silent whilst Ashton cackled beside him, his face turning redder by the second.

By the time Michael had found his words again, Ashton had resolved into a wheezing mess beside him. “You- you’re not mad?”

“Please.” Ashton huffed, wiping laughter tears out of his eyes. “She called Luke a drag queen. What a fucking bitch.” He mimicked Heather’s voice. “That does not fit into _our_ vision.”

Michael laughed, not because it was funny, but simply because he was so relieved.

“And sure, their deal was cool and all, but you love our beloved gender unicorn so he’s family. Nobody gets to insult my family.” Ashton furrowed his brows, a mischievous glint flashing over his eyes. “Especially not a pathetic tan mom copy.”

“So you saw it too!”

“You were right, you know?” Ashton grinned. “Luke’s make-up is better than hers on any day.”

And Michael really, really loved his best friend. In fear of bursting otherwise, he threw his arms around Ashton’s shoulder, nuzzling all the affection he was feeling into his neck. “I love you, Ashy.”

Ashton rolled his eyes, but Michael didn’t miss the pleased smile he tried to hide. “Love you too, man.” He clapped Michael on the back and Michael let go. “Now let’s get you back to your boy.”


	13. Brush

Luke was in the kitchen when Michael returned. Michael didn't even have to say anything. The moment he had entered the tiny room, Luke knew. Michael was smiling, but it wasn’t a “I just signed the record deal of my dreams” kind of smile. With a silent sigh, Luke fell back against the kitchen counter. There was anguish seizing his stomach, and guilt taking over his thoughts. _It’s your fault_ , the mean little voice inside his head told him, _he’s fine now, but he’ll hate you for it soon._

The thought alone made Luke nauseous. He couldn’t have another boyfriend despise him. Not when Luke knew he wouldn’t be able to pull away this time. Michael was there, in his thoughts and his heart and every cell of his body. Luke wouldn’t be able to cope if they’d end bad. But then Michael positioned himself between his legs, forcefully tilted Luke's chin upwards with his thumb. He was wearing an "I love you" kind of smile.

Luke shut the voices in his head down as he buried his face in Michael's neck, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Michael chuckled into his hair.

Luke clung harder nonetheless.

“Seriously, Luke, it’s fine. They were total dicks. Really not Ashton and mine’s scene.”

Luke pulled away to survey Michael’s face as he spoke, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Michael nodded, pecking him swiftly on the lips, “absolutely.”

Luke still wasn’t completely convinced, but he forced himself to be. It was pointless to worry about things he couldn’t change either way.

“Okay,” he exhaled and turned around in Michael’s arms. Carefully, Luke picked his knife back up.

Michael grinned as he stole a piece of the strawberries Luke was chopping. His voice was easy, almost teasing when he sang, “What’s cooking, good-looking?”

*

It was three am and Michael was sleeping. With an annoyed grunt he buried his face deeper in the pillows, ignoring the incessant ringing of his phone. Luke’s arm around his waist twitched, alerting Michael to full wakeness. Groaning, he sat up, careful to disentangle his limbs from Luke as gently as possible. The blond boy scrunched up his nose in his sleep, but didn’t wake up.

As soon as he was Luke-free, Michael stumbled the few metres to his bedroom door, crouching down to pluck his phone from the socket next to it.

“Hello?”

“Michael?” came an unexpected, yet familiar voice through the speakers.

“Lauren?” Michael asked.

“Michael, you have to help me,” the girl sniffed. Her words came out muffled, as if she was crying.

Instantly, Michael was fully awake.

“What’s up, bug?” he asked, softly. He knew that if he would yell or sound annoyed, Ashton’s little sister might hang up. There were voices in the background, Michael noticed, high-pitched and chittering. More faintly, there was also music and laughter in the background.

“I did something stupid, Mike,” Lauren sniffed again. “Can you come and pick me up? We’re at this guy’s house and… can you come quick? I don’t know who else to call.”

“Of course. Sure,” Michael was already gathering a pair of sweats from the floor. He didn’t mention the fact that there was in fact someone else Lauren knew to call. Someone who would kick Michael’s ass in the morning for doing this and not telling him. Michael decided to focus on the task at hand, instead.

Another sniffle, “Thank you.”

“It’s going to be fine, bug,” Michael closed the bedroom door behind him, after he had successfully manage to pull on sweats and a hoodie without waking Luke. “I’m on my way.”

The drive to Lauren’s location took nearly an hour. Michael didn’t even want to imagine how Lauren and her friends had ended up this far away from their city quarter. LA was dangerous, even more so at night, even more so for five freezing teenage girls at a frat party.

Michael saved his breath, though, as he ushered Lauren’s friends into the backseat of his Civic. It took some time but at last the four girls had managed to squeeze in. Lauren had called shotgun, was already busy plucking the AUX cord into her phone when Michael slumped down on the driver’s seat.

Lauren was hyper all the way back home, laughing and chatting animatedly with her friends in the backseat. There was nothing left of the crying girl that had called Michael a mere hour ago. Michael bit his tongue and waited. He knew Lauren well enough.

As predicted, the sixteen year-old’s demeanor fell the moment they had dropped off the last teenager in front of their fenced suburban home.

“Fuck,” she muttered and buried her face in her hands as Michael pulled away from the curb.

“Hey,” Michael reprimanded, “don’t swear. Ashton raised you better than that.”

Michael could see Lauren flinch in his peripheral vision and he knew she had understood that Michael wasn’t just talking about the cussword.

“It wasn’t supposed to get out of hand like that,” Lauren’s voice was shaking, not louder than a whisper. “I thought it would be fine. Carla said it would be fine, that she knew the brothers and that they weren’t this kind of frat.”

Michael huffed, “Well, Carla was wrong.”

Lauren let out a mirthless laugh, “She did it on purpose. It was a trick to get me to go with them. And I think I actually knew that. But I wanted to go. I wanted them to like me. They are the first friends I’ve made since I got here.”

Michael sighed. He remembered the night in summer Ashton had called him. The curly-haired boy rarely cried, but that time he had been in tears, words about his family, about how things were tough for Lauren at home and how he felt like he was failing her as a big brother tumbling out of his mouth.  

Merely two weeks later, Michael had driven them both to the airport to pick Lauren up. She had seemed over the moon then, with her life packed into two suitcases next to her and the prospect of living with her older brother from now on.

Her eyes hadn’t been black-framed then, her clothes not nearly as ripped or revealing. There were times when Michael was more than thankful he was out of high school.

Blindly, he rubbed Lauren’s arm, “It’s okay, bug. We’ve all done stupid shit when we were teenagers.”

“I bet Ashton didn’t,” the girl sighed.

Michael just laughed. Never could Lauren know of any of the stories he and Ashton had to tell.

“Oh, let’s just say your brother had his fair share of teenage shenanigans. I mean, most of it was because of me, but yeah. Don’t feel bad.”

Lauren wiped her nose with the back of her hand, “Okay.”

They drove in silence for a couple of minutes.

“Hey, Michael?”

“Yes?”

“You’re not going to tell Ashy, right?”

Michael smiled, “What, about how you called me at eleven that your sleepover was a blow and how you didn’t want to wake up Ashton, so I gladly picked you up and we watched Mean Girls until one in the morning when you went to bed like a good sixteen year-old girl?”

“Yeah,” Lauren smiled at him. “Yeah, that one.”

“Sorry, bug, I kinda have to. I have to be a responsible adult and unofficial guardian after all.”

Lauren sighed dramatically, “In that case, I guess I will survive.”

Michael ruffled her hair without taking his eyes off the street. He laughed upon her protesting clamour and pulled onto the curb in front of his apartment building.

“I take it you’re gonna seek shelter at mine tonight?”

Lauren grinned bashfully at him. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Alright,” he said. “But you have to be extra quiet. Luke’s asleep and you and I intend to keep it that way.”

Michael was already jostling his key into the door when he noticed that Lauren hadn’t followed. She was still standing next to his car, hand frozen around the frame to close it. Furrowing his brows, Michael scurried back to her.

“You’re alright, bug?”

Lauren’s eyes were widened. She took a moment to blink and look up at him.

“Luke,” she whispered, just when Michael was beginning to seriously get worried.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, “my boyfriend, Luke. The one we talked on the phone about, remember? Tall, blond, non-binary, pretty blue-”

“I know who he is!” Lauren hissed at him, indignantly. The next moment, she deflated, began to walk up and down the curb.

“I am not ready,” she told Michael, frantically shaking her head. “I am not ready to meet him yet.”

“Are you,” Michael cocked his head as he watched the sixteen year-old girl slowly but surely melt into a puddle of nerves, “a fan or something?”

“What?” Lauren looked up, an almost wild expression in her eyes. “No, of course not,” she huffed. “He’s your boyfriend, that would be weird.”

Michael raised a single eyebrow at her.

“Okay, I am! I am!” Lauren threw her hands into the air. “I am basically his biggest fan. He’s my idol, okay?”

Michael smiled and pulled her against his chest. Settling his arm around her shoulder, he guided them towards the door. “That’s okay. He’s my idol too.”

*

Luke woke up to an empty bed and a growling stomach. Blinking against the harsh sunlight falling in through the blinds, he sat up. A quick look to the alarm clock on Michael’s bedside table told him that it was almost ten in the morning. After a short period of struggling with the quite big part of him that just wanted to pass out again, Luke rolled out of bed. After having found a pair of sweatpants in the bathroom, he shuffled out of the bedroom and into the living room.

As far as he could see, Michael was out somewhere, leaving Luke to make breakfast for the both of them. The prospect made Luke happy. He looked forward to being able to give something back to Michael. Contemplating bacon and eggs, Luke made a beeline for the kitchen.

It was then that he noticed he wasn’t alone. There was a girl sitting on Michael’s couch, not much older than sixteen or seventeen. The first thing Luke realised was that she was wearing a Weezer shirt, similar to the one Michael had. It was huge on her, perfect to sleep in. The girl was sitting Indian style in the middle of the loveseat, leggins-clad legs partially covered by Luke’s favourite blanket. Her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and there were smudges of mascara around her eyes as if she had slept without taking her make-up off.

After an awkward moment of the both of them just staring at each other, Luke remembered that he was the adult in this situation.

Swiftly, Luke put on his best children-friendly smile. “Oh, hello!”

The girl just kept staring at him, her piercing blue eyes fell to his very naked chest, flicked back up to meet his gaze, then back down. Self-consciously, Luke crossed his arms in front of his chest. The motion was enough to shake the girl from her temporary stupor.

Inhaling sharply, she met his eyes and blurted, “I have watched every video you’ve ever made.”

Luke couldn’t help but laugh. He had expected a lot of things, but the girl being a fan of him wasn’t one of them. Normally the situation would have freaked Luke out. But Michael had to know this girl, and had to know her well if he was giving her one of his favourite shirts to sleep in. And Luke trusted Michael.

Luke felt his muscles ease. “Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Luke.”

“I know,” the girl said, too fast. Luke could practically see her cringe. “I mean, uh, nice to meet you too. I’m Lauren. I’m Ashton’s little sister.”

Lauren smiled tentatively at him and Luke made sure to give her an extra bright smile back. “Hello, Lauren.”

“Michael’s just down the street, getting pancake mix for breakfast,” she told him, her eyes wandering back to Luke’s chest. Luke tried hard not to laugh. Since he knew this was Ashton’s baby sister, he took it as a compliment. And she was a fan of him, after all. She partook greatly in his source of happiness.

“Oh, that makes sense. I’m just going to throw on some clothes,” with a smile, he added, “and then we are going to take care of those remnants of last night on your face. Because if you watch my videos you know...”

“... taking your make-up off is just as important as putting it on!” Lauren squeaked, her cheeks flushing cherry red as she recited one of Luke’s most common lines.

“Exactly!” Luke opened the bedroom door, already a plan in mind. “I’ll be right back!”

*

Michael cursed as his keys fell onto his doormat. Following up the intitial “Fuck!” with a couple more expletives, he maneuvered the pancake mix bottle jammed under his armpit onto the package of toast in his arms. As soon as he had one hand free, Michael crouched down with a grunt and picked the keys back up, this time successfully pushing the one for his door into the keyhole.

He was greeted with muffled giggling and the Kiss FM morning show. As soon as he rounded the corner, he stopped dead in his tracks. On his couch there was Lauren, looking mere seconds from passing out while a very concentrated looking Luke was leaning over her, his hands artfully applying black lines to the space around her eyes.

“Well, there go my plans for surprising you with breakfast in bed,” Michael complained loudly, announcing his presence to the other two.

“Michael!” Luke whipped his head around to beam at him.

“Hi, Michael!” Lauren waved, excitement and general Luke-induced starstruckedness making her voice quiver. Michael couldn’t blame her.

“Hey, bug,” Michael laughed. “I’m gone for ten minutes and you already managed to snatch away my boyfriend and make him your make-up slave, huh?”

“Shut up, Michael!” Luke scolded him, patting a mortified-looking Lauren on the back. “Lauren and I are best friends now.”

“Swear on your Shiseido foundation?”

“I swear on the concealer,” Luke poked out his tongue at him.

Michael nodded, sniffling, “I see I have been replaced. So have fun without me.”

With a dramatic wail, he turned away from the couch and in the direction of the kitchen.

“Noooo!”

The next second, Luke was using his long legs to climb over the couch table and stop Michael with a peck on the lips.

“Hey,” Michael smiled, more than consoled.

“Hi,” Luke smiled back at him. “I love you more, promise. Please don’t leave.”

Michael bumped their noses, “I’d never.”

“Good, I’m glad,” Luke smiled. “You want me to take something off your hands?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Michael grinned, marching on in the direction of the kitchen. “You go back to winging that eyeliner. I’ll do breakfast.”


	14. Make-Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back, finally! I was able to order a new laptop and I just want to give a huge, vast shoutout to all the amazing people that donated to help me get my happiness back. I love you and all the upcoming chapters are definitely dedicated to you. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Boys touching other boys. 
> 
> TW: the f-slur

The moment they slipped into bed, skin still flushed and mouths giggling from the wine of the fancy dinner restaurant Ashton had taken them to, Luke wrapped his arms around Michael. His grip was tight, so tight that it made breathing uncomfortable, but Michael didn't complain. He threw his leg over Luke's thigh and clung back.

“I don’t wanna go tomorrow," Luke mumbled into his chest. The words cracked Michael's bubble of sweet denial. He could feel the shards slicing into his skin, through flesh and bone until he was bleeding soul.

Michael exhaled, buried his nails into Luke's skin where he had previously been busy drawing patterns around the knobs of Luke's spine, “I don’t want you to leave.”

Luke tightened his grip for another fraction, “I’ll miss you too much.”

“Don't leave. Stay here, forever. You can sleep in my bed and we can live off of love and good wifi.”

Luke giggled at that. Michael savoured every moment of it before Luke’s expression was overtaken by sadness again.

"Maybe I'll do it," Luke said defiantly, "I'm just gonna drop out of uni. Who needs a degree anyways."

"You won't. You love bio chem, though it is beyond me how."

"Not as much as I love you."

Michael smiled at his boy, "I love you too. And I know we're gonna make it through this. A couple of months is not that long. Blink and we’ll be back together.

“I love you.” Luke wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “I fucking love you.”

Michael put on a fake-pout. “Hey, that’s my line.”

He laughed as Luke pressed him down on the bed. Luke rolled over and swung one of his legs over Michael’s waist so he was straddling him. Michael lifted his head in the same moment Luke dipped down to kiss him. There was a ferocity behind Luke’s movements that had Michael panting, groaning when the other boy began biting and sucking on his bottom lip.

“You going somewhere with this?”

Luke huffed, seemingly annoyed Michael had detached their lips.

“Maybe,” after a second, Luke was pulling away himself, worry lines making his forehead crinkle up, “You wouldn’t mind, would you?”

Michael wanted to laugh. How was Luke even real? “If I would mind if we take this farther? No, Luke,” Michael tightened his grip around the back of Luke’s neck, let his voice drop, “I wouldn’t.”

“Great,” Luke breathed before pushing his hands underneath Michael’s sleeping tank, nearly ripping the fabric of Michael’s body. A low moan escaped Michael when Luke began moving on top of him, their half-hard dicks aligning through the fabric of their boxers. Tangling his hands in the blond strands, Michael opened his mouth, let Luke sweep his tongue inside.

It was brilliant, the taste of Luke’s tongue. Michael had no idea how he was going to live without that. Channeling his desperation into something else, Michael began tugging on Luke’s hair. Luke groaned, his rutting becoming more frantic. The moment they broke for air, Michael was discarding both of their shirts. Then he flipped them over, settled himself between Luke’s thighs. Michael wrapped his hand around one of them, holding Luke’s lower body in place while he began planting open-mouthed kisses on Luke’s torso.

“F-fuck,” Luke whimpered, “Michael!”

Michael smirked, lightly flicked his tongue against Luke’s nipple, “Yes, love?”

Luke’s normally meticulously styled hair was matted against his forehead now, pupils blown fullsize, pretty lips mouthing incoherent words at him. His chest was flushed, dark marks already blooming where Michael had sucked the golden skin hard enough to bruise. Michael loved this, loved seeing Luke all fucked out even though Michael hadn’t even gone down on him yet.  

“Want me to blow you?” he asked innocently, placing his palm on the bulge in Luke’s pants.

Luke whined. Michael could feel the other boy’s cock twitch underneath his hand.

“Sorry, babe, I can’t understand you,” Michael let his head drop to the side, pressed his cheek to the clenching muscles of Luke’s abdomen, “What was that?”

“Please,” Luke managed. He panted as Michael gently massaged him, touch firm enough to rile Luke up, but too light to actually relieve any need. It was all the confirmation Michael needed.

Grinning, he surged back up and reattached his mouth to Luke’s neck and slowly wandered down. Michael kept palming Luke while he scratched his teeth over Luke’s sternum, over the flesh of Luke’s abdomen and lastly blew soft air onto the other boy’s happy trail.

“Michael,” the dark-dyed boy could tell Luke was struggling to keep his hips from bucking, “please, please do something.”

“As you wish,” Michael said, as nonchalantly as possible. He contradicted his easy tone the next moment by finally moving his hand up and pulling Luke’s boxer briefs down. It almost made Michael’s mouth water, the sight of Luke’s cock all flushed and hard for him. He pressed a quick kiss to the point where Luke’s left leg and hip connected. Then Michael wrapped his hand around the hot flesh and stroked a couple of times before taking the head into his mouth.

Luke _writhed_ , a stream of pleadings and expletives coming out of his mouth. Michael tasted precome on his tongue. He sucked at the tip while keeping Luke’s cock in place by curling one hand around the base, squeezing. Luke moaned and Michael sucked harder, swirling his tongue and pressing it to the vein on the underside of Luke’s cock when he came back to the tip.

The incoherent stream of words flowing out of Luke continued on, became a lot more colourful in the expletive aspect when Michael began to bob his head up and down. Michael made sure to press the pad of his thumb against Luke’s perineum whenever he heard his own name. It elicted a cry from Luke every time.

The mattress creaked as the blond boy arched his back when Michael took him down as far as he could. Michael resented the feeling when Luke’s tip hit the back of his throat but he knew better than to splutter. Deep-throating wasn’t Michael’s favourite thing to do, the strain on the jaw was quite mean, but that didn’t mean Michael couldn’t do it, wasn’t fucking brilliant at it. The high-pitched whimper Luke produced in response was worth it, in any case.

He knew Luke was getting close when the younger boy started to squirm, his moans becoming more breathless. “Ah, fuck, Michael, feels so good.”

Not a moment later, Luke’s hand found its way into Michael’s hair, tugged. Michael ignored that. He kept going until eventually, Luke went rigid beneath him and then the taste of salt and come was heavy on Michael’s tongue. With a wet popping sound he pulled off and surged upwards, smashed their lips together. Obediently, Luke opened his mouth, let Michael make him taste himself. It was messy and there was spit and come running down their chins but Michael still loved every second of it.

Eventually, they broke for air.

“Fuck, that was-” Luke’s gaze was positively sex-dazed as he looked at Michael.

“Thanks,” Michael laughed and immediately, he wanted to cringe. As fucked out as Luke looked, Michael’s voice sounded worse. He could already tell he would have to deal with a sore throat in the morning. Not that it would matter, then.

“Do you want me to-”

“Reciprocate the favour?” Michael asked

“Yeah,” Luke smiled at him, a glimmer of something darker bringing his eyes back to life, “if you’d let me.”

Michael smiled back, reconnecting their lips for a swift, chaste kiss, “I couldn’t think of a thing I’d want more right now.”

Luke beamed, then grinned, almost feral as he flipped them over so he was on top of Michael, crawled down so he was kneeling in between Michael’s thighs. He went down slowly, inch by inch. Michael closed his eyes, shifted all his focus onto the feeling of Luke’s tongue on his skin painfully hard flesh. Luke’s mouth on his cock felt almost heavenly.

Then Michael made the mistake to open his eyes and look down. It didn’t take more than the sight of Luke’s head between his thighs, lips stretched obscenely around Michael’s cock, to tip him over the edge. Hot, white heat exploded from the bottom of Michael’s spine, spread into the last of his fingertips as his body jolted, became jelly during the aftershocks. Faintly, he registered Luke pulling off.

“Fuck,” Michael muttered at the ceiling as soon as he had gathered his higher brain functions back. Luke purred, chin still glistening with their spit and come.

He sprawled himself out on top of Michael before snuggling into his chest, “You’re welcome.”

“That was probably the best blowjob of my life. Fuck, Luke, you’re amazing.”

The other boy laughed. “You’re just saying that because I made you come like twenty seconds ago.”

Michael wrapped his arms around Luke, “Nah, babe, I’m saying that because I love you.”

Michael savoured the way Luke blushed, “And for the record, you were a pretty great recipient as well.”

It took Michael a couple of seconds to notice the suddenly bright red flush to Luke’s cheeks. Luke rolled off of him and sat up, not meeting his eyes.

“What,” Michael sat up as well, searched for Luke to meet his eyes, “you weren’t like a virgin or something, right? Someone did blow you before?”

Luke didn’t look at him, pulled his legs towards his chest Indian style.

A slight wave of panic settled in Michael’s stomach. “Luke?”

“Uhm,” the younger boy still didn’t look at him, “no, I am not- I mean I wasn’t a virgin. I’ve slept with someone before.”

“You had sex and given head but you’ve never gotten head before?” Michael regretted the incredulous tone to his voice the moment he saw Luke flinch. “No, fuck, don’t answer that. I’m sorry, Lukey, that was insensitive. I’m an idiot. Don’t listen to me, baby.”

Michael wanted to pull Luke in, but the other boy shook his head, “It wasn’t really… like that. He didn’t like it. My ex, I mean. He didn’t like- he said that only girls and f-uhm-” Luke blinked at the ceiling, “faggots suck dick.”

There were a few seconds of silence, in which Michael contemplated whether or not Luke was serious.

“What?”

“He said that-”

“No, Luke,” Michael took his boyfriend’s, his beautiful, beautiful boyfriend’s hands, “I’ve heard what you said. I meant, are you serious? Because you said it was a him. And he was in a relationship with you. And that makes him,” Michael exhaled, “you know, definitely not straight.”

“Ty isn’t gay.” The words came out defiantly, so harsh and un-Luke-like that Michael knew it weren’t Luke’s own. They just had been ingrained into his head. It ignited a fire inside Michael’s stomach, a singing green flame licking at his insides, making him want to hunt whoever this Ty was down and rip him a new one. But Michael knew it was pointless pressing Luke further on that topic. That much had been made clear.

“Okay,” Michael said, softly, “course, you’re right. Stupid of me to think anything else. Ty is as straight as a ruler, isn’t he?”

It made Michael want to growl, the way Luke’s shoulders eased at that. Michael needed more information. Information he couldn’t get from Luke. And he wouldn’t let it ruin his night, his last night with Luke.

Smiling, Michael pressed his thumb on a small cut beneath Luke’s bottom lip where the blond boy had bitten down hard enough to tear the skin open.

“You know what would be hot?” he said, lightly.

“Mhm?” Luke hummed. The topic change made the emptiness in his eyes disappear within the blink of an eye. What remained was a very droopy-eyed, very tired-looking Luke. Michael didn’t mind. Luke was here, returning to his arms, so he was fine.

Smiling, he pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s temple as soon as Luke had settled back against his chest.

Michael dropped his lips to Luke’s ear after, “You should replace the piercing with a lip ring.”

Luke chuckled into Michael’s neck, close-eyed.

“I’d be so hot.”

“Maybe I’ll do it. Just for you.”

Michael smiled. “Sleep well, Luke.”

He didn’t get an answer, just the soft sounds of Luke’s breath evening out.

*

“It will be alright,” Michael said the words for a felt thousandth time, “We’ll be alright.”

Luke just tightened his grip on him, yet again, effectively cutting Michael’s oxygen supply off. For good this time. Michael didn’t mind. He wouldn’t be able to breathe for the next months anyway, he might as well start now while Luke was still with him.

“I love you,” Luke said, pressing their lips together almost desperately. The kiss tasted stale, like the make-up that was continuously running down Luke’s face. “And I am leaving. I shouldn’t be leaving. I- I can’t leave. I love you.”

“Too late, babe,” Michael laughed, but it sounded forced, even to his own ears, “we’re already at the airport now.”

As if on cue, a group of Asian tourists walked past them, one of them even snapping a picture of Luke and Michael. Calum shooed her off angrily, before returning to Ashton. The both of them were busy trying to figure out how to pull up Calum and Luke’s flight tickets onto their phones. Michael knew that really, they were giving him and Luke space to say goodbye.

“But I love you, too. Text me the moment you touch down, okay?”

“Promise.”

“I love you.”

“I-”

“Luke,” Calum interrupted them, not looking pleased at all, “I’m sorry but we have to board now. They are about to close the gate.”

“Yeah,” Luke nodded at the ground, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. He smeared a bit of dark purple lipstick off when he did it and Michael wanted to cry because it hurt so much.

“I know. I’m- we’re done. I’m okay. We can go.” Luke heaved in a breath. “I’m ready to go.”

Michael could feel every particle of space between them when Luke untangled himself, took a step away, then another one. For a few seconds Michael got distracted by Calum closing the gap, pulling him into short hug, telling him friendly words of goodbye Michael didn’t even register.

Every centimetre Luke walked away tore another piece of his chest apart. At some point, Ashton appeared next to him. His arm was heavy on Michael’s shoulder, supposed to be comforting but felt like nothing but a dead weight.

Luke was leaving. Michael waited until the gates had closed before he allowed himself to yield.


	15. Acoustic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: vulgar language, genderqueerphobic behaviour

Luke shifted, wedging his left foot underneath his right knee. He was sitting Indian style on his bedroom floor, camera on its tripod in front of him.

“And this is how you do a quick and easy look to match pumpkin spice season,” Luke lifted his hand for his signature wave. “Bye, guys!”

He forced a smile at the camera and pressed the off button. A silent sigh escaped Luke as he grabbed his laptop from his far right and began to load the data from the camera onto his laptop.

Luke knew his videos had been shit these past weeks, and the one he had filmed just now was no exception to that rule. The last video of his that had been a hit with the fans had been the last LA vlog, his and Michael’s Goodbye video.

Luke couldn’t help but cringe at the stills displayed while the footage loaded into his editing program. His vibrance, the vibrance that had made Luke famous, was cloaked by sad eyes and tired smiles. And Luke wouldn’t have cared, he was too tired to pressure himself into perfection any longer.

But his viewers noticed. Luke had lost count of the amount of times he had seen someone asking in the comment section what had happened to Luke that made him look like the titular of a dramedy movie. Those comments were most often followed by a thread of comments explaining what had happened and then, unanimous understanding.

Luke couldn’t even begin to think about how much kindness and understanding his viewers mustered. But he knew that all patience had an end and his deadline was coming soon. No one wanted to see a sad boy offering sad smiles and unspectacular make-up tips. Deciding to let his laptop do his job, Luke pulled himself to his feet and walked into the kitchen, contemplating what kind of dinner he would make himself. There were four hours left until Michael would wake up.

*

Luke was sitting on their couch, eating a bowl of baby carrots when Calum stumbled through the front door of their flat.  

“What’s up, Lukey?” Calum asked, way too friendly.

Luke made a noncommittal noise, just continued chewing. He knew he wasn’t being fair. Calum was trying, had been doing so for as long as they had been back. It just wasn’t helping.

“So,” Calum continued, slumping down next to Luke, “how’s your day been?”

Luke chewed around a piece of carrot, “Good.”

“That’s great!”

“Calum?”

“Yeah, man?”

“Is something up, or?” Luke knew he had hit the nail on the head when Calum’s smile grew, threatened to split his face in half.

“Oh, no,” Luke set the bowl down and hid his face in his hands, “what is it, Cali?”

What followed was the familiar crunching of paper and then Calum was prying Luke’s hands away from his face, pressing a slim white envelope into them.

Luke raised his eyebrows when he saw the sigil at the top of the paper, “Train tickets? You’re sending me away?”

“Better,” Calum smiled, but Luke saw the desperation beneath, the fear. He knew, even before Calum spoke the words. ”I’m sending you home.”

*

Luke was startled awake by the loud, sharp shrieking of the train's brakes being operated. His travel time had been less than an hour, yet the constant commotion of the train had managed to lull Luke to sleep.

Lifting his head off his backpack, he rubbed his eyes, needing a moment to take in his surroundings. He was alone in the fourseater, the next person being an elderly lady two compartments down. Muffling a yawn with the sleeve of his sweater, Luke stood up and popped his spine in the process.

As soon as the train stood still, the doors opened with a low buzz and Luke stepped onto the semi-crowded platform. He had always loved the shebang of travelling, the visions of reunions and valedictions, a thousand unknown stories around him. Ignoring the obligatory estranged looks, he weaved his way through the crowd. Luke didn't have to search for very long.

“Baby!” his mum yelled upon spotting him, waving her hand in the air. Luke couldn’t help but smile. He had missed his family, his mother especially.

“Hey, mum,” Luke let himself be pulled into the kind of bone-crushing hug only mums could do.

“How have you been, honey?” clutching his face with her hands, Liz seized him up.

“I’m fine,” Luke smiled at her. It was only half a lie. He did feel better. His mum saw through his lies, nonetheless.

“Mhm, Calum has told me differently,” Liz said and Luke frowned. “But you’re here now so we’ll figure it out,” his mother patted his cheek affectionately, “C’mon now, the rest of the pack is waiting.”

“Ben’s home?” Luke asked, the little brother in him being excited about the prospect of seeing his older siblings.

“He arrived yesterday. Your dad’s got some fancy business dinner tonight. He wants to introduce your brother to some people”

“Ah,” Luke nodded, small grin stealing its way onto his lips, “so Jack and I are just decoration?”

“Luke!” his mother scolded, “Of course not. Your father’s just as excited to see you.”

“Sorry, sorry, I know. You could have told me, though. I would have brought a suit.”

“Oh, I bought you one! And dress, I mean I wasn’t sure-” Liz let out a distressed noise that reminded Luke of that one time on his eighth birthday when his mother had driven around town for an hour to get him a chocolate cake to replace the wrongly-delivered vanilla one.

Moved, Luke took his mother’s hand. “Hey, mum, no it’s fine! I told you, you don’t ever have to worry about the gender thing. ‘m still Luke, ‘m still your son and you can treat me like that.”

“I just want you to be a hundred percent comfortable.”

“I know,” Luke smiled, squeezing her hand as they left the train station, “thank you.”

“Okay,” his mother sniffed before letting him go, “I love you.”

“I love you too, mum.”

*

“Okay, one more time, then we got it, I think.” Wiping the sweat off of his forehead, Michael resituated the guitar on his lap.

“Mike,” Ashton groaned, sprawling himself out over his drum set. The back of his shirt was drenched. Slipping from powerless fingers, Ashton’s drumstick clattered to the ground. It wasn’t a surprise, really. Michael was pushing the both of them to the edge today. “This is the tenth time we are recording this. Something of the previous takes should be usable.”

“No,” Michael gritted his teeth, “it isn’t perfect yet. It has to be perfect.”

Ashton looked up, his lips pressing into a thin line. “Dude, you need a break.”

 _“No,”_ Michael wanted to answer, _“what I need is my boyfriend.”_ Instead he shook his head, pressed his calloused fingertips back to the strings of his guitar. “Just one more time.”

*

Nervously, Luke tugged at the bow tie around his neck as they ascended the lithic stairs leading into the hotel the dinner party was held in.

“I feel like a penguin,” Jack muttered next to him, mimicking Luke’s gesture.

“Calm, Denahi,” Ben whispered from Luke’s other side, a much more serious expression on his face.

Luke and Jack shared a look before taking their older brother in the middle.

“Are you nervous?” Jack asked.

“Or excited?” Luke suggested.

“Does this make your little business heart flutter?”

“Don’t forget us when you’re a corporate shark like dad.”

Ben grunted, shoving the both of them off, “‘kay, guys, got it. You think this is boring.”

“No way,” Jack gasped and Luke giggled.

Their eldest brother pouted while Jack inhaled sharply, waving his hands in the air, “Speak on, mighty Sitka. Teach us all about the secret world of ties and Oxfords.”

“Not Brogues,” Luke muttered under his breath.

With a snort, Ben lead the way inside.

Luke’s eyes widened as he struggled to take in the sight of the ball room. Everything was kept in white and shades of beige, from the covers of the chairs to the flowers placed in the middle of the round tables scattered across the venue. A chandelier as big as a compact car dangled from the high roof of the room. At the far end Luke spotted a stage with the logo of his dad’s company projected on the wall behind it. Suddenly, Luke felt very thankful for his suit and bow tie.

“Alright,” Luke’s father turned around to face his children, “there’s about an hour left until we meet at our table. Until then you can go mingle. Ben, you’re with me and your mother. Jack, Luke...”

Luke smiled at his dad. The slightly nervous glint in Andy’s eyes hadn’t gone unnoticed by Luke.

“... you can do whatever, but, please -”

“We got you, dad,” Jack waved their father off, “No shenanigans, promise.”

“No shenanigans,” Andy repeated.

Jack saluted and grabbed Luke’s hand before pulling them towards the bar.

“Two Salitos, please,” Jack grinned at the bartender.

Luke cleared his throat, “Uhm, Jack…”

“Relax, Kenai, it’s not for you.”

Upon Luke’s confused grunt, Jack flicked his gaze to a point somewhere behind Luke’s shoulder. Luke didn’t have to turn around to spot the probably single, probably Celeste-looking girl that had to sit there. Jack hadn’t taken the split from his ex-girlfriend well.

“Go, have fun,” Luke muttered under his breath as Jack took off with a wink.

Silently shaking his head at his brother, Luke turned back to the bar. The bartender had just handed him a bottle of ginger ale when he was approached from behind.

“Luke Hemmings,” a smooth, familiar voice said behind him, causing the bottle in Luke’s hand to freeze halfway to his mouth. Carefully, so carefully that nothing could spill, Luke set his drink down. His hands were shaking when he let go. Luke clenched them into fists before turning around slowly.

He hadn’t changed much, since the last time Luke had seen him. Ty still looked like the son of a god, with his cropped bronze curls and Mediterranean complexion, piercing grey eyes cutting through Luke way too easily. Ty knew. Maybe that was the violent, perfectly hidden beast side of him. The small golden ring looped through his ear (fake, as Luke knew) shimmered as he tilted his head to the side, smiled at Luke.

Violently, something inside Luke’s chest constricted, his guts flipping while his jaw clenched. Unable to speak, Luke just stared at the other boy, tried hard not to vomit right there and then.

“What?” Ty pouted, “Not excited to see me?”

Luke could feel his pulse rising higher by the second.

“Oh, c’mon, Lukey,” the other boy opened his arms. “That’s not how you greet an old friend, is it?” Ty took a step closer and Luke flinched back, winced as his back hit the counter of the bar. And then there were arms around Luke’s shoulders, and a hand curling around the back of his neck, nails scraping over the sensitive skin where Luke’s hairline began.

“You smell good,” Ty told him as he let go. He didn’t back out of Luke’s space, “always have. That was always a perk about your little,” Ty puckered his lips for a short moment, not more than the twitch of a muscle. But it had never been more than that until the muscle that had twitched had been the one of Ty’s hand, “preferences.”

Luke whimpered.

“Still,” Ty smiled brightly and smoothed his hands over the lapels of Luke’s suit jacket, “you look good tonight, Lukey. Even the eyeliner fits, looks hot.” Ty’s gaze became appraising, something darker spreading underneath.

“Don’t-” Luke managed, barely audible.

“Oh, but I’m not doing anything,” Ty laughed, shaking his head as if he wanted to say “silly boy”. His eyes were ablaze when he looked back at Luke. “After all, you’ve got a boyfriend now, haven’t you? Finally found someone to keep up with your abominable vices?”

Luke needed air. There was no air in his lungs.

“Well, I can’t blame him. You’re a nice fuck. And so easy, too. Bet you couldn’t wait to get on your knees for him. He must love that.”

Luke eyes began to burn. Paralysed, he could feel the edges of his eyes get wet, spill down his cheeks.

“Aw, Lukey, no reason to cry. You didn’t think he like loved you or something like that, did you?” Ty chuckled, “Don’t be stupid. No one could ever love something like you.”

The breath was pushed back into Luke’s lungs, literally.

“Bellagio!” Jack’s angry voice roared from their right and then Ty was gone and Luke fell back against the counter. Hastily, he pressed his hands against his face. Nobody could see him cry, not here, not in front of all these men his father was working with.

“Let me go, you savage!” Ty yelled at Jack who had gripped him by the lapels.

“Piss the fuck off, Bellagio,” Jack snarled, “Calum might not be here, but I can break your bones just as well.”

Ty visibly paled at that. He shot Luke one last, burning glance before he ripped himself free and strut away, his head held high.

Luke mustered every ounce of energy he had left in him and made a beeline for the next exit. Jack was there, just in time to push the vitreous door open for him. They ended up on a humongous stone deck. Torches were distributed evenly along the railing. The chatter from inside broke off the moment Jack had closed the door behind them.

“It’s not real,” he said as Luke leaned himself against the cold stone wall, “Whatever he said to you, he’s not right.”

“I know.”

“Fuck, I’m- mum should have checked the guest list before she made you come here. We should’ve known he’d be here. But then who would have thought that the Bellagios would bring Ty with them, I-”

“Denahi,” Luke said, effectively cutting Jack off.

“Fuck, sorry. Can you just, please, Luke tell me that you’re alright.”

Luke forced a smile onto his face, kept it there long enough to make the worry lines around Jack’s eyes smoothe out.

“I’m fine.” His bones were shifting, like an infection Luke could feel acid crawl up his intestines. “I am fine.”


	16. Tambourine

Luke was lying in his garden, roasting in the sun. For the past ten minutes or so, his phone had been buzzing against his chest but he couldn’t be bothered to look at it. Youtube was a full time job, Luke never really went offline. There were always fans on social media, friends, or even business people that demanded his attention. But right in this moment, he decided he couldn’t be arsed. He only moved when something wet and heavy was swiped over his foot.

“Wah, Molly!”

Wagging her tail, his dog nudged her nose against his foot before picking up the tennis ball fallen from her mouth and dropping it onto Luke’s shin.

With a fond, exasperated sigh, Luke picked it up and threw it, only to get it returned to him half a minute later.

“Good girl”, Luke cooed. His whole face got slobbered over as the old dog attacked. A burst of laughter escaped him.

“She used to do that, even when you were still a baby.”

Luke looked up to find his oldest brother approaching. Ben sat down next to him, clapped him on the back. Smiling, Luke threw the ball again. They both watched Molly hunt after it.

“I remember when Mum told me I was going to get another brother.”

Luke turned his head, Ben’s eyes stayed fixed on their dog.

A small smile spread across the older’s lips, “I remember thinking ‘Oh no, not another kid that will steal my Spiderman glove.’”

“That was an awesome glove,” Luke sighed.

“Yeah,” Ben confirmed, “until Jack broke it, it was.”

They both laughed before Ben’s expression fell again, “I had this plan in my mind, you know, like I always do.”

“You just like to be well prepared.”

“I do,” Ben smiled, “in any case, I had this plan in my mind, how it was going to be. How you were going to be, and at first I was not at all surprised. You were silent like me but passionate like Jack and smarter than both of us,” Ben laughed, “and I thought ‘Oh, yeah, another brother to complete my pirates crew, awesome!’”

Luke smiled at his lap.

“And then you grew up and you didn’t want to be a pirate, you wanted to play dress up and paint your nails and you hated sports and you were awesome, Luke, in so many unexpected, unplanned ways, but you were and you still are,” for the first time since he had begun to speak, Ben looked at him, shot him a shaky smile, “my little brother who turned out to be my little sibling.”

“Ben-” Luke tried, overwhelmed, but Ben cut him off.

“I know you don’t insist on it for Dad, but I did some research and sure, it would take some time but Mum and Dad, they would change your pronouns and swerve around any gendered names if it would make you happier. They’d do anything to make you happy, you know.”

“Yeah, I uhm I know,” Luke could feel his eyes burn. His chest was about to burst, “that’s not it, though, I promise it isn’t. I’m comfortable with my name and pronouns. The familiarity gives me security.”

“Okay,” Ben nodded, squeezing Luke’s arm before turning back to watch Molly snuffing the grass. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes until Ben continued, “You stopped when you were twelve or so, do you remember?”

Luke nodded. There was something blocking his throat.

“You began to hide it and I was… I’m so ashamed but part of me was relieved. You went to Norwest. You know how they handle things, fuck you experienced it after you came out. Kids are cruel and I didn’t want that to happen to you or me, secondhand. I thought it had been a phase that had ended just in time. I was selfish and stupid.”

Luke shook his head, “You were realistic.”

Ben gave him a weak smile, “And you were unhappy.”

“I was,” Luke admitted.

“That was worse, you know. Seeing you become this apathetic, jumpy shadow. As a kid you were so fucking confident in yourself and suddenly there was nothing left of that. Mum cried so much during that time, I can still hear it. We all thought your preference for girly things was a phase. We didn’t know anything about what you were going through. Mum had no idea, at that time, what was making you unhappy.”

Luke felt like someone had punched him in the gut.

“And then you turned fifteen.”

Luke closed his eyes. He knew what was about to come.

“Suddenly, there was light in your eyes again and a kind of vivacity that was beyond words to experience. That was better than graduating. He was a saint to me.”

Luke wanted to throw up.

When he pried his eyes open again, Ben was already waiting for him to meet his gaze, “Denahi told me what happened yesterday. Or at least what he caught of it. I called an old friend from uni. She’s specialised on popular law now. We’re gonna file a Restraining Order against Ty.”

Luke’s mouth fell open. Before he could protest, Ben cut him off, clenching his jaw, “He hurt you again, Luke. My little brother got hurt. I will not let that happen another time. I can’t. We should have done this in the hospital already. He’s not getting near you ever again.”

“I’m sorry,” Luke said. It was the only thing his mind came up with.

“Don’t be sorry,” suddenly, there was an arm curling around his shoulder and Luke was hugging his older brother, holding on for dear life as Ben rubbed his back and Luke sobbed, “Don’t ever say that you’re sorry. You are who you are and everything Ty has done is his fault, not yours. I am so proud of you, Kenai.”

Smiling, his eyes suspiciously shining, Ben pulled away. His hand fell to Luke’s left calf, squeezing tight where, usually hidden underneath the jeans Luke was wearing, black ink was capturing an eagle, its wings embracing the sublime frontal view of a wolf’s head. Ben’s free hand wandered to his ribs on the heart site of his chest where the same wolf was inked, merged with a bear instead of the eagle.

“Thank you,” Luke rasped out, dabbing his cheeks with the hem of his shirt.

“Always,” Ben replied, sheepishly wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, “Now that we’ve brought that behind us, there’s another thing we have to talk about.”

The sly smile on Ben’s face made Luke groan, hiding his face in his hands. Secretly, Luke was relieved for the change of topic, the severely lighter atmosphere it brought.

“Now as an avid viewer of LukeDoesThings I couldn’t help but notice a certain new person in your videos. And at first I was like ‘okay, cool, a new friend’, however I also couldn’t help but lose my brotherly chill when I had to witness said new person shove his tongue down your throat.”

“Oh god,” Luke clutched his face harder.

“So,” Ben grinned as he pried Luke’s hands away from his face, “care to enlighten me about that new boyfriend of yours?”

“He’s,” warmth began to spread from Luke’s stomach through his entire body, “Michael’s great. We uhm we met online because I tweeted one of his covers and from then on we just kept talking.”

“Mhm,” Ben grinned creepily at him, resting his chin on his hand as he stared at Luke, “and?”

“And then a couple of weeks ago Cali and I flew to LA for VidCon and Michael lives there so I stayed with him and yeah,” Luke suppressed the urge to hide his burning cheeks behind his hands.

“Aw,” Ben cooed before his expression turned serious, “and you’re together now?”

“He’s my boyfriend,” the warmth inside Luke’s body intensified. His chest swelled with pride at the word. Michael was _his_ , his boyfriend, “I love him.”

“Does he love you?”

Luke hated the worry in Ben’s voice, the way a tiny crease appeared between his brother’s eyebrows.

“Yes,” Luke said confidently, “he does. All of me. I mean it’s hard sometimes. He’s in LA and I’m here in Sydney and it’s hard. But I love him and he loves me and we skype almost every night, so.”

An honest smile split Ben’s face in half, “Good, I’m happy for you, Lukey.”

“Thanks, Sitka.”

“Always, little brother, always.”

*

Cursing, Luke heaved his suitcase up the last flight of stairs leading to his flat door. Truth be told, Luke was done. Not enough that he had had to get out at seven o’clock this morning to get the train back Calum had booked him, now that Luke had actually made it back, his bastard of a best friend wasn’t answering his phone. This had left Luke to pay for a cab home instead of getting picked up. Grumpily, Luke smashed his key into the assigned hole and kicked the door open, hauling his suitcase behind him.

“Honey, I’m home,” Luke called out into the seemingly empty flat. Postponing the unpacking until later, Luke kicked off his shoes before making a beeline for the kitchen. He needed a tall glass of grape juice and his couch. Luke was opening the fridge when he heard keys jostling in the front door. Finally, Calum had moved his arse back home.

Luke was preparing his speech to talk Calum into the bad conscious of the year when arms wrapped around him from behind, a nose bumped against the nape of his neck.

“Don’t think any amount of cuddles can save you,” Luke scrunched up his nose, “I had to take a cab from the train station. Do you have any idea how much-”

It was then, that Luke inhaled, his nose filling with the familiar scent of denim and aftershave and - no fucking way.

“Welcome home,” Michael’s soft voice rasped into his ear and this was not reality, this couldn’t be. Michael was miles and miles away.

“Oh my god,” breath faltering, Luke wriggled around. The box of grape juice clattering to the ground, his hands flew up and enclosed the face of his opposite. Michael. Michael was here, in Luke’s kitchen. “Oh my god.”

“Hey, baby,” Michael smiled at him, excitement singeing underneath and Luke lost it.

“You’re here,” choking on the emotions bubbling up inside him all at once, Luke threw himself at Michael.

The other boy caught him with a burst of laughter, “I am.”

“You’re here,” repeating the phrase over and over, Luke run his hands over every part of Michael he could reach. Out of the corner of his eye, Luke detected movement at the door. He didn’t bother to flip Calum or the camera he was holding off. Michael was here, with him.

“How?” Luke managed, eventually, “I thought you were on a ‘banding’ trip with Ashton.”

Michael’s smile was brighter than the sun. He kept running his hand through Luke’s hair, an almost childish glint of awe in his eyes, as if he couldn’t believe he was here either, “Well, I am on a banding trip, technically. I brought the other half of my band with me.”

“Hey, Luke,” Ashton chimed up from where he was, previously undetected, standing next to Calum in the door frame, watching them both with a fond smile.

“We got a couple of weeks off-time to write, but I was so down and useless because I missed you so much that eventually Ashton had had enough of me and changed our trip destination to Sydney.”

“You’re welcome,” Ashton giggled before pulling a pleased as punch looking Calum with him out of the kitchen.

Luke lost no time. The moment they were alone, he crashed his lips against Michael’s. Michael laughed at ferocity of it, but kissed back immediately nonetheless.

It was like breathing fresh air after having spent the past weeks under water. Luke didn’t know how he had survived this. It seemed so impossible, being even a second without Michael’s lips pressed against his. Michael’s hand was a firm pressure against the small of Luke’s back as the older boy nudged Luke’s mouth open with his tongue and Luke he could never lose this again.

“You are here,” he said as they broke for air.

“I am here,” pressing his thumb against the dimple in Luke’s cheek, Michael pulled him back in, “I am here.”


	17. Snare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Boys touching other boys. 
> 
> Enjoy! xx

Luke woke up cocooned in warmth and the smell of cologne on naked skin. Unwilling to return to full consciousness just yet, he snuggled closer, heaving his lower body half on top of Michael.

Michael let out a soft sigh in response, his embrace on Luke’s shoulders tightening, “‘s too early.”

“We can sleep,” Luke mumbled, pressing his face into the older boy’s chest. He had drifted off again before Michael could answer.

The next time Luke woke up, it was to the wet feeling of saliva against his face and a hand carding through his hair. As soon as he realised that he was indeed drooling onto Michael’s chest - the chest of a very awake, sat up against his headboard Michael - Luke jerked his head up.

Tearing his eyes away from his phone, Michael smiled down at him. The movement in Luke’s hair ceased in favour of Michael scratching his scalp lightly, “Hey, babe.”

“Morning,” Luke rasped back, smiling sheepishly. Inconspicuously, he tried to rub his drool off of Michael’s chest.

The other boy laughed, covering Luke’s hand with his own, “Don’t be embarrassed, babe. I feel honoured that you drooled on me, really. It’s cute.”

Luke groaned, rolling off of Michael and dropping his head into the sheets.

“Apart from that the lord knows worse body fluids of yours have landed on my skin.”

Michael laughed upon Luke’s offended gasp. Luke had planned to lightly slap Michael on the chest in offense, but the other boy caught Luke’s hand with a chuckle. Before Luke had realised it, Michael had encircled his other wrist as well, pressed Luke’s hands down next to his head.

A low gasp escaped Luke’s mouth when Michael rolled himself on top of him.

“What?” Michael asked, something deep and playful in his voice, “are you embarrassed about that as well?”

Luke lifted his head, pursing his lips. He wasn’t going to deny Michael his little game. There was nothing he could ever deny Michael. That didn’t mean that he was going to do so patiently, though. It was torture, really, with Michael’s full, pink lips so close. Luckily, Michael wasn’t one to deny Luke either. He pecked Luke on the mouth before latching onto a spot beneath Luke’s ear, knowing it would drive Luke crazy.

“Embarrassed about the things we’ve done?” once he was done, Michael blew on the mark he had sucked. It would take Luke a shit ton of concealer to cover that up.

“No,” Luke managed. His skin was prickling.

“Thought so,” Michael smiled up at him, his eyes twinkling before his pupils dilated back into dark orbs. Softly, he pressed his lips to Luke’s cheek, “Because you weren’t embarrassed last night when I had three fingers in you.”

Luke moaned at the pure memory. He was pretty sure nothing would be able to top their reunion sex for a long time. The thought alone of the noises Michael had made, the words he had whispered into Luke’s skin were enough to make Luke’s blood rush downwards.

“Or when I replaced them with my dick,” Michael moved his lips further down, grazing his teeth over Luke’s nipple. It made Luke’s cock twitch.

“You weren’t embarrassed at all. My impression was that you quite liked it, actually.”

“Michael.”

“I know, baby,” and like that Michael pushed himself up from where he had previously settled on Luke’s thighs and lowered himself back down onto Luke’s groin, their unclothed cocks aligning at first try. Michael lost no time. Setting a steady pace, he began to gyrate his hips.

Luke let his eyes flutter shut. The sensory overload was too much. If he allowed himself to look at Michael while the older boy was rutting against him, Luke would come right there and then. He had made that mistake once, he didn’t plan on doing it a second time.

“Fuck, Michael.” The friction was too good, he wouldn’t last either way. “Michael!”

As if on cue, the older boy’s lips found his, swallowing the row of moans and curse words Luke uttered. Michael released his hands, then, one hand curling around Luke’s shoulder instead, the other running down Luke’s side.

“I missed you,” Michael panted into his mouth. “Feels so fucking good, Lukey.”

They moaned in unison when Michael wrapped his free hand around their overheated, slick skin. His hands weren’t big enough to enclose both their cocks, but that didn’t matter. Michael’s pure touch, that extra bit of friction was enough, to send Luke tumbling over the edge.

Heat exploded at the bottom of his spine, violently rippling through him as he coated both their stomachs in white stripes. A couple of seconds later, Michael’s grip on Luke’s shoulder became painful, nails digging into Luke’s skin as Michael collapsed on top of him. He stayed on top of Luke as they came down. The aftershocks made Luke’s skin tingle.

Eventually, Luke recovered his ability to speak, “You better move off of me now, or we’re gonna be glued together.”

Michael yawned, biting lightly down on Luke’s arm where he had perched his head, “I wouldn’t mind.”

“No,” Luke smiled at the ceiling and despite the fact that there was come drying all over his stomach and everything was sweaty, he had never been more comfortable, “me neither.”

*

Luke was excited to show Michael his favourite smoothie bar. The shop was small, only a stone’s throw away from Luke’s uni. They had went there first. Swinging their intertwined hands between them, Michael had listened intently as Luke had shown him what his building looked like, told stories about his classes and professors.

“You need to try the banacherry special,” Luke said as they entered the queue leading up to the counter.

“Yeah,” Michael nodded, prying his eyes away from the multi-coloured chalk writings on the menu board behind the counter, “I think I’m just gonna let you order, actually.”

Luke laughed and squeezed the other boy’s hand. Once they had received their smoothies, they left the shop and found themselves a spot in the park nearby. The grass field was packed with other people soaking in the sun, but Michael didn’t seem to be bothered so Luke relaxed.

As soon as they had secured themselves a nice spot in the shadows of a tree, Michael spread his leather jacket on the ground for them to sit on. The small size of the space the jacket created gave Luke an excuse to press himself against his boyfriend. Michael chuckled when Luke wedged himself in between his legs. Eagerly, the dark-dyed boy draped his arm over Luke’s shoulder, rested his hand to play with the strings of Luke’s hoodie.

They drank their smoothies slowly, gossiping about the people around them and just chatting. Luke savoured every second. It was perfection to him, sitting in the sun with the boy he loved, Michael’s hand heavy in his. Like this, Luke couldn’t remember a care in the world. He was pulled back to reality quickly, however.

It was just when Luke was straining his head for a kiss that he was blinded, only for the fraction of a second. It was still long enough to tell him what was going on. Hastily, he blinked the white dots out of his vision, anxious to search Michael’s eyes. To his relief, Michael was smiling, a defeated but unbothered look in his eyes. Michael nodded infinitesimally, telling Luke to go for it.

Squeezing Michael’s hand in thanks, Luke tilted his head to the side, quickly locating the source of the flash as a purple-cased iPhone. The case was from his fanshop. Luke smiled at the girl attached to the phone. She was sitting on a blanket a few metres away, two other girls by her side. With a reluctant sigh, Luke let go of Michael and scrambled to his feet. Three pairs of eyes widened in panic as he approached them.

Smiling, Luke crouched down in front of the girls, “Don’t you wanna come over and take a real selfie?

Ten minutes later, the girl with the phone and her two quivering, insanely embarrassed looking  friends had spread their blanket out in front of Luke and Michael’s. After the initial hysteria and hugging, Luke had invited them. It was rare that he got the opportunity to spend time with fans like this, like they were normal friends, like Luke wanted to.

Right now, the girl with the phone - Carissa, as she had introduced herself - was holding a monologue about how thankful she was that Luke had invited them. Carissa’s friend, a curvy ball of energy named Imogen was jumping in from time to time, assuring Luke “how amazing and uber cool” he was and how much they loved him. Vanessa, the third girl of the party that reminded Luke of an amazone with her olive complexion and piercing green eyes, kept silent, her eyes constantly flicking between Luke and Michael, her bottom lip almost disappearing into her mouth with how intently she was chewing on it.

Luke counted backwards in his head. A quick look backwards at Michael told him that the other boy was waiting as well, the amused curve to his smile being treacherous. They didn’t have to wait much longer.

“You guys are so cute together!” Vanessa burst eventually, coaxing horrified gasps out of her friends.

Despite the fact that he had anticipated it, the compliment still made Luke blush. It only got worse when he felt Michael’s lips against his hair, then Michael’s chin digging into his shoulder.

“Thanks,” Michael lilted and Luke could hear the smug expression in his voice.

“Yeah, thank you,” he said, sincerely, making the girl’s eyes light up as she saw how much it meant to him.

She nodded, “No problem.”

“Can I ask a question?” Carissa inquired, her expression hopeful.

Luke and Michael exchanged a quick look. Michael shrugged and Luke told her to go for it.

“Who’s the little spoon?” the girl asked with an intensity in her eyes that made it seem like her life depended on the answer.

Luke couldn’t help but laugh. He had expected way worse, “I am, mostly.”

“That’s because I like the way he curls up into a tiny ball, perfect to wrap myself around,” Michael added.

The girls nodded solemnly while Luke was trying hard not to splutter.

“And I love the way you get all embarrassed when I tell people,” Michael added quietly, only for him to hear. Luke squeezed Michael’s hand, rested his head back on Michael’s shoulder while the girls took turns with asking questions. Most of them were easy, either focussing on miniscule, harmless details of Luke and Michael’s relationship or on one of Luke’s videos. The few inappropriate ones Michael fended off with a straight out tell-off. The girls seemed to take it lightly.

They had chatted for a good hour when Carissa explained that it was time for her to go as her mother was waiting for her to get home for lunch. Her two friends were loyal and left with her.

“That was interesting,” Michael said once the girls were out of earshot.

“It was good,” Luke smiled after them, “I’ve never talked so nicely with fans, I think.”

“I’m glad you’re happy, babe.”

“I love you,” Luke mused, blinking starry-eyed at the other boy.

Michael grinned, pulling Luke closer, “I love you too. Show me the shopping district?”

*

“Babe,” Michael tried, not for the first time.

Luke inched away from him with a huff, one thigh falling into the bus aisle.

“Babe,” Michael repeated, whining this time. He frowned as Luke didn’t give him much more than an eyeroll. Michael had to admit that it stung when the blond boy shook him off in favour of staggering towards the bus doors. Michael followed, stumbling as the bus came to a rattling halt.

Luke continued to ignore him on the short walk from the bus stop to the blond boy’s flat.

“Luke,” Michael whined when Luke stomped to a halt in front of his apartment building. The blond boy clenched his jaw, busy looking for his keys. “Please talk to me, baby. This is getting ridiculous.”

“Oh no!” Luke’s head snapped up, the cold fire in his blue eyes making Michael take a step back. Luke followed, jabbing his finger into Michael’s chest, “Do you wanna know what’s ridiculous? You spending money on something to gift to me when I explicitly told you not to do it.”

“I just wanted to make you happy!”

“See this,” Luke pinched the bridge of his nose, “this is the problem.”

Michael pouted. Luke’s expression softened when he looked up and saw it. With a sigh, he stepped closer to Michael, taking his hand, “I know you didn’t mean to offend me. But I really don’t want any kind of present from you. You’re my present. I don’t need you buying me shit to woo me or something. I’m already yours, okay?”

“Okay,” Michael sighed, clutching the bag in his hand, “Love you?”

Luke smiled, dimple appearing, “I love you, too.”

“You didn’t want me to return the bath bombs, though, do you? Because I was really looking forward to taking that Blueberry Sun God Sparkle bath with you,” Michael sighed dramatically and Luke snorted.

“No, I-” the blond boy broke off, the smile dropping from his face. His eyes fixated on something behind Michael’s shoulder.

“Luke?” Michael asked. He didn’t get an answer. Furrowing his brows, Michael turned around, followed Luke’s line of vision. The street was empty, nothing but a few cars parking on the curb.

“What’s up, babe?” Michael asked, suppressing the urge to shake Luke, if lightly. He didn’t have to. The next moment, Luke was shaking his head before blinking at him, a sheepish smile making its way onto his face.

“Nothing, nothing, sorry. I thought I saw something but my eyes were playing a trick on me. Let’s go inside. Now that you’ve mentioned it, I really want that Blueberry Sun God Sparkle bath,” Luke grinned at him and Michael felt his shoulders relax.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

He stole a kiss before letting Luke pull him upstairs.


	18. Plectrum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Boys touching other boys. 
> 
> Enjoy! xx

Ashton and Calum were lying on the couch when Luke and Michael entered the flat, a good amount of empty Maccas wrappers littered around them.

“Hey, guys!” Calum sat up, “Sorry, we would have waited for you but Ashton was hungry, so - OW!” with a yelp, Calum broke off, glaring daggers at an unimpressed looking Ashton. Unashamedly, the curly-haired boy pulled his leg back under his blanket before turning towards Luke and Michael.

“For reference,” Ashton said, “he was the first to open a Long Chicken.”

“Traitor,” Calum mumbled at the far wall before looking at Michael and Luke. “In any case, we’re gonna hit the club tonight so whatever you have planned to do the rest of the day, make sure you’re fit tonight.”

“Promise,” Luke dimpled before pulling Michael off into his bedroom. As soon as he had pulled the door shut behind them, Luke turned towards Michael, “Get naked.”

Michael grinned, “Now that’s what I like to hear.”

Luke rolled his eyes at him before walking off to the dresser next to his bed. While Luke rummaged through one of the drawers, Michael did as he was told. He was down to his boxers when Luke threw something big and fluffy at him. It turned out to be a bathrobe.

“Aw,” Michael pouted, “but I just got naked.”

“Yeah, and our best friends still sit in the living room, so at the off chance that one of them meets us in the hallway you’re gonna put that on.”

Michael sighed dreamily, “I love it when you do that.”

Luke furrowed his brows as he tied his own bathrobe close, “What?”

“Being all bossy and shit. It’s hot.”

Michael laughed as Luke huffed, “Well, for that one you don’t get to see me strip. Follow me in five.”

Michael’s protest was cut off by Luke pecking him on the lips, then making a beeline for the door. The moment the door had fallen shut behind Luke, Michael scurried over to his suitcase. He was close to emptying its contents on to the ground when he finally found what he had been looking for. A quick glance to the alarm clock on the bedside table told him it had been three minutes by now. Luke would have to deal, he decided.

There was soft music playing when Michael entered the bathroom. Luke was already half-submerged in the bathtub. Michael dropped his bath robe next to the docking station before he entered the tub as well, folding his legs so his knees were bumping with Luke’s.

“Did you film it when you put the bath bomb in?”

Luke chuckled, water sloshing over the rim as he sat up to give Michael more space, “Maybe.”

“What a good vlogger you are,” Michael commended, running his fingers through the glittery golden water. It looked like they were bathing in molten gold. It fit Luke.

A gasp of protest escaped Michael when he was hit in the face by a load of water. Roaring, he splashed back, making Luke squeal. They fought on for a little while before eventually, Luke ended up straddling his thighs.

Giggling, the blond boy ran his hands through Michael’s hair in order to create a mohawk. There was a blob of foam in Luke’s own hair, dark streaks running down his cheeks where his make-up had been washed off. Gently, Michael clasps his hands around Luke’s face, using his thumbs to wipe the remnants off. The motion made Luke’s movement in his hair stop. Luke looked down at him with a mesmerised expression.

Michael didn’t know how long they stayed like this, just holding each others faces, drinking in the sight of the other. Eventually, Luke puffed out his cheeks to make Michael’s hands slip from his face. Michael laughed, the sound dying in his throat when he noticed the crease in between Luke’s eyebrows.

“What’s up, babe?”

Luke blinked, his cheeks and neck turning a bright red that had nothing to do with the hot steam around them. “Uhm.”

Michael leaned forward, “Yes?”

“I was just thinking of something,” Luke plastered a weak smile onto his face, “‘s nothing. Forget it.”

“No,” Michael plucked Luke’s hands out of his hair and intertwined their fingers instead, “Tell me.”

“Do you,” Luke bit his lips and Michael squeezed his hands, “like me better without make-up?” Michael inhaled and Luke shifted on top of him, “Be honest, please.”

“At the beginning, yes,” Michael admitted, “it was strange seeing a boy with make-up. And yes, it made me feel more comfortable watching your vlogs where you don’t wear it.”

Luke nodded, his gaze falling to a spot somewhere on Michael’s chest.

“But then,” Luke looked back up and Michael smiled at him, “then I watched more of your videos and I discovered that, actually, the look I like best on you is happy. You’re happy with make-up on. People strive their whole lives to be happy. You found something that makes you feel that way. Don’t ever give that up, no matter how many people think they are entitled to try and take that away from you.”

Michael prayed that if he turned eighty and demented, the way Luke was looking at him right now would stay with him.

“You’re such a sap,” Luke mumbled, pressing his lips to Michael’s.

“Mhm,” Michael hummed and wrapped his arms around Luke’s waist, pulling the other boy closer, “your sap.”

Luke groaned and buried his face in Michael’s neck.

“I meant it, though.”

“I love you,” Luke blew cold air against the crook where Michael’s shoulder met his neck, “I do love you.”

Michael tilted his head to the side. Pliantly, Luke pushed himself up enough for a kiss. Michael didn’t let him go and Luke followed, settled himself so they were pressed flush together. It was brilliant, the feeling of Michael’s tongue in his mouth, Michael’s hands roaming his body. The feeling of Michael’s dick, slowly but surely becoming harder and digging into his hip was enough to make Luke’s blood rush downwards. He couldn’t describe how good it felt, the knowledge that Michael desired him, wanted to be with him like that.  

“Fuck, Luke,” Michael broke for air before immediately reconnecting their lips. Luke understood. The water seemed charged, making his skin tingle where it touched Michael’s. Luke moaned when he felt Michael bite down on his bottom lip. The older boy bucked his hips and Luke’s eyes rolled into the back of his head with how good the friction felt on his now fully hard cock.

“Wait,” Luke sat up, a little breathlessly, lifting the better part of his body out of the water, “Do you?”

“Course,” Michael smirked up at him. Luke couldn’t help but groan silently at the swollen state of his lips. “I came prepared.”

Luke watched in awe as Michael lifted his arms out of the water and stretched himself to grip the bathrobe he had discarded on the tiled floor. A second later, Michael sunk back into the water small bottle of lube in hand. Luke took the bottle out of Michael’s hands, popping the cap open.

He looked up at Michael with a manic grin, “I fucking love you.”

Michael took the bottle back, squeezing some of it onto his fingers before gripping Luke’s ass with lube-slick hands and pulling him back beneath the surface and against his groin. Luke moaned at the double sensation of having their dicks being pressed back against each other and Michael’s finger entering him. His ass was still sore from their reunion frenzy, but the warm water surrounding them was helping his muscles relax.

“This okay?” Michael asked as he began circling his finger, pushed a second one in.

“Yeah,” Luke rested his forehead against Michael’s shoulder, breathing heavily against the burn of the stretch, “I can take it.”

Michael nodded, began peppering kisses against the side of Luke’s face as he opened him up.

“You’re doing so well, baby,” Michael said.

He crooked his fingers, the index finger grazing that bundle of nerves and Luke moaned, his grip on Michael’s upper arm tightening. He felt himself getting impatient. Michael’s finger felt fantastic inside of him, but it wasn’t enough. Luke needed more. He needed Michael.

“I’m ready,” Luke said, hoisting himself into a more upright position, effectively causing Michael’s fingers to slip out of him.

“You sure?” Michael asked, green eyes full of concern.

“Absolutely,” to emphasise his point, Luke pressed a kiss to his lover’s lips. After a few seconds, Michael was relaxing. He lifted a hand out of the water and raised it to Luke’s cheek. It was the same hand that he had previously used to open Luke up. Luke grinned deviously into their kiss, savouring the aborted noise Michael uttered when Luke let his hand slip down with a splash and encircled the base Michael’s cock.

“F-fuck, Luke,” Michael groaned, his eyes fluttering close. Michael’s lips stayed on his skin, reflexively pressed open-mouthed kisses to Luke’s clavicle while Luke brought himself in position. He sunk himself down slowly, the sensation of Michael’s cock stretching him open that much further pressing all the air out of his lungs, making him hiss.

Michael gripped his hips, guiding him down slowly, words of encouragement spilling from his lips. Luke sealed them with his own the same moment his arse cheeks hit Michael’s hip bones. He wrapped his arm around Michael’s neck for balance before pushing himself back up.

Eyes glazed over and pupils blown, Michael watched Luke as the blond boy build up a slow but steady rhythm, hoisting himself up before sinking back down. Luke’s head fell back when he felt Michael’s nails dig into his thigh, mellow pain enhancing the sensation of Michael’s cock inside him. The water made Luke’s movements more sluggish, it was more difficult to fasten his pace.

Michael seemed to understand. He gripped Luke’s hips, helping him slam back down. They moaned in unison at the new angle Michael’s hands brought.

“M-Michael,” Luke choked out. Heat was pooling rapidly at the bottom of his stomach.

“I know,” Michael panted, “me too.”

The thought that Michael was just as close as him spurred Luke. He wanted Michael to come before him, feel the other boy come undone beneath him. Almost frantically, Luke bounced up and down. He purposely clenched his muscles, massaging Michael’s dick inside him.

It worked. Not a minute later, Michael’s grip on his hips was becoming incredibly tight and then the older boy’s hips stuttered before stilling. The knowledge that there would be bruises where Michael’s fingers were right now was enough to tip Luke over the edge. Hot pleasure erupted at the bottom of his spine. Muscles turning into jelly, Luke collapsed on top of Michael as waves of bliss coursed through him. He winced, once, when Michael pulled out, but was consoled by a kiss to his temple. Afterwards the dark-dyed boy flopped him around. Luke let himself being manhandled with gratitude. Once he was settled against Michael, his back pressed to the other boy’s chest, he let his eyes flutter close. Feeling Michael intertwine their fingers again, Luke mushed his face into the crook of his neck. Like this, they soaked in the water while the last of bubbles around them vanished.

*

“You never told me you got a tattoo,” Michael said as soon as they were cuddled up in bed. After their bathtub frenzy, Luke had decided that they needed to hold an afternoon nap session, especially regarding Calum’s plans for the night.

“Yeah,” Luke couldn’t stifle the yawn that escaped him, “I got it when I was eighteen.”

“It’s cool. I like the motive. The wolf looks badass.”

Luke felt something warm spread through his bones. “Thank you. I got it with my brothers. I mean they have tattoos as well. It’s a family thing.”

“Really?” Michael raised his brows, genuinely intrigued, “Tell me about it.”

“Uhm,” Luke felt his cheeks burn as he looked down. He knew the shame he felt was irrational. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Luke forced himself to look Michael in the eye as he talked. Michael wouldn’t be weirded out. Michael loved him. Luke had several voice memos, bruises on his hips and a sore ass to prove. “When I was a kid I was kinda like obsessed with this Disney movie, Brother Bear?”

Michael nodded, indicating that he knew the film.

Luke smiled at the memory, “I watched it like a bazillion times. I put it on when I was sad and when I was happy to the point that my mum had to buy a new DVD because the old one was scratched and yeah, Jack eventually started calling me Kenai after the main character.”

“Aw,” Michael cooed, squeezing their joined hands, “that’s cute.”

“I liked it because that uhm he, Kenai, was kind of the reason I liked the movie. When he turns into a bear, when you first see it you can’t really tell like… the bears, the way they were drawn… you couldn’t tell what their gender was. And even after Kenai chose his other body his brothers still loved him and…” Luke broke off. Something inside his chest had gotten too tight. He took a deep breath. “It kind of became a thing after that. We got the tattoos once I was legal. The eagle is for my brother Ben, the wolf for my other brother Jack. It’s a reference to their characters’ spirit animals.”

“That’s so freaking cool.” Michael whispered. Luke smiled. After a moment, Michael asked, “What’s your animal?”

“Bear,” Luke felt the blush rising to his cheeks again, “The bear of love.”

Luke had expected Michael to coo again, and maybe tease him.

Instead the older boy moved closer, bright green eyes gleaming, until his face was inches away from Luke’s, “I can believe that.”

Michael’s breath was hot against his lips and Luke fell hard, fell even harder in love with him than before. Giving in to the burst of affection setting his chest on fire, Luke surged forward and pressed their lips together.


	19. Vocals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to [Phoebe](http://mikeyslucas.tumblr.com/), happy birthday babe!

Luke ran. Clutching the straps of his backpack, he pushed his feet harder off the ground.

“Sorry!” he called out when he jumbled a group of girls in his way. Panicking, he looked back at them. One of the girls was in his Biology class, he thought, “So sorry!”

He didn’t slow down, a mistake as he realised in the next second. Full force he crashed into something soft yet solid, sending him tumbling to the ground. He was caught before his ass hit the gravel ways connecting the different university buildings with each other.

“Luke?”

A little shaken, Luke scrambled to his feet, turning around to face his boyfriend. “Michael? What are you doing here?”

The dark-haired boy blinked at him, “I was waiting for you. I asked Calum what building you had your classes in so I could surprise you with this,” Michael lifted the small paper bag in his hand before frowning, “why were you running like that? You looked like the devil was chasing your or something.”

“I…” Luke felt his heart muscles clench. Though that could have been his terrible endurance, “I saw you.”

Michael raised his brows, “You saw me?”

Luke forced a sheepish smile onto his face, “Yeah, I saw you. Wanted to run into your arms all movie-like and stuff.”

“Oh,” after a moment of contemplation, Michael relaxed, “okay.”

“What’s in the bag?” Luke asked, pressing a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

The corners of Michael’s mouth curled upwards, “I bought magazines.”

Luke tilted his head to the side, “Oh?”

“Not that kind of magazines, you horndog!”

Luke laughed, “Well, I’m glad. I’m pretty sure my ass couldn’t handle another fuck fest.”

“Well, first of all, what we do is not a fuck fest,” Michael huffed, “When we do it, I am making sweet lovin’ to you.”

“Sure.”

Michael rolled his eyes, the fond smile spreading over his lips betraying his fake annoyance. “In any case these are not that kind of magazines. They are still special, though.”

“And how so?”

“These magazines,” triumphantly, Michael pulled one of the tabloids out of the bag, turning the cover for Luke to see, “all have your face on the cover somewhere.”

Luke groaned, “Oh my god, no you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did,” Michael beamed, “my boyfriend is famous, this means I have a right to make fun of it. Also some of them are talking about us and I am interested in that.”

“You’re crazy,” Luke informed the other boy.

“I know,” playfully, Michael slapped his butt, “crazy for you.”

*

“Calum, you inglorious bastard, come here!” Michael called out the moment they set foot into Luke’s flat.

“What is going on?” Calum asked, popping his head out of the kitchen.

“Nice movie reference,” Ashton chimed from where he was perched around the dinner table, scrolling through his phone. His eyes stayed glued to the screen.

“Babe,” Michael said, taking Calum’s hand.

Calum frowned, looking down at their joined hands, “What the-”

“It’s time,” Michael uttered a dramatic sigh, “we have to tell Luke about us.”

“Let go of Calum’s hand, Michael,” Ashton whispered quietly. He was overtoned by the strangled sob Luke let out, clasping a hand over his mouth.

“What?!” Eyes widening, Calum shook Michael off of him, “No!”

Panicking, he turned towards Luke. “Luke, I swear this is some lame joke, I’d never…”

He was cut off by Michael bursting into a fit of laughter, Luke following shortly after.

After another few seconds of confused frowning, Calum’s expression turned sour instead, “I swear to god you are such arseholes!”

Throwing his hands into the air in exasperation, Calum stomped back into the kitchen.

“No, Cali!” Luke whined and walked after Calum quickly. Michael sighed. Luke’s heart was too pure, too good for any kind of shenanigans. He found the blond boy wrapped around their friend, clinging to Calum’s neck when he walked in.

“Woho, looks like I am actually the one who has to watch out for a cheating boyfriend?”

A second later, Michael had an arm full of non-binary person in his arms.

“Never,” Luke assured him, pressing their lips together quickly.

“Yeah, before you two end up sucking face, could one of you be so kind and explain to me what the heck is going on?” Calum asked, leaning with his hip against the kitchen counter.

“Michael bought some magazines,” Luke sighed, “they pulled a pic of twitter where you two were talking at the club. The headline is that Michael was cheating on me with you.”

“That one is my favourite,” Michael grinned, throwing the respective magazine at Calum who caught it with ease, “it says Luke and I had sex in a VidCon bathroom.”

Calum’s eyes widened before he opened the magazine.

“Ew,” Ashton contributed from the next room.

“This is ridiculous,” Calum frowned, “why are they so invested?”

“Sex sells,” Michael shrugged, throwing his arm around Luke’s shoulder.

The blond boy nodded, “It doesn’t bother me.”

“It’s still not right,” Calum grumbled, “fucked up, actually.”

Luke rested his head against Michael’s, “It’s not like we can do much about it.”

Michael, beside him, suddenly went rigid, “Actually…”

The older boy’s eyes were gleaming with mischief when Luke turned to look at him, “You have an idea?”

Luke could practically see the cogs turn inside his boyfriend’s head, “Yeah, I think I do.”

*

Luke pressed the replay button for the upteenth time, giggling. He wasn’t the only one. The hit counter of the Instagram video was rising in steps of hundreds. On screen Luke saw himself, reading the magazine that had spread the cheating rumour. The shot changed to one of Calum and Michael, sitting on the couch all cuddled up together, then back to Luke, frowning. Another cut and Michael and Calum were looking into the camera, shocked expression on their faces as if they had been caught. Calum downing a bottle of beer in the background, the final shot showed Luke grinning into the camera while Michael was obscenely sucking on the side of his face.

“Are we a little bit obsessed?”, Michael lilted into his ear, from where he was lying next to Luke in bed.

Caught, Luke locked his phone before wriggling around so he was facing his boyfriend, “Maybe.”

“Mhm,” Michael smiled, “as long as it’s me you’re obsessing over, I think I can live with that.”

Luke smiled into their kiss. Right when he wanted to roll himself on top of Michael, the other boy stopped him. Pouting, Luke pried his eyes open.

“I know, I know, sorry, I swear I want to kiss you too,” Michael laughed at his expression, “I just have to pee, I swear.”

With a dramatic sigh, Luke rolled himself back onto his back, “Fine, leave me.”

“I love you,” Michael lilted, already sliding off the bed.   
Granting Luke a great view of his arse, Michael sauntered towards the door. He was only clad in black boxerbriefs and Luke couldn’t help the tingling sensation in his stomach as he watched the vast expanses of pale skin move.

“Enjoying the view?” Michael smirked at him when Luke looked up to find that he had been caught.

Inconspicuously hiding the burning of his cheeks behind his hands, Luke shot his boyfriend a sheepish smile, “Maybe.”

“I’ll hurry,” Michael assured him, laughing, before disappearing through the door. The door hadn’t fallen shut behind Michael yet when Luke felt his stomach sink. As if on cue, his phone rang.

*

Michael ran into Ashton on his way from the bathroom to the kitchen. His original plan had been to get himself a glass of water (and maybe some whipped cream if he happened to find some in the fridge.) He stopped short, however, when he saw the red-rimmed state of Ashton’s eyes.

“Ash?”

The curly-haired boy came to a halt. Previously, he had paced between the TV and couch table. His blankets and pillow on the couch were rumpled, as if he had slept and then gotten up.

“Huh? Oh, Michael.”

Feeling his brows furrow, Michael took a step forward, “Ash, are you alright?”

Ashton blinked at him, gaping slightly. Then, suddenly, he snapped his mouth shut and a sheepish smile overtook his features. “Yeah, sorry,” he shrugged, “it’s nothing.”

Michael’s frown deepened, “It’s enough to make you cry.” He sat himself down on top of Ashton’s rumpled blanket heap and patted the space next to him, “Sit and tell me.”

After a moment of hesitation that Michael used to roll his eyes at his oldest friend, Ashton obliged and slumped down next to Michael. The black-dyed boy waited patiently. Several seconds passed, then Ashton opened his mouth. They were interrupted, even before Ashton had spoked the first word. A loud bang sounded from the end of the small hallway.

Michael and Ashton exchanged a look, then Michael jumped up, Ashton hot on his heels as he ran down the small hallway and barged into Luke’s room.

Michael’s heart stopped when he found the bed empty, began racing when he found Luke in front of the window instead, curled into a ball on the ground.

Hastily, Michael bridged the distance between them, “Luke! Fuck, Luke!”

His boyfriend was shaking, downright quivering, a weird hiccuping sound escaping him in uneven intervals. Michael remembered the sight, back when they had attended VidCon and Luke and the rest of them had ended up in a dingy restroom after they had gotten mobbed. Panic attack.

“Luke,” Michael tried again, softer this time, crouching down in front of Luke, “Lukey, I’m here.”

The blond boy whimpered and flinched away when Michael tried to pry his hands away from his face. Michael ignored the pinch of rejection in his chest. This wasn’t Luke’s fault.

“Please, tell me how I can help you,” Michael begged. He could see Luke’s breathing becoming more ragged by the second.

“Luke, do you want me to call an ambulance?” Ashton asked from Luke’s other side. His hazel eyes were trained on Luke’s head, gaze clouded with worry.

“N-no,” Luke choked out, hands falling from his face as he pulled himself into a sitting position.  Michael became ferocious at the sight of Luke’s face all red and blotchy, he longed to obliterate whatever had caused this. A second later, his stomach turned at the realisation that it might be him. Frantically, he replayed all the events of the night, but pulled a blank. It wasn’t him, or at least he thought so.

“Luke, please, what can I do?”

The helplessness was driving Michael insane. It was excruciating, watching Luke suffer without the ability to help him. Luke’s eyes met his, piercing and dull at the same time. Michael knew even before Luke wrenched out the words.

“Go away,” Luke’s voice was barely above a whisper when he answered, so quiet that Michael nearly had to ask for him to repeat his words.

“What?” Michael felt like someone had frozen time and his blood, in an instant, “What do you- what?”

“Go away!” Luke yelled at him, full volume yelled at him, “Leave! I said go away!” It would have hurt less if Luke would have lashed out.

“Luke?” Michael didn’t comprehend what Luke was telling him. He couldn’t.

“Go away!” This time, Luke did lash out. He didn’t push Michael hard, the violent spasming of his muscles making the hit about as hard as the one of a baby. It hurt more than if he would have taken a knife.

“Luke,” Michael tried. He could feel tears form in his eyes. No. Michael didn’t cry, he never did. “You don’t mean that. Please, just talk to me, baby. We can figure this out, we-”

“There is no ‘we’!”, Luke roared, “don’t you get it, Michael? I want you to leave! I want you to leave and not come back!”

“W-what?”

“Leave me the fuck alone and don’t come back!”

“Luke, what are you talking about, I-”

“Michael,” Luke growled and sat up, chest heaving. The shortness of breath muted him for a few seconds, “I told you to leave. Leave my flat and my life.”

Michael caught himself gaping, “You don’t mean that. You’re just having a panic attack or-”

“I mean every word!” Luke hissed, bent to press out the words as deadly serious as he could, “I mean it, Michael, I want you to leave. We can’t be together anymore. Don’t you get that?”

Violently, Michael shook his head, “But we were fine, we- what happened? Why are you saying this?”

“I am saying this because it’s what I need you to do. I changed my mind. I don’t want you anymore. This whole thing,” Luke waved his hand between them, “was a mistake.”

 _A mistake._ Michael wavered, was steadied by Ashton who had, sometime during the conversation, moved away from Luke’s side and taken a stance behind him. Ashton pulled him to his feet, his hand staying on Michael’s arm.

Slowly, Michael began walking backwards. He was waiting for Luke, _his_ Luke, to return. Whoever was sitting on the floor right now wasn’t Luke, Michael was sure, and yet… _I don’t want you anymore._ It made sense. Luke had always been more than him, in every aspect. More beautiful, more deserving of the good things that happened to him, deserving of so much more than Michael.

“If I walk through that door, I’m gone. So if this is some sick game, then tell me right now, or I’m gone for good.” It was desperate, and pathetic, Michael knew as much, but he had to do it. He had to try. For the fraction of a second, Michael believed to see the flash of something in Luke’s eyes, but then the moment was over and Luke’s face remained impassive. This was happening. This was actually and in all reality happening.

“Okay,” Michael said. He closed his eyes, just to make the shattering of his heart more bearable. It didn’t help. Heaving in a breath, Michael turned around and made a beeline for the front door of the apartment- He collected Ashton on the way as he walked by the couch. There was no hand holding Michael back, no voice calling out for him to stop. Nothing but the sound of the door falling shut behind him and his heart breaking.


	20. Drums

Cursing, Calum jammed his key into the keyhole, a triumphant grunt escaping his lips when the door finally sprung open. He knew something was up when he walked into his living room just to find Luke sitting on their couch, long legs folded up against his chest, the ratty old blanket Luke had brought all the way from their suburb draped over his body. Luke's cerulean eyes continued to blankly stare at the TV while Calum walked over. A spanish soap opera was playing on the screen. Luke didn't know any spanish. It was around then that Calum realised there was no eyeliner surrounding Luke's eyes, no make-up on Luke's face in general which meant he had taken it off which meant that it probably had been ruined, even more probably by tears. The blank expression on Luke's face told Calum all the rest. And fuck if he wasn’t too drunk for this.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Calum slumped down next to him, "What did you do?”

Luke flinched as if he had been pinched back into reality by Calum’s voice.

“What?” he croaked out, voice all raspy as if he had been yelling, or crying. Both, probably.

“What did you do?” Calum repeated, his tongue tediously wrapping around the vowels.

Luke furrowed his brows at him, his nostrils flaring as Calum’s breath hit his face, “Are you plastered? Why did you go out alone?”

It was a defense strategy, one Calum knew too well. Unimpressed, he leaned forward, deciding to pinch right into the muscle, “Where is Michael?”

It worked. In an instant, Luke crumbled, falling back into the sofa.

“What did you do?” Calum repeated.

“How do you know it was me?”

“Because I know you. If it would have been Michael you would be sobbing in his arms right now. You wear your heart on your sleeve, Luke,” Calum smiled, much wider than he had intended but he couldn’t quite control his face muscles anymore, “Unless you’re trying to hide something. So what did you do?”

Luke’s bottom lip began to quiver and then he was hiding his face in his hands, “I fucked up, Cali. I fucked up really badly.”

 _At least I’m not the only one_ , Calum thought, pushing Luke until the blond boy rested his head against his shoulder. A bit sluggishly, Calum pushed his hand into Luke’s hair, scraping his nails gently over the side of Luke’s head, “Tell me.”

“I broke up with him.”

“You WHAT?” Calum hadn’t intended to have the sentence come out like a shout. That didn’t mean he didn’t feel justified doing so, though. “Why?!”

“I had to.”

“What kind of bullshit statement is that supposed to be? What happened?”

“Nothing happened, I just didn’t want him anymore.”

“Luke, are you crazy?” Calum knew he had said the wrong thing when all emotion drained from Luke’s face, leaving nothing but a blank stare.

“Yes,” Luke said, toneless. His eyes fell back to the TV. “It’s better this way.”

“It is better- you love him and fuck if he doesn’t love you! Why would you throw that away?”

 _Too obvious_ , Calum scolded himself, but he couldn’t help it. His body was buzzing with unreleased energy, making his muscles twitch. Before he knew it, he was standing, towering over Luke, “Give me your phone!”

“What,” Luke scowled and pressed the device against his chest, “no!”

“Yes!” Calum grunted and short-handedly tackled Luke onto the sofa, wringing the phone from Luke’s hands.

“What are you doing?” Luke pressed out from where Calum was straddling his rib cage, his hands uselessly pushing against Calum’s stomach.

“I’m texting Michael so that you two can talk it out and become the happy couple again.”

“Stop, Calum!” Luke felt his stomach drop. Calum couldn’t do that, he would mess everything up, he- “You don’t know what you’re doing! If I get back with him, Ty will tell him!”

Luke realised his mistake the same moment Calum’s thumb fell down on the sending button.

“Ty?” Calum asked, his eyes narrowing, “What the fuck has Bellagio to do with this?”

Ceasing all efforts to struggled free, Luke avoided his gaze, “Uhm…”

“Luke!”

The blonde boy heaved in a breath.

“Luke, we got a restraining order! What did he do?”

 _Shit._ In a vain effort to hide his face, Luke pressed his hand to his forehead, “Ty was there on campus today and uhm before that I saw him a couple of times, but-”

“So you mean he’s been stalking you?” It was obvious that Calum was seconds away from combusting.

“Uh,” Luke cleared his throat, “I mean I wasn’t sure until tonight when he…”

“Lukey,” Calum growled, “stop letting me have to pull every word out of your mouth. Tell me now!”

Luke bit his lip, “He called me tonight and,” his eyes began to burn, “and he was outside. He said that I had to break up with Michael or he would tell him what I’ve done.”

Calum sat back with a quiet “Oh.”

Luke felt ocean tides of self-loathing course through his chest. He knew it was partially due to his dysphoric state, but in the end his dysphoria only served as an amplifier of the shame he felt. _If you stay with him, Luke, you’re gonna ruin his life. Don’t you think he deserves better than that?_ And Ty was right. Michael did.

That wasn’t the only thing Ty had told him, but Luke couldn’t tell Calum any of it. He knew Calum would say it wasn’t true and that itself would have been a lie. Luke was a monster, and that had nothing to do with the way he liked to look. He had allowed himself to think differently because it had been so easy to believe Michael with his pretty mouth and even prettier words leaving it. In the end, it didn’t matter.

Luke and Calum both flinched when Luke’s phone in Calum’s hand went off ringing.

“Uhm, it’s Michael,” Calum said, handing Luke the phone.

Luke stared at the screen for a moment before he let his thumb slam down on the accept button and pressed the phone to his ear, “Hi.”

There was a beat of silence on the other end, then Michael was answering him, “Hey.” His voice was cold. Luke deserved that; it still hurt, though, “You want to meet up?”

Did he? Luke looked at Calum who nodded frantically, motioning to text. So that was what he had told Michael in his text.

“Yeah,” Luke rasped out, digging his nails into his knee.

“Good.” A sigh, then, “Are you alright?”

A cold hand seized Luke’s gut. Even after he had broken up with him, Michael still wanted to know he felt.

“I’m alright, “Luke wasn’t but that wasn’t what Michael had asked. “The attack ended shortly after you left. Michael, can we-”  

“No, Luke. Do you even know what you have done? You can’t just treat people like that, me.”

Luke could feel tears well up in his eyes and he hated the fact that he was unable even the slightest distress without crying like a baby. But then this was more than slight distress. He had hurt Michael. Fuck, he had broken up with him.

“I’m sorry, Michael, I-”

“We’re staying at the Annendale,” Michael cut him off coolly. “There’s a restaurant, just down the street it’s called Casa Bianca. Let’s meet there tomorrow for lunch,” after a breath of silence Michael added, “and talk this out.”

“Okay, yes,” Luke inhaled deeply, “okay. I’m sorry. I love you.”

Michael hung up.

*

Luke spotted Michael’s silhouette from afar. They had decided to meet at the fountain in front of the hotel and then walk to the hotel together. Michael’s bored blank expression hardened infinitesimally when he spotted Luke. Without so much as a greeting, Michael began walking the moment Luke had reached him. Luke hurried to follow. He could feel Michael’s hurt, it was oozing off of him in waves, every single one pulling Luke under.

Cold, crisp air filled Luke’s lungs as they walked down the sidewalks. He kept his eyes on the cracks in the concrete. Michael was breathing heavily next to him and Luke swallowed. He wasn’t used to this. As long as they had known each other, they had always been able to talk, they had always been able to touch. Luke would have given everything for Michael to grab his hand right now. He had underestimated what it would do to him to be near Michael again.

“I called in and made a reservation so they should be quick,” Michael said once they were standing infront of the reception desk. The place was fancy, but cozy, small, dimly-lit booths creating a romantic atmosphere. Luke would have loved to go to a place like this with Michael under different circumstances. Now the romantic atmosphere made him choke.

True to Michael’s word, the hostess nodded once Michael had told her his last name and they were lead to a booth next to a window.

“Get whatever you want,” Luke said the moment they had sat down, “I’m buying.”

Michael lifted his gaze from the menu he had picked up, “I don’t need your money, Luke.”

Luke flinched at the small whimper that escaped him. Frantically, he bit his bottom lip, praying Michael hadn’t heard. The black-dyed boy had.

His features softened and he nodded, “Okay,” then he grinned, a little coolly but Luke could see beyond that, “but I’m not getting a salad, so you better brought your credit card.”

Luke wanted to laugh in relief, “I did. Seriously, get whatever you want.”

Michael nodded, his beautiful green eyes falling back to the menu in his hand, but Luke could see the tiny smile playing on his lips. It was hard not to stare at Michael’s lips while he mouthed along the strange names on the menu.

Just when Luke was about to give in, a waiter appeared at their table, “Good evening, I’m Gerard your waiter for tonight. May I take your orders?”

Gerard was a tall, lanky man in his mid-forties. His french accent was heavy, bushy eyebrows twitching into a furrow when he laid eyes on Luke. Luke wanted to sigh. This was just what he needed tonight. Self-consciously, he tried to hide his dark purple lips behind his menu.

“I’ll take the American Porterhouse, medium,” Michael interferred. He had watched the interaction and didn’t bother to keep the irritation out of his voice. Luke wanted to take his hand, tell him it was alright. Then he remembered that he couldn’t.

Gerard rightened his back, nodding, “And for the…”

“Spaghetti Carbonara,” Luke said, quietly. He just wanted the waiter to leave. After having scribbled their orders down, Gerard did.

“Asshole,” Michael muttered after him.

“It’s fine, Michael,” Luke said, softly.

Michael’s glare vanished as he turned towards Luke, was replaced by a sad smile, “Tell me what happened yesterday.”

Michael’s voice was small, wavering, but his gaze steady, meeting Luke’s. For the first time, Luke could see it, the excruciating amount of pain Luke had brought upon him, visible in Michael’s eyes. It was like a hammer to the chest, and like that Luke knew that he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t live without Michael. He had to fix this. But he couldn’t tell Michael the truth. As much as he couldn’t live without him, he couldn’t have Michael hate him either. And Michael would, if he knew what Luke had done. Luke had to keep it under the wraps, a secret. If he could just manage another four weeks, then he would be gone and Michael and him would have a perfect life in LA.

“I was out of my mind,” Luke heard himself say. It wasn't a lie, technically. "The panic attack freaked me out and I had all these thoughts and I am sorry."

"You said we were a mistake," Michael cast his eyes down.

"I did and god that was so wrong of me. I did it to hurt you and I am so sorry for that. It was a lie, I swear.”

Michael jutted out his bottom lip, his eyes shiny in the candle light. Luke didn’t bother to keep any of his desperation out of his voice as he said, “I love you. I do. I love you more than anything, Michael. Please, forgive me.”

“I really thought you didn’t want me anymore,” Michael looked up at him, eyes reddening because of the tears he was holding in, but he was smiling. Michael took the hand Luke had rested on the table, squeezed and Luke felt like he could breathe again.

“You forgive me?”

His smile becoming solemn, Michael lifted his free hand and cupped Luke’s cheek.

“Now that’s cute.”

Luke could feel the blood freeze in his veins. This was not the reality he lived in. It couldn’t be. Stomach dropping, Luke turned his head to find that it was.

“Uhm, excuse you” slightly irritated, Michael turned his head as well, “but this is kind of like a private moment?”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt!” the lie was so obvious that Michael narrowed his eyes, “I should have introduced myself.”

Luke closed his eyes, jumped when he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder.

“I’m Ty Bellagio,” Ty smiled brightly at Michael, squeezing himself into the bench next to Luke and Luke thought he might have to vomit, “I’m sure Lukey here has told you a lot about me.”

Ty ruffled Luke’s hair.

“No, he didn’t actually,” Michael’s voice was flat, his eyes fixed on the hand Ty had buried in Luke’s hair. He scowled when Luke tried to shake Ty off, causing the bronze-haired boy to scoot even closer, “Sorry, but who the fuck are you?”

“I’m his ex-boyfriend,” Ty’s smile became just the slightest hint of derogative as he eyed Michael up and down, “well, one of them.”

Luke was pretty sure Michael would have surged over the table and strangled Ty then and there, if it wouldn’t have been for Gerard reappearing in that very same moment, placing their steaming plates in front of them.

“Enjoy your meal,” the waiter mumbled before leaving again. He had obviously sensed the tension at their table.

“Now that looks delicious,” Ty praised and rolled Luke’s cutlery out of it’s cloth, “you don’t mind, do you?”

Luke just stared at him until Ty shrugged and began digging into Luke’s pasta.

Michael snarled, “Okay, dude, I really don’t know who you think you are and I honestly don’t give a shit, but I am Luke’s boyfriend, present tense, and I’d advise you to leave right the fuck now.”

“Present tense,” Ty raised his eyebrows at Luke in faux-surprise, “you didn’t tell him, Lukey?”

“Tell me what?” Michael snapped, turning to face Luke.

Luke’s heart was hammering against his rib cage. He couldn’t. “Nothing.”

“No, tell me. Is this,” Michael’s eyes went wide, “is this about last night?”

Luke suppressed a whimper, “It’s nothing.”

“Oh, c’mon,” Ty groaned, way too loud. The elderly couple at the table next to them looked over. Ty smiled sweetly at them before setting his cutlery down and resting his hand on Luke’s back. “Tell your boyfriend, present tense, Luke,” he cooed, “tell him the fairytale gone bad.”

Frantically, Luke shook his head, “No.”

Michael who had watched their exchange with his lips slightly parted, snapped his mouth shut, “Luke, tell me.”

“I can’t,” Luke begged Michael to let it go with his eyes before closing them, “I won’t.”

Luke opened his eyes just in time to see Michael’s eye twitch.

“Okay,” Michael nodded, pressing his lips into a tight line, “okay fine. This is it then.” His eyes flicked to the arm Ty still had draped around Luke’s shoulder, darkened. “But this is a fourty dollar steak and I’m going to finish it, so.”

Ty got the cue and, to Luke’s surprise, took it.

“It’s getting quite late and my work here is done. It was nice seeing you, Lukey. It was also very nice meeting you, Michael,” Ty grinned and turned around to leave. He was gone as quickly as he had come. Ty had needed less than ten minutes to destroy Luke’s life. Luke wanted to laugh at the irony of that, because so had been the video.

The moment the front door of the restaurant had fallen shut behind Ty, Luke whirled around to find Michael already staring at him.

“Michael,” Luke tried but the other boy silenced him with a single twitch of his mouth.

“Don’t bother, Luke,” Michael said, tonelessly, “I get it. It’s fine.”

With that, Michael got up and left the restaurant. Luke struggled to fish the right amount of bills out of his wallet before throwing them onto the table and running after him. The cold air outside hit Luke like a whip, but he couldn’t care. Frantically he began running, swerving around the people clogging up the sidewalk, but to no avail. Michael was gone. 


	21. Bass Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION! there are some trigger warnings for this chapter: homphobia, the t-slur 
> 
> Stay safe, enjoy xx

Luke entered the seven-story brick building through the parking garage. Even through eight inches of solid concrete, a couple feet soil and another inch of asphalt, he could still hear the masses of teenage girls, who were camping out on the radio station’s parking lot.

Luke had seen the line from down the block already. He hadn’t been surprised, really. Over the past six months, there rarely had been an occasion where no mob had formed when Michael and Ashton had announced their presence somewhere, the mob getting bigger seemingly each time. Not that Luke had actively looked for evidence of it. His timeline, dashboard and template of every other social media he used was just overflowing with pictures and posts, no matter what time of the day he went online. Luke didn’t go online much these days.

He had done that in the beginning. Masochistically, Luke had read every reaction post, every confused to indignated tweet after he had deleted the ‘taken’ off of his instagram profile. He had subjected himself to every picture and gif of Michael and him happily together posted in rebellion by their shippers and simultaneously ignored every message asking about Michael. The public break up had been messy. In the end, Michael had been the one to announce it, with nothing more than a simple ‘no it’s over x’ in response to a fan’s tweet asking if they were still together.

That one had hurt. Not that it wasn’t Luke’s own fault. It wasn’t enough to stop him either. When Michael and Ashton had dropped their EP, a month later, Luke had still read every in depth analysis of all of the songs Michael had presumably written about Luke.

Luke had found pieces of them in the songs, references that no one would ever understand but Luke and that still hurt like paper cuts every time he had to suffer through them on the radio. Michael’s voice had been everywhere, always there to haunt Luke until eventually, Calum forced Luke to stop listening. Luke felt sorry for Calum. He could see the pain in Calum’s eyes whenever he looked at Luke to find that his best friend had lost his mind.

Calum had tried to save him.

"Why do you let him do this to you? Listen, just call him and explain him everything. He loves you, he’ll understand it. You don’t have to suffer like this, Luke.”

Luke had smiled at him, the ‘yes I do’ so blatantly obvious in his features that it had made Calum bury his face in his hands, the dark circles underneath his eyes becoming seemingly more prominent, “Why? I really don’t understand why.”

"Because I deserve it."

"No you don't!" Calum had yelled at him, near crying. "You made one mistake, Luke, one."

“Just let it go, Cali.”

Calum had eventually. They had gotten too caught up in the move, their everyday life catching up to them, eventually. Luke had built himself this castle in his mind, keeping him sheltered, kept all the feelings buried deep inside his chest. It was during the fifth month that it had stopped working.When the dam had broken, it had been messy. Within a single moment, he had felt everything, the ocean of unresolved feelings making him yield in the middle of a meeting.

The company people had been polite about it, like they had been about everything else as well, but it was still an embarrassment. The look in Calum’s eyes when he had picked Luke up to take him home for post panic attack Netflix and cuddles had given Luke the rest.

Putting on an impassive face, Luke entered the elevator that would take him up to the radio station. KIIS FM was set to host an acoustic performance of Michael and Ashton’s debut album in half an hour. Luke purposely avoided the reflecting back wall of the elevator. There was no make-up on his face as he couldn’t risk drawing any attention to himself.

The lady at the reception greeted Luke with a friendly smile once he had shown her his VIP lanyard.

“Right there down the hall, sweetie. The door should be open.”

Luke smiled at her before following her directions. The room was already brimming with people, excited chatter filling the air. In the front of the room, two technicians were adjusting the spotlight shining down on the cajon and stool already set up on stage.  Luke was thankful for the commotion that allowed him to slip into the back of the room unnoticed. He pressed himself against the wall. With a dozen rows of fans between them, he hoped to be invisible for the duration of the performance.

Ashton was the first one to enter the stage, his appearance causing a cacophony of squealing and screams to erupt. Waving and blowing kisses, Ashton took a seat on the cajon. For a moment, Ashton’s eyes searched the crowd before they locked with Luke’s and the curly-haired man nodded. Luke needed to thank him for the VIP pass later.

The volume doubled yet again when Michael entered the stage. Luke kept his eyes closed, waited until the noise had died down for the most part before he allowed himself to look. Luke felt like an alcoholic drinking vodka after half a year of abstinence. It had been so long.

Michael’s hair was a flaming red now, his pale skin almost glowing in the spotlight. He looked good, so much better than Luke’s memory had been able to provide. Luke tried hard to ignore the intense yearning in his chest.

He made it through the past couple of songs okay. Even bound to a chair, with an acoustic guitar on his lap, Michael’s stage presence was still incredible and Luke managed to focus on that the majority of time. Whenever it got too much, he averted his gaze to Ashton, laughing as he pounded down on his cajon. Luke had missed Ashton, too.

It wasn’t until Michael shushed the crowd with his hands and Ashton pressed a finger to his lips, parted in an excited grin, that Luke knew he had made a mistake coming here.

“So the next song, the next song is a song off of our new album.”

The announcement made the crowd utter an unanimous gasp before everyone was screaming over each other. A near full two minutes passed before Michael had managed to calm the crowd down again.

“We have never played it outside the studio, so I’m quite excited for you to, uhm, to hear it. This is a song I wrote about…” Michael’s voice cracked. The crowd dissolved into screams as Michael lifted his head and smiled apologetically at his fans. On the TV screens next to his head, it was visible that his eyes had become shiny and Luke’s stomach dropped. Obviously pulling himself together, Michael looked down at his guitar, plucking a single string, “This is a song I wrote about a boy I loved. It’s called Amnesia. Enjoy!”

 

*

There were a small amount of people in the dressing room when Luke walked in, none of them batting an eye after he had hung his VIP pass around his neck. Luke took a seat on one of the sofas and watched Michael hug and talk to the fans on the flatscreen above the buffet. Luke sat up when he saw Michael leave the showroom with Ashton.

Ashton was the first one to enter, his expression becoming solemn when he saw Luke. Ashton stepped aside, just when Michael burst into the room. He had been in the middle of talking, his animated hand gestures dying as he followed Ashton’s line of sight and his eyes landed on Luke.

All light faded from Michael’s eyes and Luke thought his heart was about to beat out of his chest. It was like a change in atmosphere that slowly but surely made all conversation in the room cease. Michael stared at Luke.

“Surprise?” Luke pressed out, standing up slowly.

Michael continued to stare at him, unblinking, his mouth agape.

“I’m uh… I’m uh I came because you’ve blocked my number and I fucked up and,” Luke heaved in a breath, “I fucked up, and I’m here because I want to apologize.”

There was a reaction, on Michael’s side, an infinitesimal twitch in the muscle of his cheek.  

Luke took it as a cue to keep talking. He was well aware that every single person in the room was staring at him, but he couldn’t care. Michael was here and he hadn’t pummeled Luke yet, so Luke took that as a good sign.

“I thought it was easier to push you away, because I’ve done something terrible, I’ve done something so terrible that I don’t know how you could not hate me if I tell you, but I have to tell you because, frankly, I’m out of my fucking mind without you. I need you, I need you and I’d rather have you hate me for some time until I can beg for your forgiveness, then not have you at all.”

Slowly, Michael took a step forward, his gaze intensifying as he licked his lips, a single word spilling over them, “Leave.”

“Michael,” Ashton tried, but Michael waved him off, his eyes flicking to the people around them and it was then that Luke realised Michael wasn’t talking to him, “Could all of you leave, please?”

It took a couple of seconds for everyone to shuffle out of the room, seconds Luke spent staring at Michael, searching for any indication of what was about to happen next, but Michael wasn’t looking at him.

“You want me to go as well?” Ashton asked once the room was empty except for them.

“No,” Michael shook his head and turned towards the sofas. The smell of Michael’s cologne knocked the breath right out of Luke’s lungs as he walked by, their shoulders almost brushing.

“Take a seat.”

Luke hurried to oblige.

“Tell me,” Michael demanded once Luke had perched himself next to him. Ashton took a seat on the other sofa. Michael caught Luke’s gaze, his face impassive as he said, “tell me about that horrible thing you’ve done.”

Luke nodded. This was what he had come for. “You remember my ex Ty, yeah?”

Michael tensed, “Yeah.”

Luke inhaled, deeply, “When I was fifteen, I was in a very bad place. High school made me keep my gender under the wraps, and it killed me. I was scared of the kids at school, torn between being ashamed of myself and just wanting to express who I really was. There weren’t really many reasons to go on for me, but there was Ty.”

Michael snorted lightly and Luke let his gaze fall to his lap. He began to pick on a loose strand hanging from the knee slit in his skinny jeans. “Ty was that kid everyone knew. Norwest was all about money and his family has a lot of it, so he was popular and, well, I had Calum, but I was so out of my mind that I didn’t manage any other social interaction, “ Luke coughed, “Ty got assigned to be my partner in a lab project and once he found out I was gay, we began dating. I was starstruck. Ty Bellagio wanted to be my boyfriend, and at first it didn’t bother me that he wouldn’t hold my hand in public. His family is old Italian nobility, not someone you could come out to and the kids at school… we had to keep it a secret. And I was happy, I was. We tried so hard.”

Michael shifted, “But not hard enough?”

“His father found out,” Luke winced, even at the memory of the angry suit-clad man with the bushy eyebrows physically dragging Ty off of Luke and out of their hiding spot behind one of the statues in the Bellagio’s entrance hall. “He didn’t take it well. I wanted to stand up to him, but Ty he… he tried to talk himself out of it, said I was nothing but an experiment. He called me an experiment.” Even now, Luke couldn’t keep the indignation out of his voice.

There was honest concern in Michael’s voice when he said, “I’m sorry.”

It was a step towards him, but Luke couldn’t take it. “Don’t be,” he laughed mirthlessly, “I destroyed his life.”

Michael furrowed his brows and Luke closed his eyes, “I hadn’t noticed before that he never said he liked boys. He told me loved me, sure, but he wasn’t… he didn’t admit to anyone that he was gay, not even to himself and that made me mad.”

Luke pried his eyes open again, “The realisation that my fairytale, us against the rest of the world love was nothing than him getting off hit me hard, and I was so damn angry. He hurt me and I wanted to hurt him. I hurt him,” Luke took in a deep breath, “I uploaded a video of us kissing. I had taken it without his permission, I - everyone saw it, even his dad. They kicked him out because they thought it was taken after his dad had found us. His family abandoned him because of me.”

“Oh no,” Ashton muttered from his spot on the other couch. Luke smiled feebly at him, “that’s not all of it.”

Michael raised his eyebrows, imperceptibly almost.

Luke clasped his hands in his lap, “Of course I outed myself with that video as well, so with everyone at school knowing about me anyways, I decided to upload my first video. So not enough that he got kicked out at home, he also was forever the guy that had dated a-” Luke cleared his throat. “They called him tranny fucker.”

The noise Michael made was short-lived, but Luke had understood him nonetheless.

“It’s okay,” Luke smiled, genuinly, “I had my brothers and Calum to keep any bullies off my back. That one kid, Parker Chase, tried to mess with me a couple of times, but he stopped after Calum put a frog in his locker. Parker was scared of amphibians.”

“Good one,” Ashton mumbled and Luke tried hard not to grin at him. So damn obvious.

“What happened then?” Michael asked.

Luke felt his stomach sink. So far, Michael had been calm, the impassive expression on his face seemingly set in stone. But whatever had happened between them, Luke was sure Michael wouldn’t like this.

“Ty avoided me for a week, hung out only with the few of his friends who thought it was just funny and not disgusting what he had done. I thought he was figuring out stuff, he was basically homeless now after all and, yeah. In my mind, we were still in love,” Luke laughed at himself, mirthlessly. “He called me that Saturday, asked to come over, told me he loved me and he didn’t care what everyone else thought.”

Michael growled, like he knew what was coming. In retrospect, Luke thought that he himself should have known too.

“I was over the moon. My parents weren’t home and I thought that - I told him that he could come over and he did, hugged me and told me he missed me. He was the only boy to ever tell me that and I was in love with him, I was. We talked for a while, he told me how he had found shelter at one of his friend’s houses and made all these crazy plans how he could come sneak out to meet me. I believed him.”

Luke took a deep breath, “Eventually, he asked me to show him how I do my make-up. Ty said he wanted to know every aspect of me, even the one I had kept hidden from him, from everyone. So I lead him into the bathroom. There’s this really fancy mirror covering half the wall and I thought it was perfect.”

“What did he do?” Michael’s voice was calm, collected, but Luke could see the white state of his knuckles.

Luke smiled at him. The love he felt for Michael was overwhelming, ousting every negative emotion the memory brought. “He slapped me when I tried to apply make-up.”

Michael went rigid beside him. Luke left out the rest. There was no need to tell Michael how Ty hadn’t stopped there, had brought Luke to his knees before applying all pretty shades of blue and purple and red.

“He also destroyed all my make-up, called me an abomination for using it. He was… cruel. I thought I deserved it.”

Luke touched Michael’s arm before the other boy could speak, “I know better now, I promise.”

Michael deflated and Luke continued, “I hid out in my room the rest of the weekend, and faked sick on Monday. My mum freaked out when she saw my face. I managed about a week before she got me to tell her. She called the school and because Norwest has a no-violence-policy Ty got kicked out. Another way I destroyed his life. Though he couldn’t have attended anyways.”

“Why?” Ashton asked.

“Calum,” Luke felt the corners of his mouth lift, “Ty left a pretty nasty bruise on my face and Calum kind of freaked. He took my brothers and beat Ty to mush for what he had done. They sent him straight to the hospital, though my brother said him and Jack didn’t really do anything, that it was mostly Calum.”

“Good,” Michael and Ashton said, simultaneously, making Luke smile.

A jittery kind of relief washed over him. He had done it. He had told his story. “I didn’t see Ty again for years after that, not until I met him at a dinner party a couple of months ago. I mean I knew the Bellagios would be attending, my dad’s company works closely with theirs, but the last thing we knew was that they had abandoned Ty. Apparently, they have accepted him back, but yeah that’s it. That’s the story. I destroyed his life, so he tried to do the same to me.”

Luke let go of the loose thread he had played with and looked up at Michael, “Was he successful? Do you- do you hate me now?

Michael looked at him, the flaming red of his hair seemingly intensifying his gaze.

Eventually, Michael took in a breath, “So, you didn’t cheat on me?”

“What?” Luke’s face fell in shock, “No! Of course not I would never - why would you even think that?”

Michael looked away from him, shrugged, “I don’t know, Luke, we were fine and then suddenly your ex-boyfriend appears and you wouldn’t tell me what you had done, that I would hate you if you did and when you came here today you said you did something terrible and-”

Luke cut Michael off by taking his hand, “I would never do that, Michael. Ever. You’re more than enough for me.”

“During the past six months or so,” Michael took in a deep breath, averted his gaze back to meet Luke’s eyes, “there hasn’t been a day that I haven’t missed you. I had to block your number because god knows that just a single text from you would have been enough for me to come let go of everything. And I want you to know that you are not a despicable person, Luke. You did one bad thing when you were a teenager, that does not make you a bad person. Besides, that motherfucker deserved it anyways. You’re beautiful. What he did to you was vile and disgusting and you’re so fucking beautiful, Luke, inside and out and I wish you could see that. I don’t hate you, Luke. I could never hate you.”

Luke thought his heart was about to beat out of his chest, with how hard it was pounding, “You don’t?”

“No,” Michael said, “I could never. I love you too much.”

Luke’s brain needed approximately two and a half seconds to decipher the message, “Wait, you mean?”

Michael stared at him hard, almost menacing, before a slow, tentative smile spread over his lips and he opened his arms. Luke wasn’t proud of how fast he flung himself at the other boy.

“Michael,” Luke sobbed into the other boy’s neck, the past six months of stress and sadness and longing collapsing over him like an ocean, “Michael.”

“I know,” Michael breathed into his ear before tightening his grip so hard that it cut off Luke’s air, “I missed you. God, I missed you like crazy.”

Luke didn’t mind being crushed. He didn’t need air, he had Michael.

“I love you,” Luke managed, “I am so sorry. I love you.”

Michael pulled away, cupping his cheek, “I love you, too,” he said earnestly before pressing their lips together. It was a chaste kiss, nothing more but the press of closed mouths together, but to Luke it was everything. Still needing more, he opened his mouth, coaxed Michael with his tongue to do the same thing. It wasn’t until they were blinded by the flash of a phone that Michael broke for air.

“Ashton!”

“Sorry, guys,” Ashton smiled, really not sorry at all, “I documented this relationship since the first time you met, I can’t stop now.”

“You’re annoying,” Michael complained, the huge, dopey smile on his face contradicting his words.

Ashton let out a mock-offended gasp, “Excuse you? You call me annoying? As far as I can remember it was me who listened to your annoying ass whine after this one,” Ashton jutted his thumb out at Luke, “for a full half a year. A little bit of gratitude, please.”

“Sure,” Michael said before he was lifting Luke off of his lap and flopping down on the other boy, “You can have all the gratitude you want.”

“All the love,” Luke added before wedging himself into the pile.

He smiled when he felt Michael’s hand intertwine with his. They weren’t completely okay yet, it would take more than just one conversation to fix them, but Luke knew that they would make it. Michael loved him, despite of everything. That was more than Luke could have hoped for. He wouldn’t let another chance pass. 


	22. Post Production

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have made it, yet another time. I am mind blown and so so exhilarated by the positive feedback this fic has gotten. Thank you so much for that, endlessly. 
> 
> Special shoutout to my lovely James for being this fic's biggest stan, to Andie for being hellish with me, always, to Mell (and all the other awesome people) that put make-up onto Luke and made it all the more real and of course to Max, my beloved Baymax, for giving this fic a more than [kickass edit.](http://mikeykink.tumblr.com/post/134091481686/comment-like-subscribe-my-heart-by-thesoulsailor)

The screaming was deafening, even from behind the door leading into the parking garage.

“Ready?” Michael asked him, eyes full of concern and Luke felt butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. It was so good, having Michael look at him with adoring worry again.

“Yeah,” Luke smiled, squeezing Michael’s hand in his.

Ashton, in front of them, nodded at their security guard who pulled the door for them open. The van was parked as close to the door as possible, nonetheless they had to overcome a considerable mob blocking the way.

“Michael! Michael!”

“Ashton! Ash, I love you!”

“Make some space!” that came from the security guard, desperately trying to push them a way through.

“Luke? Oh my god, guys, it’s Luke!”

“Guys, Lichael is back!”

Luke’s ears were ringing, his eardrums seconds from busting, by the time Michael managed to pull him into the backseat of the car. Ashton, who had tried to shield them for the most part, took the seat bank opposite of them, throwing the van door shut behind him.

“That was crazy,” Luke stated. His breaths were coming in shallow pants. He hid his face in the crook of Michael’s neck as soon as phones began to be pressed onto the windows. Ashton tried to gather as much attention as possible, waving and smiling through the tinted windows.

As soon as their driver had steered the car onto the streets, away from the radio station, Luke lifted his head, but kept close to Michael who smiled at him.

“This is all because of you, you know?” Michael whispered, pressing Luke’s knuckles to his lips. “If you would have never shared our song none of this would have ever happened.”

“I don’t think so,” Luke said certainly, “I am absolutely sure you would have made it without me.”

“I could have never made it without you.”

“Guys,” Ashton whined from their spot opposite of them, “I know you’re all happy about being back together, and I’m happy for you, too, I swear, but that was too cheesy.”

“Hey, I just got my boyfriend back, let me live a little,” Michael bit back, laughter prominent in his voice, “I can be as disgusting as I want.”

Ashton made a show of covering his eyes while Michael pulled Luke against him, his smile turning earnest and so soft as he carefully pressed his lips against Luke’s. Luke felt oceans shift inside him, his skin prickling with the sensation of Michael’s touch. It felt so good, being able to kiss Michael again.

Michael’s eyes were gleaming with adoration when he pulled away, kept his face inches away from Luke’s, “Do you have time tonight?”

Luke nodded and Michael breathed out, “We should go out for dinner, tonight. Talk it out properly.”

“Yes,” Luke nodded, “absolutely.”

“What hotel are you staying at? We can drop you off there, then I’ll come around at eight and pick you up.”

Luke felt his cheeks redden, “Uhm, actually I, so me and Cali, we live here now, so you can drop me off at my apartment.”

“Wait what? You do?”

“Yeah,” Luke smiled sheepishly at him before clearing his throat, “I uhm I got an offer from a beauty company. They knew me from my videos and asked me to become a consultant for their new summer line. I wanted to tell you, but that was when-”

Luke didn’t finish the sentence. Michael nodded. He seemed to contemplate for a moment before he squeezed Luke’s hand, “That’s awesome, Luke. Really, really awesome. I am so incredibly proud of you.”

Luke’s felt his stomach flutter, “Thank you.”

“Also I’m glad I don’t have to say goodbye to you in a few days,” Michael added with a laugh, “Don’t know if I could handle a temporary visit.”

“No,” Luke said, “I’m here to stay.”

Luke ignored Ashton’s pointed gagging noises as he placed his lips back on Michael’s.

*

Luke was sitting at his kitchen table, cutting a pear while the LA sun rose beneath the floor-length windows of the kitchen. A good ten minutes after he had sat down, Calum stumbled into the kitchen, his running shoes producing a squelching sound on the tiled floor. The front of his shirt was drenched, water not sweat unarguably.

“You know we could just switch.”

“Sorry, what was that, Lukey?” Calum asked, plucking his earphones out of his ears. He grabbed a bottle of water and a spoon before joining Luke at the kitchen table.

“We could just switch,” Luke repeated, more clearly. Calum, occupied by shovelling the greater part of Luke’s fruit salad into his mouth, just tilted his head in question while he began to chew.

Luke smiled, “So you wouldn’t have to sneak out of the flat under the disguise of going to the gym anymore in order to bone Ashton. I already know about that.”

Calum spluttered, sending tiny chunks of pear and grape everywhere. “What?” he wheezed out between coughs.

Luke sighed and ripped a paper towel off the roll before wiping the table top and after a short moment of contemplation, also the area around Calum’s mouth.

“You know,” Calum muttered as Luke pulled away.

“I thought you would tell me in your own time, sorry.”

“Did you really get up at,” Calum threw a short glance at the kitchen counter, “six am just to tell me?”

“No, I couldn’t sleep,” Luke shrugged, “but don’t deflect. You and Ashton have been messing around behind our back and I want to know everything.”

“You and Michael and your couple plural”, Calum shifted in his seat. His cheeks became redder by the second.

“Cali,” Luke cooed, “you know I’m not mad or anything, I’m just surprised you know.”

“Oh believe me, I was too.”

“Because the last time we talked you were…”

“I didn’t know I wasn’t,” something about the way Calum said it told Luke that there was more to it.

Chewing on his lip, Luke pushed the bowl of fruit salad over the table, “Tell me.”

Calum looked down, took a spoon of the fruit salad before he spoke up. Luke was shocked to find the white of Calum’s eyes reddened. “At first it was like… he just blew my mind you know? He was so cool and we clicked like instantly you and Michael were gone a lot, so we hung out, just the two of us and…” Calum took in a deep breath, “... and then one night he kissed me.”

Calum continued before Luke could say something, “I thought it was fine, you know? I’m used to the people closest to me being not straight, so I thought ‘oh it’s fine if he’s bisex, he’ll understand it if I’m not’, but-”   
“But what?” Luke coaxed gently after Calum had gone silent.

“But I didn’t tell him that. I didn’t tell him to stop, I- we… I didn’t want him to stop.”

“Oh, Cali,” Luke patted his best friend’s hand, sympathetically, but Calum shook his head, “I hurt him, Luke. I totally lead him on. I was such a jerk to him. He wanted to tell you and Michael and I told him not to because in my mind I was straight. You’re the gay one and I’m supposed to be the straight one, right?”

“Calum,” Luke felt his heart clench, “it’s okay if you haven’t figured that out for yourself, yeah?”

“I yelled at him when he asked me to be his boyfriend, Lukey. I told him I wasn’t into boys.”

Luke gasped, and Calum buried his face in his hands.The shift in atmosphere was almost tangible.

A couple of seconds of silence passed before Luke asked, “Are you? Into boys?”

“I’m into Ashton,” Calum said, keeping a hand clasped over his mouth. “That’s all I know.”

“That’s fine,” Luke quickly assured him.

Calum scoffed before deflating. He looked at his hands, “I miss him, Luke. I’m not sneaking out to bone him. I’m walking around town like an idiot in the hopes of bumping into him because he won’t talk to me and honestly I deserve that.”

“Shit,” Luke said. He felt horrible for not finding better words.

“Shit,” Calum confirmed.

They sat in silence for several minutes, the sun rising high enough to blind Luke while he looked out of the window.

“So,” Calum cleared his throat, eventually, “you couldn’t sleep? Nervous for tonight?”

“Yeah,” Luke nodded. A sudden smile spread over his lips as he had an idea, “Calum, go shower! We are going shopping.”

*

With calm, practised ease, Luke lifted the mascara brush to his right eye, his mouth falling open as he applied the dark liquid. Once he was satisfied with the right, he went to fix his left eye as well. As soon as he was content with his eye make-up, he moved to his lips.

“What do you think?” Luke asked, squinting at the bright red colour on his lips in the mirror.

“I think it looks beautiful,” Michael smiled from his spot on the edge of the bathtub, “I think you’re missing something, though.”

Luke furrowed his brows, watched in confusion as Michael got up and walked over to the counter. His tattooed hand hovered over the abundance of lipstick in Luke’s toiletries bag for only a moment before he settled on a dark, navy blue.

Luke closed his eyes when Michael’s hand closed around the lip stick. It was too much. He loved Michael too much. Nonetheless he pried his eyes back open to watch Michael apply the dark navy to his own lips.

As soon as he was done, Michael turned to him with a smile, “Look good?”

Luke nodded, overwhelmed.

Michael grinned at him before leaning forward, “Bet I can make it look even better.”

It was messy, the way Michael kissed him, their lipsticks smearing into one shade of stark, dark purple. Luke laughed when Michael pulled away, a good portion of the lipstick now smudged over Michael’s chin.

“Here, let me fix this,” Luke giggled, taking a make up wipe to clean Michael’s face off, “can’t have you walking around with make up all over your face.”

“No, just on my lips,” Michael poked his tongue out and Luke’s breath hitched. They had done this before, Michael sitting model for him when he wanted to try out new make up, but Luke had always taken it off afterwards.

“Are you sure?”

“One day,” Michael smiled at their image in the mirror, his hand coming up to lift Luke’s chin, “one day someone’s son will walk into class and he will brag to his friends about this coolass new shade of Stormtrooper green his mum bought him for his birthday. And all his friends will be jealous because their eye shadows aren’t as pretty.”

“But Stormtroopers are black and white.”

Michael mock-glared at him before he giggled as Luke crashed their lips back together, shortly as to not ruin their lipstick any further.

“I love you.”

“I love you,” Michael replied simply, honestly, “Now let’s get changed because I am really pumped for this event. My baby is getting a prize.”

“Shush, Michael, I told you I’m not getting a prize. They are just introducing me,” Luke blushed.

“I know that. Your prize is me, naked, afterwards. You get to peel that fancy-ass suit off of me,” Michael grinned at him. “I’m still proud of you, though.”

*

The ride to the venue that the beauty company Luke worked for would host their dinner in was considerably awkward. Now that Luke knew, it really baffled him how he hadn’t noticed the more than thick tension between Ashton and Calum. Not that Calum didn’t try, Luke had give him that much. Calum had tried to rope Ashton into conversation, find a good time to apologise, as Luke knew. Ashton treated Calum like air.

The dinner hall was filled with important looking people in expensive looking clothing when they arrived. There were the usual looks, Luke was pretty sure there would never be a conservative setting where he wouldn’t receive and bemused to irritated glances, but he could deal with it. Michael next to him, seemed to have a field day beaming extra brightly at every grey-haired white man or lady who had the audacity to crinkle up their nose. And Luke was so in love.

It was so easy, getting lost in Michael’s eyes that he almost missed his cue when the CEO of the company called out his name, introducing him to the dinner guests as the new consultant producer. Luke managed to stand up, wave and then sit back down like he had seen all the other important people of the night. Michael squeezed his thigh once he had sat back down.

“That was good. You looked pretty.”

Luke felt at ease after that. He saw nothing but smiling faces as he looked around the room.

After the dinner, everyone got up to mingle. Luke lost count of the people approaching him quickly. Michael next to him kept silent, speaking only when he was addressed directly, introducing himself as Luke’s boyfriend.

“I’m gonna get something to drink real quick,” Luke excused himself after they had fended off a lady that had looked scarily like Anna Wintour. “I’ll be right back.”

Luke had almost reached the buffet when there was a hand wrapping around his upper arm, “Luke!”

“Calum!” Luke gave back, just as freaked out as Calum seemed to be.

“You have to help me, man, this elderly woman just felt up my arms and whispered “grrr”, also I’m pretty sure she offered me money, help!”

“Just tell them you’re gay,” a cold voice supplied from behind them, Ashton coming to a halt in front of them a second later. His long fingers were wrapped around a flute of champagne, “oh wait.”

“Ashton,” Calum squeaked.

The curly-haired boy just raised an eyebrow at him.

“Can- can we talk?”

Luke laid his hand on Calum’s back in reassurance.

Calum straightened up under his touch, determination lacing his voice, “I mean, can I talk to you?”

Ashton stared at him for a hard few seconds before shrugging, “Lead the way, then.”

Calum nodded, shoving his shaking hands into his pockets before he walked off to a spot next to the buffet. Ashton looked at the ceiling, muttering a couple of words under his breath before downing the rest of his champagne and following Calum.

Luke watched them while he picked up two flutes for him and Michael off of the buffet table. Ashton was standing with his back to Luke, the blond boy only being able to gauge Calum’s facial expression. His best friend was talking fastly, seemingly tumbling over his words a couple of times and then struggling to pick them back up. Ashton crossed his arms about halfway through. In an attempt of support, Luke gave Calum a thumbs up, the one time Calum flicked his gaze to Luke, nervously. It didn’t seem to help.

Luke could tell by the way Ashton was standing, his head moving while he spoke that, if it wouldn’t have been for the string orchestra playing in the background, Luke would have been able to hear the older boy spit words of venom at his best friend.

They seemed to rile up Calum, as well, as slowly but surely, his expression turned from one of anxiety into one of anger. Both of the men were talking expressively with their hands, jutting their index fingers into each other’s face. Luke was about to hurry over, as it looked like Ashton was a split second away from strangeling Calum, when something else happened.

It was like witnessing a train wreck, watching Ashton and Calum’s bodies collide. Luke watched his two best friends suck face for a good ten seconds before it became too much and he had to turn away. The chance that he would ever start gagging or laughing uncontrollably was getting too high.

As if on cue, Michael appeared next to him. Michael slung an arm around his waist, taking one of the flutes out of Luke’s hand, “Hey babe, what’s taking you so long?”

Before Luke could answer they were interrupted by a person approaching them. The first thing Luke thought was that the boy was young, probably not older than sixteen. The second thing Luke thought that the boy’s eyeliner was on point. Maybe not a boy after all.

“Hello,” Luke smiled wildly at the kid. He knew that the boy knew him, could tell from the jittery state of his purple-manicured nails, the wide, astounded state of his eyes.

“Luke, LukeDoesThings, Luke, you’re-” the boy stuttered, his cheeks colouring a deep red.

“That’s me,” Luke chuckled, opening his arms for a hug. After a second of hesitation, the kid was taking it, squeezing Luke’s back tightly before letting go.

“Now you know who I am, but you gotta tell me who you are,” Luke asked as soon as the boy was standing a few feet away from him again.

“I’m Charle- I’m Charlie.”

“Hello, Charlie,” Luke mused. “Your eyeliner is on fleek, I’m almost jealous. I can never do the second wing as good.”

“I learned it from you,” Charlie piped up, “from your Winter 2013 tutorial, I’ve been a fan for a long time. I’m trans.” The last words came out in a rush, Charlie’s head and neck flaming up in a deep red colour. Now that they were out there, Charlie seemed to gather confidence, though, “I’ve been on E for two months now. And I want to thank you because you helped me figure myself out a lot and your coming out video enable me to do the same with my parents and-”

“Charlie?” they were interrupted by a voice. The man joining them was tall, with cropped black hair and a prominent nose. Luke’s heart skipped a beat when he saw that the man’s right eye was milky. “Charlie, there you are! We have to go, your mother is tired. I’m sure you can meet that make up boy sometime else, we- oh.”

“Dad,” Charlie whined, the ‘you’re embarrassing’ prominent in her voice.

“Hello, sir, I’m Luke.”

Charlie’s father nodded at him. He exchanged a quick look with his daughter before rummaging through his breast pocket.

Luke was surprised to find the man not addressing him but rather Michael by his side when he spoke, “You’re Michael Clifford, right?”

Michael nodded. The expression on his face was full of respect, almost intimidated. Michael knew this man.

Charlie’s father smiled at Michael, “You should come around sometime. As I have to listen to your music all the time anyways, I might as well get involved. Here.”

The man handed Michael a slim, white card before walking off with a pat on Michael’s shoulder. Charlie, after having hugged Luke again and scribbled her twitter name onto his hand with coal liner, hurried after her dad.

Michael’s mouth was left ajar, his eyes wide as if he couldn’t believe what had just happened.

Luke rubbed his shoulder until Michael snapped back to reality, his eyes staying wide open as he looked at Luke, “Did that just happen?”

Luke laughed, “Yeah, I think so.”

“Dude,” Michael whispered, “that was Louis Posen. _Oh my god_ , that was Louis Posen! I have to find Ashton!”

Michael went to run off, but Luke held him back, “Michael, wait! I uh, I wouldn’t try to find Ashton right now.”

Michael narrowed his eyes at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“He’s busy with Calum,” Luke rubbed the back of his neck. How was he supposed to explain the situation to Michael? “They kinda…”

“Oh,” realisation dawned in Michael’s eyes before he let out a loud, relieved sigh, “finally. Was about time they pulled their shit together. I swear to god, Ashton was starting to become annoying with his broody ass lyrics about unrequited love. Your best friend has to have some kind of magic dick or something to-”

“Oh my god, would you stop talking,” Luke laughed, Michael joining him a split second later.

“You’re right, I can think of way better ways to use my mouth.”

“Yeah?” Luke asked.

“Yeah,” Michael grinned, “I think it’s time for you to receive that prize we talked about.”

“Well, I can’t say no to that one.”

The both of them giggling like mad men, Michael pulled Luke towards the exit, “On a scale of one to ten, how pissed do you think Ash and Calum are going to be if we leave them here?”

“They are adults,” Luke argued, his words coming out a little more breathless than he would have liked, “They can call themselves a cab.”

Michael grinned at him before taking his hand, “Now that’s what I like to hear!”

“Hey, Michael?” Luke asked when they stepped out of the venue, cool night’s air making goosebumps raise on his arms.

“Yes, babe?”

“Do you want to get some ice cream?”

“Now?” Michael asked, incredulously.

“Yeah,” Luke smiled, “I still want to collect my prize later, but first I kinda want ice cream.”

Michael looked at him, so many stars in his eyes that Luke lost count, before he began to laugh, “Okay, Lukey. We’re gonna get ice cream.” Michael intertwined their hands, Luke’s black nails a stark contrast to his pale skin. “Because I love you.”

Luke smiled as Michael lead him down the sidewalk. Trusting Michael to guide him blindly, Luke looked up at the stars. Beneath them, with Michael by his side, he felt nothing but beautiful. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to tell me what you think via kudos/comments or on my 
> 
> [tumblr](http://mikeykink.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/dendroluke)
> 
> xx, Carly


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